Category: kids

kids

children, humor, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

The Next Level

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Among close friends and family I am considered a bit of a drill sergeant when it comes to discipline. My decisions on structure and punishment are based on the temperaments of my boys.  They are extremely assertive, directive, confident and obstinately stubborn.  If I don’t establish my role as an authority figure now, where will I be in five years?  How about ten?

Betty Ford Center, anyone?

Disciplining is not fun.  A lot of the rules I make are very unpopular.

For the most part my diligence to rules and consequences has paid off.  It’s been exhausting and even harrowing at times, but it seems to have set a good foundation for my boys.

I need to take it to the next level.  Full Speed and T.Puzzle follow rules fairly well.  It’s their respect of authority that needs some tweaking.  They apparently did not get them memo that they are children. Therefore other adults, including myself, are not their peers.

To achieve a stronger sense of authority with my boys I put some new rules in place.

They are pretty simple really.  If Full Speed gives me what we refer to as a ‘stinky face’ he goes to bed before little T.Puzzle.

 

Stinky Face in the house!

 

If little T.Puzzle tells me ‘no!’ to any of my requests throughout the day, he loses the privilege of wearing his beloved crocs for a day.

The real kickers are my rules about sibling expectations.  Anyone who comes to me to complain or report of a fight gets sent to their room, as well as their brother,  for five minutes.  It doesn’t matter who starts it, who does what or who tells on whom.  Both boys are sent off with no trial and no questions.  If this happens three times in one day they lose their privilege of a show and and a treat.

Let me tell you, Full Speed is not happy.  He has already informed me that my new rules are ‘too hard!’ and ‘that he doesn’t want to be in this family anymore’.

One of the most challenging tenets of motherhood is to learn that it’s not my job to make my kids happy.  It’s to make them be responsible for themselves and their actions.

Wish me luck!  Now that I’ve publicly posted this for all two of you to read, I guess I have to stick to my guns.  Anyone happen to have that Betty Ford number on hand by the way?

 

Rules are hard. First time-out of the day for a sibling infraction. It was only 7 a.m.

 

 

Full Speed rejoices in this a.m. time-out.

 

children, grief, kids, life in pictures, loss of parent, marriage, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery

Love & Birthdays

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Happy 6th birthday, Full Speed!

 

I am having many mixed feelings about Full Speed’s sixth birthday today.  I am excited for him and happy his remarkable growth and change are being marked in such a celebratory way.  The challenge is not having my Mom here to help me celebrate or to share in all the wonderful milestones Full Speed has achieved in the past year.

It was hard enough that she wasn’t here to offer support and guidance when he started kindergarten.  Now, with each passing year, Full Speed is growing into who he is meant to be and she won’t be able to see it.   I wish she could because this kid is only getting better with age.

As the distance grows from the last point in which my Mom was in my life, it is ever more shocking to my system that she really isn’t coming back.

I’d also like to apologize to Mad Dog for my extra crazy, unpredictible moods as of late.  I am in the last stages of processing my Mom’s absence and while I will never fully let her go, I will move forward in a more even-handed manner.  I promise.

All I can do is my absolute best.  I will celebrate the good times in my present and honor the sadness as it floats up from my past.

I am grateful for the time that I had with my Mom.  I believe the joy I have managed to create in my own little corner of the world is possible through her choices and example.   I watched and I learned.  I made some different choices of my own.  Most importantly, I was loved.

Thanks, Mom.

children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Silly Me

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T.Puzzle’s hair is in a slightly awkward state.  A few millimeters of growth and it will improve dramatically.  Or, you could go Mad Dog’s preferred route and shave it all off again.  I decided to wait it out.

Since it was picture day at T.Puzzle’s school I had to take matters into my own hands.  I agonizingly shellacked his hair into place.  By the time school drop-off rolled around, his hair started to fuzz back into its original shape.  It wasn’t great but I smoothed it down best I could, fretted that it wouldn’t be picture-perfect and went on my way.

Not an hour later the school calls to tell us there was an ‘incident’.  T.Puzzle ran smack dab into a door, hit his head and was minorly injured.  However, a line had formed on his forehead in the precise spot his head connected with the door.  I was told it was red and puffy, too.  This happened right before pictures of course.

Silly me.  And I was worried his hair would be mussed.

 

Thankfully, by day's end, the injury had faded significantly.

 

children, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery

King of Love

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Just when you think you are out of the woods, reality will come back and smack you in the face.  I like to believe that the physical/hands-on part of raising my boys is getting easier.  And it is.  Yet there are still moments when I look into the eyes of my offspring and all I see is a never-ending pool of need.

I had picked up T.Puzzle midday from school.  He needed his booster shot for the flu vaccine.  We were miraculously in and out of the doctor’s office in ten minutes flat (no lie!).   We had time to kill until we picked up Full Speed from kindergarten.  We headed to the park.

T.Puzzle was doing great, climbing everywhere and tumbling down the slides.  I was enjoying myself reveling in the freedom of being able to step back and watch him.   Suddenly he runs towards me holding his bottom.

Uh oh.  The holding of the bottom is never a good sign.

“I needa use the bathroom!” he exclaims.

Of course he does.  Of course we are at a park with no operational toilet facilities.  Of course. Of course.

I grab him and sprint to the car, he’s miffed at me because he is leaving the fun.  I get him strapped in as quickly as possible and hightail it to a nearby Burger King.  We race to the bathroom and make it in the nick of time.

While in the stall I have a moment where I feel the frustration rise.  The seemingly endless inconvenient potty moments specific to early childhood are getting to me.  The feeling that no matter how far I’ve come in motherhood, I am still a slave to my children and their needs.  I look at T.Puzzle.  He looks at me.

“I really love you, Mommy.  I really love you all the times,” he says.

Oh, so that’s why it’s a good thing your kids can learn to talk.  When they are this small and verbal  sometimes they say the perfect thing when you need to hear it the most.  T.Puzzle helped shift me out of my frustration and focus on what’s important.  And no, I’m not talking about improving the cleanliness of Burger King’s bathrooms because clearly this is an issue, too.  It’s about remembering when you are up to your Mommy-eyeballs in dealing with the needs of everyone but yourself, that you do it out of love.  If you hang in there, make a good effort and keep your intentions clear, you will make it through.

I love you all the times, too, T.Puzzle.

 

T.Puzzle earns a star for good behavior at Tae Kwon Do.

 

 

Mad Dog and Full Speed lend a hand out on the mat.

 

children, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Twice the Fun

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Mad Dog is home!  Hurray!

We are all glad he is here but I have a question.  Why is it that even though I spent 24/7 with my boys over the past several days, they still insist on being attached to my hip even though their Dad is home?

While Mad Dog was watching the Buckeyes and the boys were building a train track, I attempted escape to the lanai to write my blog post.  I soon had a visitor.  Not only did he have to sit near me, he had to sit practically on top of me.

 

Me and My Shadow

 

And then there were two…

 

Good thing they are cute!

 

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