marital blissishness, mommyhood

Better Days

T.Puzzle and I had a lovely first day by ourselves. We went for a long bike ride (T.Puzzle has much more patience for that kind of thing than Full Speed ever did), met out Nan and Grandma for lunch (T.Puzzle cheered Nan considerably with his innate zest for life) and then he took a two hour nap. The nap was a pleasant surprise. T.Puzzle is right on the cusp of outgrowing his afternoon nap. As all Moms know, the letting go of naps is a sad time. I think I even wept a little when Full Speed gave his up when he was only a year and a half old (I really needed the break!). It was a good day indeed!

T.Puzzle and I made our way to pick up Full Speed from school. He was sitting off to the side of the playground equipment looking quite upset. His teacher said he had a good day until he karate-chopped his schoolmate. Yes, I know, this shouldn’t be surprising to anyone that he uses his Tae Kwon Do on the world. He had some issues with that this summer and had managed to control it over the past couple months until today.

Full Speed is in a rotten frame of mind. I have to threaten him about seven times that if he doesn’t readjust his attitude, he will be sent to his room when we return home. He holds it together while I immediately cook dinner upon entering our house thinking his crankiness is due in part to being hungry. Going to school daily is quite an undertaking for him.

We get through our dinner without incident. I had prepared a super-easy chicken-sausage/pasta dish with broccoli thrown in and the boys love it. I thought it was good too if I do say so myself.

Mad Dog comes home and it’s early for him. He arrives ten minutes before six (he will argue this point and say it was fifteen minutes before six or maybe even twenty; I’ll let it go this time), in our house that is remarkable. Here’s the thing about being married to the strong, silent type. You have to get your spouse’s bearings through mostly non-verbal communication. I couldn’t place my finger on it, but something was off with him. I’m guessing it was that within seconds of walking in the door the boys are at each other’s throats and Mad Dog is disciplining them left and right. Full Speed is nearing whining hysterics and T.Puzzle is weepy in need of much attention and comfort. Hey, all in a day’s work for me.

We get the boys seated with a snack so they can eat at the table with Mad Dog. I have this sometimes unrealistic dream that our family eats meals together seated at the kitchen table. I guess it makes me feel like I’m successful at this family thing.

T.Puzzle doesn’t like the cookies he is given so he launches into a level 5 tantrum. I told him his choice is to eat what’s given to him or leave the table. Hmm, on second thought, these cookies are delicious my Mommy! Full Speed tries to help but only sort of. He offers T.Puzzle one of his cookies which gets promptly tossed on the floor. Full Speed cocks his arm back and whacks T.Puzzle squarely on the head. Full Speed went to bed shortly after. Mad Dog and I realized his attitude could not be salvaged. When I helped Full Speed get his pjs on and brush his teeth I said, “let’s hope tomorrow is a better day.” He looked up at me and said, “I sure hope so.” Here’s hoping, keep your fingers crossed!

Back to Mad Dog. Since he is not outspoken and he tends to be in work mode a good hour or so after arriving home, we were having difficulty seeing eye to eye. I don’t think he realizes that I am not part of a corporate structure and I don’t take direct feedback very well. I need it coated in lots of sugar. You would think after so many years of being together he would know this about me. You would think I would learn that his blunt tone and manner are not a reflection about how he feels about me as a person. I guess the learning curve is steep sometimes. Bottom line, he didn’t care for the dinner I made and I cared too much that he didn’t.

Some days we click, some days we don’t. Let’s hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone.
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marital blissishness, mommyhood

Tae Kwon Oh-No!

p7182835When we lived in Wisconsin and were trapped in our home for seven months straight because of snow, I desperately needed to come up with options to keep my hyperactive Full Speed entertained. On a whim when he was about 3 and a half, we signed him up for Tae Kwon Do. He excelled and all his instructors said the exact same thing. “Wow, Full Speed sure has a lot of energy.” They said it like it was a newsflash. Believe me; I was already well aware of his energy level.

Full Speed managed to move up two levels quickly and earned a purple belt shortly before we moved last November. Since we have lived here in Florida and so much has happened, we didn’t sign him up immediately. A few weeks ago I decided that I was ready to tackle the responsibility of adding this extra activity to our week and we signed him up. Mad Dog insisted we sign T.Puzzle up, too. I did not want to. T.Puzzle screamed and cried the first 15 minutes of his first class. I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. All the other parents’ eyes were looking at the distraught little T.Puzzle and looking at us. It was clear they thought that Tae Kwon Do was a cruel and unusual punishment for T.Puzzle.

After a few sessions, T.Puzzle has hit his groove. Granted, his ‘yes sirs’ and punches and kicks are the most timid of the bunch. He does manage to follow a majority of the class and his instructor has loads of patience with him. He is actually doing well which I hate to admit because that would mean Mad Dog is right, again. Oh, the humanity!!!

This is where I have the problem. I am in charge of getting them to class on Wednesday evenings by myself. I have to pack up snacks, uniforms, diapers, drinks, progress reports, Full Speed’s equipment and their respective belts. Then I have to pick them up from school, take them to class, and get them dressed, seated by the mat in criss-cross applesauce formation and happy before their session begins. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a Tae Kwon Do uniform up close. There are many twists and ties and that’s not even mentioning tying their belt (the belt ties I complete always look misshapen and lopsided). Add to the fact that the changing room is tinier than a small bathroom with no air conditioning vent and that for some reason, small spaces bring out Full Speed’s hyperactive tendencies and increases his volume level exponentially. So, I’m sweating my ass off, Full Speed is bouncing off the walls and yelling and T.Puzzle keeps opening and closing the changing room door while pooping. It takes me a good forty-five minutes to get them ready when all is said and done. I asked Mad Dog if because of his insistence that they both attend Tae Kwon Do regularly, that during these solo trips to Tae Kwon Do that I have to do by myself, if he can sense the hate-filled thoughts that I send to him even though he is miles away still at work. He says he can’t but the glint of fear in his eyes when I ask this says otherwise.

I much prefer Saturday classes. I can get T.Puzzle and Full Speed dressed at home and if I’m really lucky, Mad Dog will take them and I can stay home. I say “Hi-Ya!” to that.