family – Page 9 – Writes for all Mommies

Greatest Hits (Happy Holidays 2015)

16/12/201517/12/2015 WFAM

I don’t know how you top going to the National Championship to see the Buckeyes win in 2015. It was a spontaneous January trip to Dallas that fortunately ended in a Buckeye victory. The whole of it was as special as the individual parts. For Mom, sharing it as a family was the icing on the cake. To read more, click here:

The Story of a girl and her Buckeye

Losing a loved one not only changes who you are, it sometimes changes your ability to enjoy the things you used to love. After losing my mom in 2009, I lost my passion for watching baseball. She was my partner in crime. Thankfully after years and years of healing, the time to return to baseball finally felt right. Thank you to the Cubs’ organization for making this season the best in ages. Thank you especially for beating the Cardinals in the NLDS. That pretty much sealed the fate of my boys’ allegiance forever. Seriously, thank you! To read more, click here:

The Story of a girl and her Buckeye (The Prequel)

Mad Dog and I recently celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. Our relationship has weathered life’s ups and downs and above all else, we have maintained an underlying friendship. He still makes me laugh more than anyone. He still is, in my opinion, ridiculously handsome which is also a plus. But, the reason I love him so very much is because he loves the real me. When I struggle with self-acceptance and doubt, he never judges. When I say things in frustrated despair like, “Why can’t I just be normal?” He responds with, “Full Speed isn’t ‘normal’, T.Puzzle isn’t ‘normal’ and I’m not ‘normal’. Just be you. Once you learn to be comfortable being you, things will fall into place.” A better response I could not imagine. Thank you, Mad Dog. To read more, click here:

True Love’s Cup

Parenting is hard. I’ve seen enough and learned enough that the only surety is your ability to accept whatever is in front of you. This year my boys finally no longer have to patch their eyes for amblyopia (lesser vision in one eye). This all started when Full Speed was twenty months old. He recently turned 11. That’s a long time in kid years. Again and again my boys and their vision challenges have taught me to accept what I can’t control. That is so hard to do, but eventually, it’s all that remains. To read more, click here:

Eye Am Thankful

I started this blog when my boys were little. I wrote it to cope. If you ever had a chance to be around them when they were small, you would understand that my coping skills were challenged relentlessly. Through the years we’ve all grown. They continue to evolve. I’m most grateful for the evolution of who-they-really-are. They have this core of intangible awesomeness. We all have it and sometimes the only person who can see it is your mother. I see it. They have it. And, they are awesome. Let me clarify, they are awesome but they are not perfect. They back talk and fight. They have a really hard time following directions, even super-detailed step-by-step directions. They took FOREVER to potty-train, ride their bikes and tie their shoes. Full Speed especially didn’t understand my distress over the shoe-tying. I mean, he would just pay someone to tie them for him once he made it to the NFL anyway, so what was the big deal? Life is too complicated to only focus on achievements (or lack thereof). Achievements are a dime a dozen. They come, they go and in the end, they aren’t really all that important. That core of awesomeness, it is there, even if your kid gets an ‘F’ on a test (true story, it happens). Instead, spend your time being present and consciously try to catch a glimpse of their awesomeness. When you do, it is the best feeling in the world. It is better than straight ‘As’, four hundred touchdowns or winning a spelling bee. It is Pure Love.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

family, humor, motherhood, parenting

Summer Memories 2015

09/08/2015 WFAM

This summer was the first time my boys ever played organized basketball. There was a part of me that really dreaded this. On some level, I knew my boys were going to have some challenges mastering the sport. I was absolutely right. They both quickly learned that remembering all the rules, dribbling while in motion and taking a shot with someone twice their size right in their face were all rather impossible. On a positive note, they both looked absolutely adorable in their uniforms. So, basically, they always have their looks to fall back on.

In all seriousness, I knew the season was going to be tough when the first team the boys played was adult-size and had been playing together for six years. I actually thought it could have been longer than six years as I was pretty sure I had seen their center driving his own car to the game (not really, but I did want to check his birth certificate to verify his supposed under 10 age). Needless to say, my boys are not so motivated to hoop it up anytime soon. Long live soccer!!

