Category: gratitude

gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Beach Football

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Mad Dog travelled this week so it was just me and the boys.  As the boys are older, these stretches of time without Mad Dog are easier and easier.  It has gotten so much easier that sometimes, I even manage to have fun with the boys.  This concept of fun as I am lone-parenting was inconceivable a couple of years ago.  I am so thankful for how far we’ve grown as a family.

That’s not to say that my authority isn’t tested, my patience isn’t tried and brothers don’t try to maul each other.  Maybe I’ve grown immune to some of the craziness and have accepted that if my boys are awake, peace and calm have most likely left the building.  It also helps when one or both of them say something so cute, it immediately erases any frustration from my memory stores.

As I was supervising evening showers, Full Speed shared his thoughts.  “Mom, I know you really want a beach condo.  I am going to try my best to find a way to help Dad get you that condo.  How do you think I could do that?”

First of all, if you know me at all, I dream about living near the ocean on a daily basis.  For that to register with my 8-year-old felt like reward enough.  Secondly, a beach condo seems inconsequential to my happiness if my kid grows up to be as thoughtful and caring as he was in this moment.

“Full Speed, that is so nice of you to offer to help me and your Dad out, but don’t you worry, we’ve got that covered.  All I want is for you to be happy and do something you really love when you grow up.”

He thought about what I said for a moment and then continued, “Well, maybe I could play football.  Some players get a million dollars a game.  If I play five games, that’s five million dollars and that could really help out.”

Sounds like a win-win, doesn’t it?

Even at age two, Full Speed knew he loved football
Even at age two, Full Speed knew he loved football
children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, marriage, motherhood, parenting

Cruise (Part 6)

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Mad Dog and me enjoying our time together.
Mad Dog and me

When you are a stay-at-home parent it is hard to put into words what it feels like to be away from your kids for four whole nights.  Our annual cruise without kids is something I look forward to all year-long.  Having to only worry about myself is liberating.  Being able to walk into art-filled stores and not worry about someone breaking something is a revelation.  Sitting at a leisurely meal enjoying a glass of wine (or several) and not having to cajole table manners out of my boys is amazing.  It’s nice to be at a table of adults who realize knives are for butter or meat, not for stabbing your brother in the face.  This time away helps me remember that I am more than somebody’s Mom.  It reminds me that I was a whole and interesting person before kids and it’s comforting to know I can be that again.

Our kids are not ours to hold onto forever.  The second they are given to us is the same instant we must begin to let them go.  It’s up to us to keep hold of ourselves and be who we are throughout this process.  Time away from them is a great way to do this.  It’s also great because when you return, you realize you were missed.  You realize that even boys who seem to need so little except their determination to make it in the world, do in fact still need their Mom.  Even T.Puzzle, my recently turned affection-resistant kid, easily gave up a hug or two upon my return.  Those hugs were some of the best hugs I’ve had in a long time.

It’s good to be home!

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, marriage, motherhood, parenting

The Year in Review (Happy New Year!)

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T.Puzzle transitioned from Pre-K to the big dance this year.  While he flourished in kindergarten in many ways, his attitude towards me has shifted dramatically.  I went from being his ‘best friend forever’ to… not. Trust me, my ego was ill-prepared for the loss of my little ‘Mommy’s boy’.  It helps when I think about what growing up is like for him.  He must get awfully tired of being told what to do every second of the day and he lets me know it, too.  It’s okay.  I’m a tough cookie.  I can take it.  No matter what he tells you, he’s always going to be my ‘baby’.

Full Speed continues to fulfill is pre-ordained destiny of being Mad Dog’s clone.  His mannerisms, his physical attributes as well as his attitudes about life and sports are all a spot-on mimicry of Mad Dog.  Thankfully, Full Speed couldn’t have a better role model.  Well, it might be nice to tone down that competitive streak but let’s be real, that isn’t going to happen.  All I can do is sit back and watch history repeat itself.

Mad Dog is painstakingly building a soccer empire right here in our cul-de-sac.  His intense coaching sessions even pushed me to win most improved at this year’s family soccer classic.  Trust me, after playing against Mad Dog, I know how to bring the hurt.  Even on the days when he scores a million goals on me, and those days do happen, Mad Dog remains my biggest supporter.  He trusts me to always give my best no matter what I do (soccer and otherwise).  This helps me to trust in myself.

As for me, first I want to share a blog secret with you my dear, faithful readers.  You may think that I have the most photogenic children on the planet.  This is simply untrue.  The key to my photographic success is that I average about a thousand pictures for every one, hidden gem that I post.

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See what I mean?

The other part I want to share with you is this year I pushed myself to face my fear of horses and have taken some riding lessons.  The first time my horse cantered, I about passed out from fright.  I held onto the saddle horn as if my life depended on it (I guess technically it did).

I’m slowly learning that fear cannot stop us.  We are the ones who stop ourselves. I hope by facing my own fears, I can help my boys be fearless.  I have a feeling these guys are well on their way.

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For me riding horses is a lot like motherhood.  It’s unpredictable, frightening, joyful, exhilarating and absolutely the ride of a lifetime.

Look out 2013! We are coming for you!

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood

Thankfulness is the Game (Happy Thanksgiving!)

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I am thankful for each and every one of you that takes time to follow my little blog.  Whether you are inclined to so because we are related, because you are my friend or because we share a similar experience in life, motherhood or otherwise, I am thankful for you.  I am thankful for a husband who accepts me as I am, on good days and on bad ones, too.  I am thankful for my boys who continue to amaze me.  Sometimes this aforementioned amazement borders on mind-numbing frustration depending on the day you ask me.  Most days are awesome and some days are not and should never be mentioned again (blogging about them is the exception of course!).

I don’t know if this motherhood thing is going to get easier.  I have a sneaking suspicion that in some ways it will and in others, it will only increase in complexity.

I’m game if you are.

What do these guys have in store for me next?
children, gratitude, loss of parent, motherhood, parenting

Fill the Bucket

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My Mom and me. I owe her all the beauty, humor and light in my life. The rest doesn’t matter because she showed me what love means. Even if you make a mistake or don’t succeed, if you have love in your life, you have everything you need.

Moms don’t really get the credit they deserve.  There isn’t actually any quantifiable way to say we are successfully raising our kids.  How much are we, as Moms, responsible for the successes and the failures of our kids?  At what point do we stop shaping our children’s outcomes and allow them to take personal responsibility for themselves and their own actions?  Even into adulthood, are Moms responsible when a grown child isn’t reaching their full potential?

I don’t have the answers.  I do know that motherhood can be extremely rewarding but mostly on an intrinsic level.  Sure, we have Mother’s Day but in general, our hard work and dedication is rarely recognized on an external level.  This really isn’t such a bad thing.  I believe life is about being your personal best and if the world sees it, great, and if it doesn’t, that’s okay, too.  All that really matters is how you, and you alone feel about the way you are living your life.  It also helps if on occasion, your kid says or does something that warms your heart.

Full Speed explained to me that he learned about ‘filling other people’s buckets’ at school.  Essentially, by acknowledging others, you ‘fill their bucket’ with kindness and appreciation.  He took these words to heart.  He told me as he walked over to meet me, that he shared with the crossing guard that he was a ‘really good crossing guard’.  Full Speed also plans to tell the lunch ladies on Monday that they are doing ‘a really great job.’

I may not get trophies or a big paycheck honoring the work I do as a mother, but after I listened to Full Speed I thought, “Wow, maybe I had a little something to do with the making of this remarkable kid.”

My bucket is full.