Category: children

children, family, kids, motherhood, parenting, potty training

From One Mom to Another

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If you are out their struggling to make sense of your child’s behavior, you are not alone.  If you were to tell me how hard it has been for you to get your child to be potty-trained, eat vegetables, ride a bike, etc., I would empathize.  I wouldn’t be the type to tell you how easy it was for me to teach those skills to my kids and tell you the miraculous way in which I did so in under five minutes.

I’m not that Mom.

I’m the Mom that would listen.  I’m the Mom that wouldn’t judge you because I’ve been there.  In fact, I’m still there.  All you would need to see is me in the pool ‘teaching’ and ‘encouraging’ Full Speed to expand his swimming skills.  It would take you under a minute to see his stubborn face emerge, frustration creep over my face and understand the only thing learned in the pool that day is that I’m a terrible swim instructor.

I get it.

I get that you’ve tried every angle, every bribe you possibly can to get your child to comply with the life skill you are attempting to teach.  I get that you stress about it late at night and wonder what other Moms must think of you.  I know I especially experienced a lot of angst over potty training my boys.  All the ‘helpful’ suggestions from friends who had easily potty-trained their kids failed miserably for me.  Eventually I learned it is less about the methods and more about the DNA of your kid.  Even if you are equipped with top-notch advice and researched hours of the best solutions to your issue, if your kid is hard-core stubborn, most things are not going to work.

I am also the Mom that has faith in you.  All I can offer you is a spin on the current parenting challenge you are facing.  Focus less on what they are not doing and think about it more in terms of why they aren’t doing it.  It is all a matter of power and control.  So, maybe your kid isn’t the first one to ride a bike without training wheels, in the long run, when they learn won’t matter.  What you will come to appreciate (hopefully!) is that fire inside them that fights tooth and nail against your wishes will be one of their greatest assets as they move forward in the world.  I’d put money on them that they will be huge successes in anything they choose to be or do in this world.

I’m here to tell you that your kid, in all their feisty glory, is well on their way to being a strong, independent, amazing person.   A chip off the old block indeed, Mom.

children, family, humor, motherhood, parenting

(Toe)tal Commitment

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I have come to accept that I live in a different universe than that of my boys.  Even though our galaxies cross paths sometimes, mostly I am a lone planet wondering how I gave birth to two such incredibly competitive creatures.  We’ve always known that Full Speed was born a competitor.  T.Puzzle’s competitive streak has been a slow fire burning that lately has erupted into volcanic displays of passion and heart especially on the soccer field (his tantrums after a loss are a sight to behold). 

As with anything done to an excess, there can be a downside.  After fifteen pounding hours of soccer camp last week, regularly playing soccer in the cul-de-sac and three games of 3v3 soccer on Monday night, little T.Puzzle has developed an infected, ingrown toenail.  Now, I’ve never had one so I can’t say for sure how painful it is.  According to Mad Dog, ingrown toenails can cause shooting pains that will make you see stars.  And yet, T.Puzzle played on.  Even after our trip to the podiatrist and screams of fear and pain from him as the aggravating piece of toenail was cut away, he asked me if he could play soccer when we got home.

I do not understand.  Wouldn’t a normal kid at least want a day or two to rest his foot?  Or maybe play a sport that doesn’t involve kicking? 

At least he enjoys his daily foot soaking.  Maybe I’ll have someone to go to the spa with me after all.  That’s something I completely understand.

children, family, motherhood, parenting

Thanks, but No Thanks

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T.Puzzle had an excellent six month dental check-up.  Before we left for the dentist I kept reminding him that he needed to use his manners.  He goes to a great practice that takes him back alone.  Therefore, if I’m not with him reminding him every second about his manners, he has about a fifty percent success rate.

As we were leaving I asked him, “Did you remember your manners?”

“No, I forgot, Mom.  It was a long car ride over.”

children, family, motherhood, parenting

No Such Thing as Summer

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Full Speed’s version of relaxing on the beach.

The school year is almost over and summer vacation is right on our heels.  I am arming myself with positive self-talk (‘you can do it!’/ ‘they may steal your energy but never your soul!’ / ‘it really is five o’clock somewhere!’), signing the boys up for a myriad of day camps and activities and my personal favorite, good old-fashioned denial.

Ready or not, here summer vacation comes.

I have noticed that Full Speed has cranked up his hyperactivity quotient (I honestly didn’t know this was humanly possible) as his first grade year draws to a close.  I still find it hard to believe that he holds himself together in the classroom.  His teacher insists he is very well-behaved.  I imagine even the best behaved kids are prone to losing it as the excitement of summer fills the school.  I worried for his teacher because if he was acting this out of control at home, what would he be like at school?

“Full Speed, do I need to call your teacher?  Does she need to know you are way too hyper today?”  I ask.

He snaps to attention.  “No, Mom.  I know what self-control is.  Sometimes I really want to be hyper at school but then I just don’t.”  His serious expression told me he was telling the truth.

Guess he’s saving up all his hyperactivity for summer vacation and for me.

I have no response to this because in my mind, there is no summer.  It’s the only way I’ll survive until the fall.

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

My Dolphin Tale

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Our Memorial Day weekend started off innocently enough.  We made good time, the boys were on their best behavior and I was on my way to see Winter the dolphin.

Winter, the Dolphin with no tail in Clearwater...

Winter’s story had deeply inspired me and I was looking forward to seeing her in person.  Well, after over four hours in the car and the last hour stuck in heavy traffic, my dreams of seeing Winter slowly began to splinter.  Mad Dog powered through.  He pushed me through my cranky disappointment and ignored my snarky remarks as we rode the seemingly never-ending trolley to Winter’s aquarium.  We made it with an hour to closing (paying full fare of course!) and raced to find my dolphin.

It was love at first sight.  She is the sweetest, kindest soul and I could have contentedly sat and watched her for hours.  T.Puzzle and Full Speed took one look at her and turned promptly to Mad Dog, “Where are we going next?” they demanded to know.  While I watched Winter swim lazy little loops, Mad Dog ran at warp speed from one corner of the aquarium to the next trying his best to keep the boys entertained in the tiny space.

Overall the boys were champs and I got to spend time doing something that I really wanted on our weekend getaway (a rarity as a mother of super active boys).  All was redeemed when we headed to the beach that night and the boys tried mightily to chase away all the birds.

How does one peacefully coexist in a household where your kids seem to only want to attack the very wildlife you wish to quietly observe?  I’m not exactly sure.  I know I love my boys and I don’t ever want them to change who they are.  Sit quietly, yes.  Change?

Never.