Category: kids

kids

kids, mommyhood

Running Shoes

WFAM

Has this ever happened to you? You choose a nice restaurant with a pleasant ambiance and good food (although incredibly slow service). You realize going in that it could take a long while to get your entrees but you push forward because it’s nice to do something different than pizza and burgers. Everything goes pretty smoothly all things considered and you think you are home free. Then, all of a sudden, your dinner companions (the young and demanding kind) decide that they are done. It matters not to them if the bill is yet to be paid. They are ready to vamoose.

So, you do the only logical thing. You grab them while your partner stays behind to field the check (thank you, Mad Dog) and you head outside with your little bundles of energy. And,… you run group sprints on the sidewalk.

Sometimes I still can’t believe my reality is an evening dinner that ends with wind sprints. But then again, if that’s the price of being these guys’ Mom, there’s no hesitation. Let me grab my running shoes.

kids, mommyhood

The Learning Curve

WFAM

The boys and I went to Tae Kwon Do. As much as it pains me to admit this (don’t anyone dare tell Mad Dog), the process is getting easier. To be clear, it’s easier and NOT easy. I have a feeling easy is a long way off if it ever even appears.

I had the boys dressed and was about to put their belts on them when Full Speed announces he needs to use the bathroom. In the past he has locked himself along with a huge tizzy in the bathroom. To counteract this horror, I subsequently instructed him to never, ever, ever (got it?) lock the door. After this instruction the next time he needs to go, I come to find him using the toilet with the door completely wide open. Everyone and their brother has a full view of this (the bathrooms are right off the main floor). So technically the door was unlocked, I just hadn’t told him to CLOSE the door while leaving it unlocked.

So, this time around when he makes his bathroom proclamation I tell him leave the door unlocked AND to close it. With Frack, I’m realizing detailed specifics are the only way to go. Such is the learning curve of motherhood.

kids, mommyhood

Watch Your Step

WFAM

We are headed to dinner. Full Speed decides he wants to wear an Ohio State pull-over hoodie. No big deal, he just needs to remove his glasses before I help him tug it over his head and arms. He of course carefully places his glasses on the floor right next to where he and T.Puzzle are standing. I quickly admonish him and tell him to hurry up and put his glasses somewhere that they won’t get stepped on. He scrambles to them, scoops them up and races over to the stairs. He then proceeds to gently place them on the lowest step.

Not exactly what I meant.

humor, kids

Full Speed Attacks

WFAM

We had my friends over for the Superbowl. The boys were certain they were coming only to see them. Full Speed asked obsessively throughout the day when they would arrive. When the doorbell finally rang at 5:00, both boys cheered and ran to the door. Before he knew it, my friend’s husband was designated as Full Speed’s new wrestling partner. While he was sitting watching the game, Full Speed  would back up a few feet, run full-tilt at him and hurl his little body. My friend’s hubby, who thankfully was up for all of this, would catch him with one arm and hold him up high over his head. Full Speed thought this was the best time ever.

While all this nonsense was going on, my friend and I were critiquing the fashions from the Grammy’s (can you sense how deeply invested we were in the Superbowl’s outcome?), and of course we had to mention Lady Gaga’s outrageous get-up. So the next time Full Speed launches himself in the air, my friend’s husband doesn’t quite fully catch him and he falls towards the ground. It appears as if he is going to scream some sort of curse word (I had my fingers crossed that it would be mild like ‘shoot’ or ‘ouch’) as he is sailing through the air. Instead of using a bad word he screams out “LA-DEE GAAAA_ GAAAAH!” and lands in a heap of giggles.

Next time you stub your toe or the like, try it out. It works like a charm, even if you aren’t wearing platform heels and a barbed-wire hat.

bad day, kids

A First

WFAM

Full Speed had another bad report from school. Make that a rotten report. Not only did he not listen when his teacher told him not to throw mulch on the playground; he launched a handful that hit a classmate in the face causing a cut on their eyeball (thankfully it turned out to be minor).

There are many firsts in a young life. The first time a baby smiles is pretty awesome. First steps and first words are pretty spectacular, too. Then there are the smaller milestones, like using a sippy cup, getting rid of a pacifier or being big enough to wear hand-me-down spider-man pjs that one of your favorite cousins gave you.

Firsts are sometimes the things that will keep an overwhelmed mother going. They carry enough sparkle to help you shine through the tedium and get you through your worst days.

However, if the first involves your child being the only classmate to receive a red mark (bad) on the day a brand-new behavior charting system is implemented at school, you kind of want to curl up in a corner and hope that no one can see you. I think I did for a moment close my eyes and hope that like a child, if I couldn’t see the world, the world couldn’t see me. What I wouldn’t have given for some invisibility spray.

To compound an already strained situation, the boys were awful at Tae Kwon Do. Little T.Puzzle ended up disgraced and unceremoniously placed in time-out AND Full Speed lost his belt when his poor behavior report was read at the conclusion of class.

I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or simply shut my eyes again.

Thank goodness tomorrow is another day. Maybe my boys will be perfectly well-behaved. There’s always a first, right?