Over the course of summer, in between basketball practices and games, I got to spend a tremendous amount of time with my guys. For the most part, I found this time to be truly delightful. I enjoyed their humor, their company and their energy for life. It wasn’t all smooth. There were some classic moments such as these:

Full Speed and the Situation I took the dogs for a walk and instructed the boys to get themselves ready for soccer camp. Here is actual text communication sent from Full Speed, “Where are you? We have a situation with the Gatorade bottle.” Two minutes later I received this text, “The problem is I can’t open the Gatorade.” Thankfully, this ‘situation’ was quickly resolved but the text cracked me up for the rest of the day.
T.Puzzle’s Hug Aversion T. Puzzle hates it when I ask him to hug me. He acts as if he is being sentenced to death and tries all sorts of creative ways to get out of it. I told him to ask his brother how to handle it. Full Speed said, “When Mom wants a hug, just man-up and do it.” Still, to no avail. I eventually had to take a hard line with him and he will give me hugs but there is still a lot of resistance. So, it surprised me when he approached me for what seemed like a genuine unsolicited hug. “Wow, T.Puzzle, that was so nice.” He looked at me and said, “Dad told me to find you and said I had to hug you, so I did.” Okay, thanks?
Full Speed’s Independence When your ten year-old has ‘situations’ with Gatorade bottles, sometimes when you ponder the future, you wonder if he will be able to live independently. Full Speed was looking in the fridge and he couldn’t find something. “Mom, where is it? I can’t find it anywhere!” I walked over, opened the door and promptly found it in two seconds. I said in a rather exasperated tone, “I really am going to have to live with you when you are older, aren’t I?” He replied, “No, Mom, because I’m going to be the one who puts everything away so I will know where stuff is.” Touche’.
T.Puzzle’s Future Living Arrangements Since Full Speed has established in his mind that he will be living independently from his parents in the future, he has lots of ideas about how this will happen. He talks about possible occupations, where he wants to live and hopes I will take care of his dogs when he has to travel. When I ask T.Puzzle about the future he is often mute on the subject. Even though he is hug aversive, deep down, he really is attached to me and I think he can’t fathom living anywhere else than where he is right now. Full Speed’s solution is simple. T.Puzzle can live with him. Well, that’s all fine and good, but I’ve noticed Full Speed can be very particular in his ways. T.Puzzle is a little more free-flowing with life. “How are you going to live with your brother if he annoys you on a regular basis, Full Speed?” He answer was simple, “My house, my rules.”

THE END

family, humor, motherhood

The Growing Problem

23/06/201510/02/2018 WFAM

I know I have a weird denial about my boys growing bigger. Part of it is for the obvious ‘don’t-want-them-to-grow-up-too-fast’, the other part is I sincerely dislike taking them clothes shopping. Since we were at the pool this past week and my boys were in their very small, very short swim trunks, my denial of taking them shopping was starting to crumble. As I looked around, I realized that they were in the minority. And, come to think of it, they were about the only ones at basketball camp that didn’t have the standard, down-to-the-knee basketball shorts. I mean at one point the shorts they wore did fall to their knees, but no longer. Darn. Time to go shopping.

I wanted to make this outing as quick and painless as possible. Once we were at Target, I grabbed a bunch of clothes in various sizes and we headed to the dressing rooms. Something about the dressing rooms, maybe the small space, the awkward corners and unstable walls, makes my boys go crazy. I think it’s what I refer to as their ‘pretend sense of control’. Mad Dog has this. When he is asked to do something he doesn’t want to do, he then tries to push my buttons about a series of unrelated topics. Eventually, he does what is asked, but it certainly comes at a cost to my own mental sanity. I believe this is what the boys were doing. They started to act crazy to let me know that they were NOT happy to be trying on all these clothes.

However, instead of me completely losing it, I actually kind of found it funny. Not entirely so, but a little. I laughed when Full Speed tried on the way-too-big pair of shorts, and when he said he needed a ‘schmedium’ (a size between a small and medium). When T.Puzzle begin to army crawl between the stalls, thankfully, we were the only ones there, I didn’t yell or tell him he had to stop. I let him army crawl away. I figured at least he wasn’t complaining and it gave me time to sort through the remaining sizes and clothes.

Then it hit me. I need to stop having these impossible expectations about shopping with my boys. They are going to be crazy. They are going to hate it. And, maybe, if I stop being so serious about it, we can laugh a little and maybe leave the store with a little bit of dignity intact…. or not…..

im1.shutterfly — Where’s a schmedium when you need it?

children, family, motherhood

The Living, Breathing, Walking, Talking Contradiction

30/04/201530/04/2015 WFAM

T.Puzzle brought home an assignment. He needed to read an article, write three facts he learned and give his opinion about the content. I thought it was an ambitious task and asked him how he felt about it.

“I think it will be easy except I don’t really remember what an opinion is,” he replied.

“That’s ironic since you are full of them,” I said as I went on to describe what it means.

That’s T.Puzzle for you. Full of honest feedback all of the time, whether you want to hear it or not. Most of the time not, but even in the moments when he is shockingly honest, I admire his ability to speak his mind.

For example, in our house, if a parent asks you to do something, you are expected to do it the first time. T.Puzzle has yet to master this.

“T.Puzzle, please take the dogs out,” Mad Dog asks.

“I thought the dogs were YOUR dogs,” is his reply.

