children, family, gratitude, kids, motherhood, parenting

Change Your Mind, Not Yourself (Happy Mother’s Day)

I recently was scrolling through a woman’s magazine on my iPad.  I quickly became discouraged as page after page advertised or extolled all the ways I needed to improve my external appearance.   It seems I have too many spots, wrinkles and imperfections to be considered truly beautiful by this magazine’s stringent and impossible standards.  I started to get really mad.  Mad at myself for all my flaws and mad at this magazine for pressuring me to be perfect.  Eventually I realized that I couldn’t really be mad at the magazine.  It is only perpetuating the insane ideals we as a whole have bought into.  What really, can any of us do about it?  We are helpless to the passage of time and the changes our faces and bodies will inevitably go through.  No amount of cream, lotion or potion will stop this.

Since I can’t change society or the external pressures we face, all I can do is change my mind about my own standard of beauty.  I started to think about the people in my life that were and are beautiful to me.  First and foremost, there was my Mom.  While she was living, she was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever had the honor of knowing.  She had the lightest blue eyes that always hinted at the wry humor hidden within them and she had this megawatt smile that could light up a room.  Hmmm,… she wasn’t a supermodel and she still did age through the years yet she was gorgeous to me.

My Beautiful Mom
My Beautiful Mom

On this Mother’s Day, I would like us all to entertain the possibility that maybe how we look on the outside has nothing to do with real beauty.  Let’s try to honor ourselves by how we love instead of how we look.

My wish for today is that when my boys look back at this time in our lives, they will recall a Mom who loved as much as she was loved and above all else, was perfectly beautiful just as she was.

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children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

It’s Write in the Genes

82SSW8CAJEIDU9CAFIGB68CA34USVPCAKFQ3XJCA545AKNCA5C2DJ4CAH9UTODCABW1M93CA45DJ67CAWF0EKWCAQ9CDW0CA6BNTUPCABL982DCACTHT22CA7G2FADCAA23NBCCAJE6CRKCABK50VNCA4X11CYWhen Full Speed started kindergarten within the first two weeks his teacher pulled me aside.  She was sincerely concerned about his fine motor skills and wondered if his vision was impacting his abilities to print (it wasn’t, his handwriting was just that bad).  Naturally I responded in the only way I knew how.  I teared up, went home and called everyone I knew to whine and complain about this horrible injustice.  Yeah, my denial phase about Full Speed’s printing was pretty short-lived.  Once I got over myself, I set my overachiever self on a mission to make him the best 5-year-old printer in America.  Let’s just say, I had mixed results and it tested my relationship with him in not the best of ways.  Ultimately, what I realized is would I rather have a super awesome kid like Full Speed, or a regular kid that is a super awesome printer?  Hands down, I would choose Full Speed every single time.

Full Speed is now an energetic third grader.  His handwriting is still questionable at best, but he lives with such joy and enthusiasm, I don’t really mind.  For instance, he had his first brush with standardized state testing and handled it like a rock star.  He was calm, cool and confident.  Thank goodness he didn’t inherit my anxiety genes (but I can print like nobody’s business!).  To help prepare the class for the Big Test, his teacher requested parents send in encouraging handwritten notes.  I assigned day two of the test to Mad Dog.  He wrote a great little note about how Full Speed was growing into a fine young man and that he was an excellent big brother.  While Full Speed’s teacher appreciated Mad Dog’s note, she had an interesting take on it.  She told Full Speed she now understood where he inherited his handwriting skills.  According to what she read from the note, Full Speed was not an excellent big brother, but rather a big bother.

Interestingly enough, if you ask T.Puzzle he confirms this.

 

 

 

 

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Good Deal

ry=400-9I was attempting to access an app on Full Speed’s electronic device. In theory, I understood what needed to be done. All I had to do was go to the App Store and find it under the already purchased category. As I tried to execute the theory, I came to a standstill. As I gazed at the glowing face of the iPad, I was frozen with indecision. Where was the app I wanted? Why couldn’t I find the purchased section? Where had my dignity gone? Full Speed, who could see that dear old Mom was struggling, hopped up, came to my aid and in about two seconds flat, found exactly what I needed. He did it in a way that you would patiently help a toddler. This was rather humbling at 8am in the morning.

“Full Speed, are you going to take care of me when I’m old?”

T.Puzzle who didn’t miss a beat chimed in, “Yeah, probably not, Mom.”

Full Speed had a different approach. “Sure, Mom. I’ll take care of you as long as you take care of my dogs.”

Deal. Obviously this technologically challenged Mom can’t afford to be choosy.

children, family, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Reality Check

photo-17Mad Dog and I have returned from our annual kid-free cruise.  We were blessed with good weather, great company and outstanding service and food.  It felt good to get away, but I missed my boys.  We were away from them for four nights.  When we picked them up from school, it was clear that they were happy to see us.  I even got a genuine hug from Full Speed.  If any of you have a third grader like him that willingly gives you a public hug on school grounds, you know how special it is.

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law had volunteered to watch them for us while we were away.  It worked out well because they live right down the street and my nephew goes to the boys’ school.  When I picked up their bags and asked how it went, I was a little taken aback at what I heard.  Apparently, they didn’t really seem to miss me, they didn’t hardly speak my name and they had a great time while we were gone.  Can you imagine?  How is this possible?  You mean their life doesn’t stop if I’m not in it?

Well, I’m going to do the only rational thing I can do for next year’s cruise.  I’m going to have to take them with me.

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Parenting 101

The brainwashing for Steelers fandom starts early with Full Speed
Full Speed's on board, or is he?
Full Speed’s on board, or is he?
Little T.Puzzle mulls over being a Steelers fan...
Little T.Puzzle mulls over being a Steelers fan…
It's obvious he's having some serious second thoughts...
It’s obvious he’s having some serious second thoughts…

“I don’t understand why the boys are excited to watch every NFL team in the play-offs but I can’t ever get them to watch a Steelers game from start to finish,” lamented Mad Dog.

This was my matter-of-fact response, “That’s because you WANT them to watch the Steelers.  Haven’t you learned?  If you tell any boy (Mad Dog included) in this household you WANT them to do something, they will find every excuse not to do it.  If you want the boys to do something, it has to appear to be their own idea.   Otherwise?  You don’t stand a chance.”

There’s a fine line between parenting effectively and downright psychological warfare.  I say, if it gets your kids to eat their vegetables, it’s legit.