Category: marital blissishness

marital blissishness, rock and a hard place

Good Luck, Mad Dog

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This is how it went down….,

Me: “I’m frustrated because you didn’t listen to me.”

Mad Dog: “How was I supposed to know what you wanted? You didn’t tell me.”

This is the problem, I did tell him. He just doesn’t remember. I have no proof because I don’t tape record our conversations (which I am seriously considering). He thinks it’s all my fault. I’d try to say otherwise but I doubt he’d listen anyway. And the cherry on my sundae is that HE wants me to apologize to HIM.

Good luck with that, Mad Dog. Good luck.

children, marital blissishness, parenting

The Agreement

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In the middle of the night Mad Dog and I have the tacit agreement that he is the one who rises with the boys. Within a partnership you have all sorts of agreements to help you figure out who does what. This has worked out fairly well for us. Since I’m mostly in charge of the boys during the day, Mad Dog pitches in by answering their random calls at night. Of course this agreement has emerged over time. Initially, when they were newborns, I was on 24 hour duty because of breastfeeding (which I disliked with extreme intensity; not all the time, just 92% of the time).

Mad Dog is one of those enviable sleepers. He falls asleep seemingly instantaneously and manages to remain deeply asleep through almost anything. I, on the other hand, battle insomnia, the occasional night terror and am clearly a general mess when it comes to sleeping. That’s why it helps tremendously when Mad Dog gets up with the boys instead of me. For me the process of getting out of bed, walking around and becoming fully alert completely messes with my already neurotic sleeping patterns. For Mad Dog it’s a small trip and then he is back in bed quick to slumber.

Another agreement we have is to sleep with our window open (this is Mad Dog’s absolute preference and I mostly don’t mind). So, the other night, I am laying awake listening to a sleeping Mad Dog’s even, peaceful breathing and I am about to doze myself when our window-shade is caught by a sharp breeze and slams against our wall. We both are jolted completely awake. I’m frustrated because I had been listening to the incessant tap, tap, tapping of the shade against the wall for what seemed like hours. I had wanted to shut the window before but knew per our open-window agreement, I could not.

“Could you please shut the window?” I ask in a curt tone. I know for Mad Dog to get up in the chilly room won’t prevent him from returning quickly to a snoozing state. He doesn’t see it that way and we proceed to have an ugly verbal exchange. Soon, I have leapt from the bed and storm over to the shade, slam the window down and return to bed in a huff. Slumber then eluded me for several hours more.

In the light of day, I apologized to Mad Dog for my midnight rant but said I didn’t understand why he was so hostile. He said he couldn’t believe I would actually wake him up to shut the window. He understands he is supposed to get up with the boys but waking him to shut a window was a bit extreme on my part. I tried to explain that it was the wind and the noisy shade that woke him. I still don’t think he believes me. No matter how many ‘agreements’ you have within a marriage, you still are going to find that you disagree.

children, marital blissishness, parenting

Good Work!

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Mad Dog and I surprised the boys by both of us picking them up for school. From there we went out for pizza. Afterwards we walked across the parking lot to the natural foods market. This is so we could stock up on frozen eggless waffles and pancakes for T.Puzzle. As we were loading in the car, Mad Dog and I got into a slight verbal tussle over who should help whom with their seatbelts (if you are married with small kids you know what I’m talking about). For Full Speed to buckle his own seatbelt is much like his journey to being fully potty-trained, nearly impossible and a long time overdue. While Mad Dog and I are sparring Full Speed attempts to do his own seatbelt to no avail.

“I can’t buckle myself in if you guys are arguing!” he says.

Once we are all tucked safely in the truck, I have to agree with Full Speed.  I lean over and give Mad Dog a smooch and we manage to get along for the rest of the ride home.

Flash forward to the early pre-dawn hours and I am awakened with a start. I am groggy and not sure what has stirred me from sleep. That’s when I hear the tell-tale thud of T.Puzzle launching himself out of his crib. I wake Mad Dog and get him up to speed and he heads into T.Puzzle’s room.  T.Puzzle is determined to join us in our bed. That’s not our policy. We believe in our kids sleeping separately from us as much as possible.

