Category: children

children, humor, kids, marriage, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

No and Yes

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One of the goals of parenthood is to teach your children to be independent.  In theory, the more they are able to do on their own, the more freedom it will give you.  However, sometimes in the process of teaching your two boys who don’t pay attention to details the art of loading the dishwasher, it can turn slightly calamitous.  Somehow water ends up everywhere but the sink and they will attempt to start a load for only two plates when I’m not looking.  This load is done without detergent of course.  In their defense, those two, lonely plates really did shine.

I try to be patient, I try to let some things slide…especially my feet in the watery abyss surrounding my dishwasher, and yet there are still daily tasks for the boys I haven’t allowed them to do.  

Over the weekend I went for a morning run leaving Mad Dog in charge.  When I came home, I asked if he had followed up on the parentally supervised tasks of the boys’ morning.

Did they get their vitamins?

No.

Did they get their glasses cleaned?

No.

Is their hair combed?

No.

Did T.Puzzle get his nasal spray?

No.

Finally in exasperation Full Speed declared, “Everything you are going to ask Daddy the answer is going to be no!”

Mad Dog didn’t miss a beat.  “That’s not true.  You have to ask the right questions.”  Then he went on to list all the questions he would easily be able to reply yes to.

Are the boys protected?

Do they have a roof over their head?

and, this one’s my favorite…

Do they have love?

Yes, yes and yes.

So, let’s ponder this for a moment.  To quote Full Speed (he gleaned this little gem from a movie), “Happy wife, happy life.  Unhappy wife, stone-cold misery.”

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Et Tu, T.Puzzle?

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I’ve dedicated previous posts to the personality dilemma of little T.Puzzle.  When he was in utero I prayed, pleaded and begged him to be less strong-willed than Full Speed before him.  Unfortunately, the kid has held his own in the stubborn arena and it seems to be getting worse.

As a whole, T.Puzzle has been more of an enigma to me.  Full Speed and his personality traits were easier to identify because he is almost a complete carbon copy of Mad Dog.  So, all I had to do was look to Mad Dog to help me understand what was making Full Speed tick.  Over time this has helped me tremendously.

T.Puzzle on the other hand has shown more signs of my personality.  He is more expressive, affectionate and can be extremely empathic.  He can even be downright adorable with his expressions of loving devotion. I thought maybe this would mean that some of my previous pleas to the cosmos had been answered.  While he certainly has his share of assertive independence, I hoped his sensitive side would balance it out or at least soften the edges a bit.

I am so, so very wrong.  T.Puzzle lately has been giving me and especially his teachers at school, a run for our money.   He is so much like Full Speed and Mad Dog it makes me want to cry just a little bit.  Granted, being assertive, confident and strong-willed will get you far in your adult life.  The downside is that your Mom may completely lose her mind in the process of getting you there.

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Dark Side of Valentine’s Day

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I am off my game.  You would think I would know better.  All I need to do to stay on top of things is periodically read old posts from this blog.

I couldn’t resist.  I gave the boys small-scale lightsabers with M&Ms inside the handle.  They are completely adorable, they light up and they came with candy.  They are a perfect little Valentine.

Do I even need to write what happened once the boys bounded downstairs and grasped the lightsabers in their hands?

I don’t.  You’re a smart bunch.  You saw this morning’s lightsaber death match between the boys coming a mile a way.  You could have warned me to get them anything else.   My enduring love for Han Solo and all things Star Wars clouded my judgment.

I have paid the price and like the dark side I do not.

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children, humor, motherhood, parenting

Rules Were Made to be Broken

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Yesterday a new love seat arrived for our family room.  It is very comfortable and has motorized foot rests.  Of course before Mad Dog and I could allow ourselves to enjoy it, our first priority was to set ground rules with the boys on how to treat this new piece of furniture.

1.  No jumping, fighting or standing on the love seat

2.  Do not play with the button for the footrests, this is not a new spaceship toy

3.  Sitting next to Mom is allowed but only if you can do so calmly and quietly (this usually lasts for about five minutes until I end up with a foot, yes, I said foot, in my eyeball)

Of course following these rules can be quiet a challenge.  I watched as T.Puzzle sat on the arm of our couch ready to launch himself at full force on the love seat.

“Whoa, hold on there, T.Puzzle.  Remember, no jumping allowed!” I said rather forcefully.

“I wasn’t going to jump, Mom.  I was going to swing.”

And with that, he grabbed the couch arm like a pommel horse and before I could stop him, swung his legs in a perfect arc landing squarely seated on the love seat.  It actually was quite athletic.  If I would have been watching these shenanigans in a different venue I may have been inclined to award him a bronze medal.

Looks like we’re back to the drawing board on our list of rules…

T.Puzzle as a baby swinging in the proper context
children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Free Time

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Today is doomsday.  This is my babysitter’s last day to help out during the week.  I told her to have a ‘free day’ with the boys (which full disclosure, she actually wanted very much).  That means she picked both boys up from school.  That means I have several hours of free time.  Let me repeat that, I have several hours of free time.  A friend asked me what I was going to do.  I didn’t have the foggiest idea.  Oh sure, I know how to kill a few hours with errands or the occasional  appointment.  Several hours, well, that’s a whole different league.  It’s a liberating feeling this free time to be spent alone.  It also is kind of sad that I had to think very hard about what to do with it.  This is what I came up with in no particular order: clothes shopping for myself (zero interruptions…it was divine), snack at Panera to do some writing including this blog post (I love, love, love to write) and to cap the night off, dinner with some girlfriends.

Who am I without my children to define my life or my time?  Turns out I’m exactly the same.  Same hair, same perspective and same joys and sorrows. The only difference is this quiet bubble that surrounds me wherever I go today.

I am certainly more of an observer of life than a participator.  I leave full on life participation to the hands of my boys.  Better enjoy the quiet while I can…