Category: kids

kids

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Homework’s Hidden Obstacles

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I had one of those afternoons.  There was so much to be done and I needed to get dinner ready.  As I went through the boys’ school folders, I felt a little overwhelmed by the avalanche of fundraising packets, field trip forms, supplies needed for classroom events and homework.  Soon, I gave up and delegated Full Speed to overlook T.Puzzle’s worksheets while I headed to the kitchen.

Here’s the thing, if I am going to be productive, it is extremely helpful if I’m not interrupted with a question every other second.  I thought if Full Speed could field T.Puzzle’s questions, I’d be home-free.  I underestimated their ability to create scenarios that required them to ask me questions.  After about the fifth question (mind you, none of them so far were even homework related), I declared the kitchen a question-free zone.  They fell silent in the other room so I erroneously thought they had figured things out.  In the distracted back part of my mind, I began to glean bits of nervous conversation coming from our homework station in the dining room.  Eventually, Full Speed dared to cross the threshold into the question-free zone.  He looked like he was about to walk the plank.

“Mom, I know we are NOT supposed to ask you anymore questions but something really strange has happened in T.Puzzle’s homework folder.  He only has last week’s assignments and there aren’t any new ones for him to do.  What are we suppose to do?”

I was holding a spatula in my hand.  Full Speed was lucky a spatula has no sharp edges.  I sighed that exasperated Mom-sigh we Moms all have perfected, and marched indignantly to the dining room table.  Clearly visible was T.Puzzle’s packet of new worksheets.  Yep, I had brilliantly hidden his homework on the table in front of where he normally sits.

Imagine if I actually had put some time and effort into hiding them.  Poor kid wouldn’t make it out of kindergarten.

children, family, kids, motherhood, parenting

End of an Era

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Okay.  I understand some kids don’t like to be cuddly.  Even as an infant, it was clear as day, Full Speed didn’t have time to sit still and snuggle.  My Mom even commented that the only way Full Speed would cuddle, was if he didn’t feel well.

T.Puzzle was a refreshing change.  He loved to be held, love to give and receive smooches and generally, enjoyed hugging everyone as much as possible.

That is until he started kindergarten.  Gone are the days of smooching me spontaneously.  There are no more moments of snuggle time in the mornings before we start our day.

I’ll admit, this has been a difficult transition for an emotionally expressive person like myself, but I can respect it.  What I can’t handle is the defiant attitude that has gone along with it.

This morning I had a sit down discussion with him.  He eventually articulated that he doesn’t like to snuggle anymore (sigh).  We have set new ground rules and I will not pester him to cuddle, but in return, he must receive an occasional hug and smooch from me in a gracious manner.

He agreed.

How is it my boys keep easily moving towards independence without my permission?

Then again, when have they ever asked my permission to do anything?

children, family, health, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Tell Him Something He Doesn’t Know

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Today Full Speed had an evaluation by an allergist.  I have suspected that he may have some seasonal issues and frankly, if he has my DNA, odds are he might be allergic to something.  Fire ants, anyone?

He was quiet as we waited for the nurse to perform his skin tests.  He did not enjoy the process.  He writhed about and complained vociferously as over 50 scratches of allergens were placed up and down the length of his back.  Then, all we had to do was wait fifteen minutes for the results.  He questioned me emphatically as to why this craziness had to be done, and I said so we could better understand how to treat him when he is sneezy.

“Once the doctor returns, he’s going to ‘read’ the marks on your back and let us know if you’re allergic to anything,” I explained.

“I already know, Mom.  I’m allergic to needles,” he said.  At this point he was ready to pack it up and be on his way.

Good point.

Miraculously, despite his direct genetic link to me, he was allergic to absolutely nothing (switched at birth?).  Well, not including the needles.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

How to Send Your Brother to His Room without Really Trying

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While I was reading a chapter book out loud yesterday, I had both boys planted firmly on either side of me (the separation of brothers is crucial).  T.Puzzle, in an apparent act of affection, draped his arm casually around my neck.  Before I knew what was happening, he began to fiddle with his brother’s face and then it was war.  I stopped mid-sentence and calmly explained that this outburst of violence was unacceptable.  The next person who touched their brother was going to their room.

T.Puzzle seemed resigned to this and kept his arm resting lightly on my neck.  I could feel by the posture of his body, he wasn’t planning on another attack.  As for Full Speed, he dramatically leaned back against the couch and hooked his arms behind his head.  The arm that was closest to T.Puzzle, arched out in a ridiculous angle (he looked like a cross between a monkey and an Olympic gymnast).  He furrowed his brow in concentration and waited for an inevitable flicker of movement from his brother’s hand.  My theory is then he could play victim and cry out indignantly hoping to send T.Puzzle to his room (don’t you just love brotherly love?).

That was it.  I lost it.  Fortunately for everyone involved, I dissolved into a fit of laughter.  If nothing else, Full Speed gets high marks for creativity.

We never did finish the chapter.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Moms Like Me Want to Know

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I had lunch with T.Puzzle this week at school.  I wasn’t able last week because I was under the weather.  That fact that I had to skip out on him didn’t phase him one bit.  He told me that ‘he wasn’t going to miss me at all’ and proceeded to apparently have a perfectly wonderful lunch without me.  His indifferent attitude had me questioning scheduling a lunch with either of my boys. Was it possible that only I benefitted from this weekly check-in?   After further investigation, T.Puzzle admitted that yes, he would still like to have Mom come for lunch but he is okay if for some reason I can’t make it.  I didn’t wait for him to change his mind and told him I would seem him soon.

As I sat at the parents’  table with him, his teacher stopped by and graciously thanked me for my emails.  She said that she appreciated staying in touch.  What she doesn’t know is that for every one email I send her, I’d actually like to send about a thousand more.  I wish she would live tweet or video stream every significant move T.Puzzle makes.  If T.Puzzle learned something, she should let me know as quickly as possible.  If he gets out of line, if he exhibits outstanding behavior (we all have dreams, don’t we?), if he says something cute or funny…basically, if he does anything at all, I want to know about it.  Same goes for Full Speed and his teacher, too.

Instead, I constantly coach myself to leave my kids and their teachers alone.  I fill my time in other ways while always holding images of what I picture my boys doing at school (I tend to picture them doing only amazing stuff, it’s much more fun that way), and that has to be enough.  It doesn’t feel like enough, but it has to be.