children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Eye Am Lucky

Sometimes as parents we blaze the trail without even realizing it.  I now am in a position to offer my hard-earned kernels of wisdom to Moms facing tantrums or the newborn stage.  I always offer my advice only if asked with the caveat that never, ever ask me about potty training.   That is unless you want your kids to be miserable and really old before being toliet-trained, then I’m your girl.

When I started this blog, I didn’t know that I would reach the tiny percentage of other Moms facing the challenges of raising children diagnosed with ectopia lentis.  My family has come so far since the early days of uncertainty surrounding my boys vision, that sometimes I lose track of the fact that we are ectopia lentis survivors and thrivers.  For those of you who are new to this blog, ectopia lentis is a rare, genetic condition which both my boys have, that compromises the lens of the eye and can severely impair vision.  The road to great vision has been long for my boys and with patience and the help of an outstanding ophthalmologist, we came through the other side of this disorder relatively unscathed.  By virtue of my boys leading ‘normal’ lives, we are helping other Moms know that ectopia lentis is only a small part of who their child is.

I would not change a minute of our experience if it in any way would alter who my kids are.  All those tears I shed, all the nights of worry about their future and each and every eye surgery has been absolutely worth it.   If ectopia lentis means I get to have these two guys as my kids, then honestly, I am the luckiest Mom around.

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children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Word Play

DSC_8499Over the years I’ve grown accustomed to ‘reframing’ some of the difficult traits my boys possess.  They’re not stubborn, they’re tenacious.  Those aren’t tantrums, those are displays of competitive fire and passion.  It’s pretty obvious I can’t change who they are, so I might as well use creative vocabulary words to downplay their more challenging aspects.

This is all well and good but I’m at a point now that I’m ready for them to play something competitive without it seeming like a life or death situation.  It’s inevitable that anytime they play a sport with family or friends, one of my boys will storm off, argue or just plain give up.  I don’t get it.  When I was younger, I remember being able to play games with friends without completely losing my mind if I lost.  If I played a team sport, I often felt bad for the other team if we beat them.  My children are the complete opposite.  They both have a win-at-all-costs attitude.

Sometimes, managing their fierce attitudes about competition is enough to drive me nuts.  What I meant to say is enough to solidify my boundaries of sanity in a consciousness-expanding, patience-growing, sort of way.

children, dogs, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

2nd Place

By all accounts, everything is going great with my dog. We also welcomed her long-time shih tzu companion so we are now a family of six. Honestly, the most challenging aspect has been living up to the high level of admiration that both these dogs bestow on me.

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T.Puzzle seems to be doing good healthwise so I am cautiously hopeful we can keep the dogs permanently. I constantly remind T.Puzzle that if at any point, he doesn’t fare well, that it will be okay for the dogs to relocate again. He responds by saying, “I don’t mind if I sneeze, Mom. I really like having the dogs around.” .

Since I make over my dogs in a ridiculous fashion every, single day, I said to T.Puzzle, “Do you know who I love more than my dogs?”

“Who?” he asked.

“You, of course!”

“Mom, do you know what I love the most in the world?”

“What?”

“Soccer. I love it more than you. I love it so much I could play it every day!”

“Really? You love soccer more than me?”

“Yep, but Spaghettios comes in third.”

Ouch! It could have been worse though. If I hadn’t beaten out the canned noodles, I may have lost hope entirely.

T.Puzzle:  so adorable, so honest, so glad he's my kid
T.Puzzle: so adorable, so honest, so glad he’s my kid
children, family, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Our Time is Short

There was as time, not so long ago, that all I wanted for my birthday was a grown up day or night away from my boys. This wasn’t the case this year. We planned something kid-friendly and I had an absolute blast. I know, I was shocked, too.

On the actual day of my birthday when faced with the choice of eating at a dinosaur-themed restaurant or someplace calm and quiet, I actually chose the dinosaur-themed one. I wasn’t held at gunpoint or anything like that. Maybe it was because my birthday marked the passage of time or maybe I had a little heat stroke as it was incredibly hot at Downtown Disney, but I was happy to see my boys’ faces light up as the meteors rained down and the dinosaurs roared.

The next day, as I watched my boys run ahead to catch up with Mad Dog at Universal Studios, I really got it. My time with my boys is short. I can either spend these fleeting years reading quietly or, step outside my comfort zone and ride a Transformers ride in which I actually kind of feared for my life (please, don’t tell anyone).

This is my time to really enjoy the art of mothering. I’ve put in all the exhausting, hard years. I’ve been the captain of the No Fun Police for longer than I can remember. This is my time to trust that they will behave in public (mostly), that they will be highly entertaining to converse with (always) and that they still actually want to hang out with me. I’m sure being close personal friends with Bumblebee helps.

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children, family, gratitude, health, kids, motherhood

Love is Patient, Love is Kind

I’m actually kind of speechless. Since I am a writer what does that make me? Wordless?

I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that we were given the greenlight to have my dog come home. About two years before I started this blog, we had to relocate her because T.Puzzle wa allergic to her. It was heartbreaking to lose her but it was the right thing to do. He basically had a runny nose for the entire first year and half of his life. I knew as soon as the words ‘dog allergy’ left the doctor’s mouth, my dog had to go.

As the years have gone by, T.Puzzle’s health began to improve. His eczema vanished, he outgrew his egg allergy and he had less and less sick days at school. Recently, I had started to suspect that his dog allergy had diminished as well. For my own peace of mind I scheduled an allergy test. It showed a vast improvement in his dog allergy which means my little, white fluffy ball of love can come home!

She is not a perfect dog and certainly no longer a puppy. She is sometimes a dog only a ‘mother’ could love. It is also very possible T.Puzzle may not respond well to having her around. There are a lot of variables I have no control over.

What I can control is how much I love her. I plan to care for her for as long as I have her. I want to give back to her at least some of the unconditional love that she has given me. She sat with me every day while I had the worst morning sickness of my life during my pregnancy with Full Speed. She would snuggle up for the long haul when I had yet another pregnancy related migraine or vein infection in my legs (yes, it is miraculous I endeavored pregnancy twice). It was during that time that she taught me about loyalty, patience and love.

Her official return date is early next week. I still can’t believe she is coming home. The good news is, she never once has left my heart.

Newborn Full Speed is carefully watched over
Newborn Full Speed is carefully watched over
T.Puzzle gets a little love
Baby T.Puzzle gets some of that unconditional love