Category: children

Chicago Cubs, children, family, humor, motherhood

WFAM Wednesdays!!!

WFAM

First, before you delve into the wondrous writing I have created below, I want to share my intention to write a post a week for Writes for All Mommies.  I’m a little scared in all honesty, because now that I’ve written this intention and you’ve read the words, I actually have to do it.  So, welcome to WFAM Wednesdays!  I’m grateful you are here.  You rock!

Let the posting commence:

There are many points of light on the horizon of raising children which flit across your awareness and then are gone forever.  The first smile, those first steps, learning how to read, ride a bike…etc., etc.  It all goes by too fast and makes my heart ache with nostalgia.  However, once you are a grown-up, those sweet mile-stoney moments are all but extinct.  Somehow my first mammogram didn’t seem quite so awesome as all the cool things little humans have to master as they journey towards adulthood.  Truth be told, I thought most of my notable moments were behind me.

But then it happened.  By some strange sequence of events and circumstances, something unexpected occurred.

I got carded!

Yes, that’s right.

Carded.

A forty-three year old mom got carded at the grocery store!

I was so flummoxed when the cashier asked for my I.D., I started to act all weird and suspicious.  To be fair, I was in work-out gear (apparently working it!), had a baseball cap on (Go Cubs!) and the bespectacled cashier never really looked directly at my face.

But hey!  I’ll take it.

This felt so momentous because I am fairly certain this is the last time I will ever be carded in my lifetime.  How’s that for a milestone?  The first-last time you get carded.  It’s a thing now.  Well, a thing I made up but still.  It’s a thing.

Later, when I was cheerfully sharing my wonder over being carded with the boys, I was quickly brought back to reality.

Full Speed:  “So when someone cards you it means they think you aren’t twenty-one?!?  The cashier really thought that????”  (Poor guy looked so confused.)

T.Puzzle: “Bahahaha…..!”  (Basically he laughed to infinity as he rolled around in disbelief.  In fact, if you ran into him today, he’s probably still laughing.  So glad to be the light of humor in your life, Son.  I mean that.  Really.)

So, I was quickly put back in my place and humbled (horrified?).

Thankfully, this old girl loves her life and her disbelieving chuckle-y boys.

children, humor, motherhood

On Track for Stardom

WFAM

“I was doing a lot of thinking last night, Full Speed, and I came to the conclusion if we need to sell our house to subsidize your Olympic shot-put aspirations, I’m willing to do it.”

To qualify in the shot-put at a middle school track meet you have to reach a minimum of 30 feet.

Full Speed’s record is 16.

16!

I asked him point-blank, “Do they award points for style?”

Okay, so maybe not the shot-put.  How about the 4 x 800 he helped run?

Considering his team (which is categorized ‘B’ team for a reason) came in 12th out of 14, maybe this won’t be his event either.

However, they did lap a team.  Maybe there’s hope after all.

But wait, the team they lapped consisted of elementary school kids.

Looks like I just saved thousands of dollars in training fees.

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A young Full Speed realizing traveling by foot may be his least productive option.
bad day, children, motherhood, parenting

Mommed

WFAM

I was having a moment.  I had been cruising through the week and then, I wasn’t.  Mad Dog has been gone for over a week and won’t get back for a few more days.

I have no reason to complain.  My boys are older and they are about a thousand percent easier to manage compared to when they were small.  We also do lots of fun stuff together like special dinners out and movie marathons.  It isn’t perfect but it works.

However, we all miss Mad Dog and after a while, this feeling of missing him creeps over us and then it’s harder to be our best selves.

Yesterday, as I tried to order Full Speed’s track uniform (yay! He made the track team!  So what if all he had to do was show up, basically, he made the team at ‘hello’, still….he made the commitment to be on a team…woo-hoo!), I lost it.  Why? Part of it was that it was about my one-hundredth action item of the day, and the other part was that Full Speed is one of the hardest kids in the world to find clothes that fit properly.  I can’t explain it but he always seems to fall in between regular sizing.  I had stared at the computer screen completely flummoxed as to what size to purchase when I finally pulled the trigger.  As I printed out the receipt I realized after all that agonizing, I had ordered the wrong size!  Yes, in the grand scheme of life it is no big deal, but it felt really big right then and I started to cry.