Instead of threatening him or letting him ‘cry it out’ Mad Dog comes up with an interesting and efficient solution. He plops T.Puzzle down next to his brother in the big boy race-car bed and calls it a night (or should I say early, pre-dawn morning?).

We didn’t hear a peep until it was actually a reasonable time to rise. Good work, Mad Dog! Good work.

children, health, life in pictures, marital blissishness, parenting

Sit Back

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I decided T.Puzzle needed to be seen by the pediatrician. He sounded terrible and still was a walking, dripping science experiment. His fever was gone, I just wanted to make sure whatever he had wasn’t in his lungs or ears.

Mad Dog picked up Full Speed from school, took him to lunch and than met me and T.Puzzle at the doctor’s. As they pulled up I noticed that Mad Dog had a freshly shaved head. That could only mean one thing. So did Full Speed.

Mad Dog and I don’t see eye to eye when it comes to the length of our boys’ hair. Since we have moved to Florida and our boys are incredibly active, I understand that it makes sense to have little hair in the summer months. However, during the winter here, I want to let their hair grow. As a peace offering, they handed me a gift card to Burger King that said Team Edward with a pic of my favorite Twilight character. At least Full Speed wasn’t completely shaved; he still had a little hair on top. I had to let it go.

Full Speed realizes that T.Puzzle is still under the weather. He turns up the protective empathy and is downright directive and adorable. First, he offers T.Puzzle his toy from his Burger King lunch (which T.Puzzle takes ownership of with glee) and then he grabs T.Puzzle’s hand and leads him into the office.

Once we are back in a room waiting for the doctor, Full Speed orders T.Puzzle to sit on the cushioned bench and tells him what to expect when the nurse or doctor comes in. T.Puzzle  is mostly game for all this instruction until it is time for the removal of his Lightning McQueen shoes (he’s very attached).

While we wait, I attempt to read the boys a story about Ernie and Cookie Monster. It sort of holds their interest but honestly, I feel like I’m in the middle of a wrestling ring being pummeled into oblivion. Sitting still and quietly is not their style. Soon, T.Puzzle thinks he is cute and starts punching and kicking the book. He is warned, admonished and then punished. He screams ‘sorry!’ at the top of his lungs. In a small exam room, his voice really carries.

When the doctor arrives (she’s unusually pleasant and helpful in Mad Dog’s presence, hmmm…) Full Speed is right in her face ‘helping’ her examine T.Puzzle. We have to keep holding him back and redirecting because he is certain it is his job to assist. At one point the doctor asks if T.Puzzle can cough for her. She asks Full Speed to demonstrate what she needs T.Puzzle to do and Full Speed proceeds to fake cough all over her (lovely!). T.Puzzle just watches in dazed amusement, he doesn’t cough but he does get the all clear. His lungs are good and his ears are clear. All we can do is sit back and patiently wait for the rest of his cold symptoms to run their course. If only all aspects of parenting were that easy.

children, health, marital blissishness, mommyhood

Party Pooper

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It’s nearly impossible to surprise your significant other. That’s because your lives are so deeply entwined any time you veer off course their suspicions are raised. It took some planning and discretion but I think I managed to surprise Mad Dog with a cake for his birthday at his family’s Thanksgiving feast. I also made sure that his parents’ house was sufficiently supplied with Ben and Jerry’s ice cream (cookie dough is Mad Dog’s absolute addiction).

The end result was awesome (it even had a picture of the boys on it riding a motorcycle taken at our recent portrait sitting). The cake turned out better than I hoped and was quite tasty. It was red cake with cream cheese frosting which is also a Mad Dog fave. My end goal wasn’t necessarily a delicious treat; it was to demonstrate how much I love Mad Dog. He does so much to care for our little family; I wanted to do something special for him.

After the cake, and let me tell you, it was weird slicing through the picture of my boys’ faces, all the boy cousins set forth in wild play. However, it was obvious little T.Puzzle was not feeling great. The sniffle and sneeze he’s been fighting developed into a full-blown fever topped off with green snot. Additionally, as the evening was winding down, he had an explosive poop which required a shower and a changing of the clothes for him (he was NOT happy).

Well, you know how the saying goes; it’s not really a party until someone has a messy, explosive poop, right?