He says stuff like this all the time. The words roll right out of him with no thought of impact or consequence.

He is a wonder to me. When it comes to sports, he is such a passionate competitor, that he is often yelling at his teammates (he even gave his coach a talking to after letting the opposition score in a practice scrimmage!) or stomping out of the backyard as not enough plays fall his way playing football with his brother.

On the flip-side of this often impertinent, highly competitive young man, lies this ginormous well of empathy. You have to watch him closely and for days at time to catch glimpses of it, but when you find it, it’s spectacular. While he likes to see others fail at something finding it hilarious, if he thinks someone is being hurt, it deeply touches him. Whenever we watch a movie where it seems as if someone is being injured, he needs to sit by me and we have to talk through in detail how it is all make-believe. Recently, on a trip home with Mad Dog and Full Speed, there was a very bad traffic accident. Having seen the smashed up cars knowing people had been in them made T.Puzzle quiet for a long time after.

In the mornings, on the days Full Speed works out with Mad Dog, T.Puzzle and I sit in silence. We seem to be on the same wavelength. In this perfect silence I sense the totality of him. He is one-third Mad Dog, one-third me and one-third of something else entirely.

How will this wonderful mash-up of a personality unfold?

I have no earthly idea, but am so grateful to be a part of it however it turns out.

One minute frustrated over losing a game…

Snuggling with our dog in the next…

children, family, gratitude, motherhood, Ohio State Football

The Story of a girl and her Buckeye

19/01/2015 WFAM

This is the story of a midwestern girl. She grew up in a rural town and never thought much beyond the outskirts of the farmlands that surrounded her. On a whim post-graduate school, she moved to Chicago. There, she met a Northwestern matriculating Buckeye. She didn’t think much of football but she did think much of the Buckeye. Quickly, she fell in love. Not so quickly, he did too.

Their romance wasn’t always a fairytale. No matter, the girl followed her heart again and again. On her convoluted path to finding everlasting love with this most handsomest of Buckeyes, she journeyed to Arizona with him to her first Ohio State National Championship game. As fate would have it, they won in a spectacular double overtime fashion.

January 3, 2002 Final Score: Buckeyes 31, Hurricanes 24 (the girl still has the sweatshirt which she stole from her Buckeye) — January 3, 2002
Final Score: Buckeyes 31, Hurricanes 24
(the girl still has the sweatshirt which she stole from her Buckeye)

This prompted the Buckeye to believe in miracles.

He got over himself finally and proposed to the girl.

She said yes.

She married her Buckeye at Disney World that same year.

She didn’t even mind when Mickey had to show some Buckeye spirit. I mean, she was finally married after all. She was in a generous mood.

O-H-I-O

Two, awesome little Buckeyes soon followed. Understanding that her Beloved bled scarlet and gray, the girl agreed to raise their family strictly Buckeye.

the girl, her Buckeye and their first baby Buckeye

Two more National Championships followed. The girl didn’t attend either as she had her little Buckeyes to care for and tickets for such events are a rarity. Both of these ended in heartbreaking losses. Her Buckeye made it to both of these. He likes to pretend he never went as both games stir painful memories for him.

Flash forward to present day and the Buckeyes had done it again. They were ready to take on the Oregon Ducks for the National Title. The girl hoped and prayed that somehow her Buckeye would get to go.

The Wednesday before the game the Buckeye called the girl.

“Are you sitting down?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“We have four tickets to the game.”

“What! FOUR?”

And, that’s when this story starts getting really, really good.

The Buckeye and the girl packed up their little Buckeyes and hit the road. So what if it was 30 hours round trip? This was the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP.

As the weekend unfolded, the anxiety of the pending game was almost too much for the girl to take. She tried to keep her focus on being grateful to spend this adventure with her 3 favorite boys regardless of the game’s outcome. It wasn’t always easy.

Finally, game day arrived. As this little family made their way into the enormous stadium, nerves were at an all-time high. There were Buckeyes EVERYWHERE. It was like they were attending a home game at the ‘Shoe. The band was impeccable, the crowd was electric, the jumbotron was massive,â€¦.it was AWESOME.

As the game commenced and the Ducks methodically marched down the field and scored on their first possession, the littlest Buckeye burst into tears. As the waterworks flowed, his heart lost its ability to believe in a Buckeye victory.

The Buckeyes quickly answered and spirits were lifted instantly but remained precarious until solidly into the second half.

As the fourth quarter began to dwindle, the girl couldn’t believe that she was there. That the Buckeyes were going to win. Her Buckeye was joyous. Her little Buckeyes rejoiced. The whole stadium erupted as the final seconds ticked away.

She was there.

With them.

Celebrating a victory.

Wow.

A once in a lifetime moment.

And, yes, she’d marry her Buckeye all over again.

See you next year!

THE END