children – Page 19 – Writes for all Mommies

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood

Night and Day

20/05/2013 WFAM

While most people think my boys are extremely similar in looks and personality, they are like night and day to me. Full Speed was built for sprinting. T.Puzzle is a long distance runner. Full Speed is a phenomenal eater and is willing to try anything once with a great attitude. T.Puzzle is more picky but I don’t really care, he still has to eat what I give him. Full Speed bores quickly in a pool. T.Puzzle is like a little Nemo who could swim joyfully for hours and hours, and often does.

I love that they are different. I love learning what makes each one tick and how they view the world. One way they differ significantly is the amount of words they each use on a daily basis. Full Speed is extremely vocal. It is pretty darn easy to figure out how he feels and what he is thinking. This is because he will give you a running commentary of every thought, feeling and emotion that comes over him the exact moment it comes over him. T.Puzzle, while loving and keenly observant, holds his cards close to the vest. I can relate because I’d much rather listen to someone tell their story than share my own. Still, a part of me wishes I knew a little bit more about what went on in that marvelous brain of his.

This morning Full Speed was in his usual action mode sharing his thoughts about the upcoming day. How he felt, what he was looking forward to and all the ways his day was going to be great. Then, T.Puzzle shocked me. He looked at me and said, “I think I am feeling….” I held my breath waiting to hear what his little heart needed to share. T.Puzzle continued “….like I really could eat a second waffle.”

Profound, wasn’t it?

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Big Dreams

15/05/2013 WFAM

Both my boys are convinced that they are amazing at everything. It doesn’t matter what it is. THEY. ARE. AWESOME.

I’ve thought long and hard about how I should temper this perceived awesomeness with reality. Then, I decided, what the heck? Does it really hurt anyone or anything if they have a solid belief in themselves? Won’t time, reality and wisdom show them what they truly are and aren’t awesome at? As long as they treat others with respect, I’m going to let it go.

As our first flag football game approached, Full Speed was convinced he would be raining down touchdowns. T.Puzzle was convinced his defensive rushing abilities were unparalleled. I, did not say a word about it. All I said is go out there and have fun.

In a matter of minutes it was clear we were the underdogs (I’m being kind here). After two, painfully long games, we were allowed the relief of leaving the field. We were on our way to meet friends and could overhear the excited chatter of the boys from the backseat of our car.

FULL SPEED: I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a professional football player when I grow up. I’m going to play for Ohio State in college and then maybe the Packers after that. T.Puzzle will like that because he was born in Wisconsin so he will like to come visit.

T.PUZZLE: Yep, I’m THE best rusher on our team.

Mad Dog and I seriously wondered if they had actually paid attention to the two games we just saw them lose. Yes, there were moments of potential. Full Speed did score a couple touchdowns and T.Puzzle sacked the QB ONCE, but that was about it.

So, I may have some reservations that they will play professional football but since no one ever knows what tomorrow holds, I’m letting them keep that dream intact.

If you can dream it, you can do it. -Walt Disney — If you can dream it, you can do it.
-Walt Disney

children, family, grief, humor, kids, kindergarten, loss of parent, motherhood, parenting

Mom’s Best Advice

08/05/2013 WFAM

Last week T.Puzzle’s teacher approached me for a conference. The thing about conferences is that they usually doesn’t consist of the teacher listing all the ways your kid is truly outstanding. As I entered the school building for the impending conference, I had a feeling she wouldn’t share anything with me that I didn’t on some level, already know. Basically, he speeds through everything, oversimplifies and isn’t interested in expounding on anything, ever. Pretty typical stuff for a kindergartener, but as his classmates are slowing down and answering questions in more detail, he is fine to zip through his schoolwork at a breakneck pace (Full Speed, Jr., anyone?). There’s not much to be done except encourage him to slow down as he does tasks at home and try to prompt more than one-word answers from him (Mad Dog, Jr., anyone?).

The hardest part of this conference day is that all I really wanted to do was call my Mom to talk about it. She was always the perfect combination of empathic listener with a good dose of pragmatism. She had a way of putting things in perspective while taking into consideration my extremely sensitive nature.

I miss that.

I miss her.

Of course she is on the forefront of my mind as Mother’s Day approaches. All I can do is remember a conversation I had with her shortly before she passed. She told me l knew her well enough that if I ever needed her advice when she was gone, I could imagine what she would tell me and I’d be exactly right.

So? What would she tell me? That T.Puzzle is brilliant, charming and handsome. She’d tell me that he’s an extremely active boy who would rather play soccer than sit still, write sentences or answer questions. She would tell me that I’m a great Mom and it’s only kindergarten. She’d tell me to focus on the good stuff the teacher said like how T.Puzzle is respectful to his classmates and his teachers. She’d tell me that when he’s CEO of a Fortune 500 company or president of the United States, that how he behaved in kindergarten won’t matter. It matters only to his future first grade teacher and first grade is months away. A lot can change over a summer and be patient. It will all work out just fine.

Thanks, Mom. I needed that.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Shower Space

02/05/2013 WFAM

Siblings often are the people you love to hate. When you are growing up they are your biggest competitors for just about everything. If you are lucky, they are your biggest supporters, too.

Recently, Full Speed has become more and more frustrated with T.Puzzle. I’ve definitely noticed the developmental gap widening between them. Somehow, second grade seems almost light years away from kindergarten. Eventually, T.Puzzle will catch-up to Full Speed and this gap will be much less noticeable. Until then, it is T.Puzzle’s absolute delight to torment his older brother.

After a particularly challenging afternoon of brotherly quarreling, Full Speed was done. We were all upstairs when Full Speed marched up to me and declared, “I’m going downstairs to take my shower. I want to do it by MYSELF! T.Puzzle can do his after.” The normal routine is to have them both head in to shower at the same time, but sensing Full Speed was ready to snap I acquiesced to his request.

He proceeded to trounce determinedly downstairs to get started. T.Puzzle and I remained upstairs while I finished putting away some laundry. I started to feel a little sad seeing Full Speed wanting his independence from his brother.

About two minutes later Full Speed comes racing back upstairs and zips into my bedroom. I looked up, startled, and asked him what he needed.

“Um, actually, it’s pretty scary downstairs all by myself. I think I want T.Puzzle to come with me.”

And just like that, the bonds of brotherhood were renewed.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Growing Pains

21/04/2013 WFAM

Somehow, my boys have the nerve to keep growing up. Not only are they more self-sufficient, they keep getting taller and taller. How do pants shrink overnight? How is it that one minute pjs fit, and the next day T.Puzzle and Full Speed could be in a Chris Farley ‘Big Kids in little PJs’ skit?

How, as Moms, do we not see this? Maybe because we are with them every day and the changes are subtle. Or, maybe, as Moms, a part of us feels our kids will never grow, therefore, they will never outgrow us.

Full Speed recently had a revelation. One of his teachers was talking about her grown kids and told him that her son was taller than her. Full Speed thought this was hilarious. “Mom, someday, I’m going to be taller than you!” His eyes gleamed at the thought while my stomach dropped to my shoes.

As Full Speed turned to leave the room I said, “Well, I guess I better be extra nice to you now so when you are bigger, you will be nice to me. By the way, did I mention how incredibly handsome you look today?”

He looked back, paused and said, “Wait a minute, are you saying that so I will be nice to you when I’m bigger?”

“Yep!”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that all I was really doing was using humor to deflect the tears that were welling up inside me.