Full Speed came over to me, put his arm around my shoulders and said:

“It’s okay, Mom.  Everyone makes mistakes.  I just appreciate you buying the uniform for me.  I know you miss, Dad, too.  Because you miss him that’s probably really why you are upset. I understand.”

I had to admit, the kid made some good points.

Then, it dawned on me…I got ‘mommed’.

He basically said every exact thing I would say to him if the tables were turned.

I’m grateful he had the empathy to comfort me.  Nice that some of what I say to him sticks.

Today was better.

Here I will share a photographic art installation which symbolizes how well I am managing.

Thankfully, Little Guy waived all modeling fees.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood

How Do You Spell Amazing?

WFAM

As a mom I wear many hats.  Personally, my favorite is a Cubs baseball cap, but here are a few others that I inhabit:

– Chinese leftover reheater

-Dog walker and trainer (the latter may be easily disproved in a court of law or more likely, upon meeting our wildly energetic adopted dog, let’s just say, girl gets by on her looks…a lot).

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-Extremely empathetic validator of the universe’s feelings

-Housekeeper

-Wife extraordinaire

-Friend, mother, writer, sister ….and the list goes on and on.

Now the hat that many don’t know about and that I keep a closely guarded secret is…

-Spelling bee prep consultant

I have a track record of helping one young man place second in the whole county….

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Cool trophy, right?

Anyway, given my illustrious track record, it only makes sense now that this young man’s  brother is going to compete at his school’s spelling bee, he would reach out to an elite spelling instructor such as myself.  So, that’s where we are at.  I am now helping T.Puzzle prepare for his grade school spelling bee.  Truly, the only special skills I am bringing to the table are the ability to read words from a list (out loud, no less!) and patience.  I don’t mind the sometimes repetitive process as long as my spelling padawan is focused.  So far, T.Puzzle has that in spades.  Here is a recent example of the elite-type of training that I offer.

Me: “Icelandic”

T.Puzzle: “I-C-E-L-A-N-D-I-C”

Me: “Correct” (as in, he is correct, not please spell correct, I think you get the idea, so let’s move on to a word in which more elite spelling instructing is needed for clarification)

Me: “Pesky”

T.Puzzle:  â€œUse it in a sentence, please.” (he didn’t really say please, I just added it in for my own creative spin as moms-who-love-manners are wont to do)

Me: “Little brothers are pesky to their older brothers.” (see what I did there?  I made it relatable to my subject…genius).

T.Puzzle:  â€œP-E-S-K-Y”

Me: “Correct”

Me: “Annoying”

T.Puzzle: “F-U-L-L  S-P-E-E-D”

Apparently, I have my work cut out for me.

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Good luck, T.Puzzle!

 

children, dogs, family, humor, motherhood

The Secret Plan

WFAM

I’m about to share with you a highly effective yet secret way you can stalk look-out for your seventh grader.  It’s so top-secret that if your name is Full Speed, you must immediately stop reading this and step away from this blog post.  I’m totally serious.  You do not have a high enough security level clearance, and more importantly, you would be on to me.  Walk away, Full Speed.  Walk away.

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Full Speed walking one of our highly-trained extremely adorable dogs

Part one of my secret plan is that you have to get a dog well in advance of your middle-schooler having to take the bus to school.  I’m talking maybe a decade or so in advance.  Trust me, this will help you seem credible when the chips are down.  After you have secured your status as a dog owner, you have to start walking them religiously to the point you become well-known in your neighborhood as the ‘dog lady’ which, let’s hope, references your dog ownership and NOT your appearance.  Anyway, you have to walk the same route day after day.  You must casually interact with all the middle schoolers who hang out at the bus stop at the end of your subdivision.  This part is actually pretty awesome because you get to bring some levity to their day and your dog will love the attention.  If you want to be extra sneaky, get TWO dogs.  I’m telling you, middle schoolers will love you for it.  The more fluffy appreciation they receive to start their day, the more you fit in under the radar.

Once you have this routine solidly on lock-down, then it seems completely normal for you to check-in on your own kid when the time arrives for him to join in the morning band of middle-schoolers.  Again, it’s awesome to have your dogs bring so much happiness especially now that your own kid is included in the bunch.  See?  Stealth stalking  supervision complete!

And, I will neither confirm or deny at this point because my plan is working so beautifully, but it’s possible my fluffy companions are robotic stunt dogs.

Whatever it takes.  Do whatever it takes.

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