children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

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It is only a recent development that I am now comfortable taking my boys to the grocery store.  It’s not without challenges.  Since the Superbowl is approaching, they tend to participate in imaginary football games using all the displays that advertise this big game.  It doesn’t seem to bother them that they are the only ones in the whole store running passing patterns and/or blocking for their brother as he runs to the freezer section which is the designated end zone.  I found the best way to combat these football antics is to give them actual permission to run plays before we head inside.  Somehow, if your Mom says ‘2 imaginary field goal attempts are acceptable’, they suddenly lose their charm (see previous post Parenting 101).

I have also found it helpful if I have the boys participate in the task at hand.  They alternate between being the cart pusher and my assistant.  The cart pusher generally endangers himself and all other patrons in the store.  Any sort of food display is at risk as well.  I tend to apologize to my fellow shoppers or praise them for their mad dodging skills.  As for the displays?  I often wish I was on the grocery store payroll for the number of ‘clean-ups in isle such and such’ that I have hastily done as my boys knock over yet another stack of food items.

This past week I had T.Puzzle as my assistant with a new recipe in hand and Full Speed was my cart pusher.  It was going fairly well except for an unfortunate, crushing turn that Full Speed had made.  Luckily, all that suffered were some coffee filters.  We regrouped and headed to the next isle.  Since I hadn’t made a Target run all week, I also had to get some basic household items which I relayed out loud to Full Speed.  I then checked my text messages to see what Mad Dog needed from the grocery.  I told Full Speed those items as well.  I then checked in with T.Puzzle and we went over the recipe and he set out to get the final ingredients.

As we turned the last corner our cart was so laden with food and other various products, Full Speed could barely push it.  I made him stop as I went over my lists, rechecked my text messages and tried in vain to make sure I had everything I needed.

“I sure hope I got everything,” I said as I eyeballed the mound in our cart.

“Mom, you have to remember like 300 things!  I think it’s okay if you forget one or two of them,” Full Speed said.

That goes for all of you reading this, too.  Just as my boys will inevitably simulate a sport while shopping, it’s inevitable that as parents, we are going to forget something along the way.  Keep it in perspective.  Look at the 298 things you DID remember.  Now, go kick a field goal!

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Parenting 101

The brainwashing for Steelers fandom starts early with Full Speed
Full Speed's on board, or is he?
Full Speed’s on board, or is he?
Little T.Puzzle mulls over being a Steelers fan...
Little T.Puzzle mulls over being a Steelers fan…
It's obvious he's having some serious second thoughts...
It’s obvious he’s having some serious second thoughts…

“I don’t understand why the boys are excited to watch every NFL team in the play-offs but I can’t ever get them to watch a Steelers game from start to finish,” lamented Mad Dog.

This was my matter-of-fact response, “That’s because you WANT them to watch the Steelers.  Haven’t you learned?  If you tell any boy (Mad Dog included) in this household you WANT them to do something, they will find every excuse not to do it.  If you want the boys to do something, it has to appear to be their own idea.   Otherwise?  You don’t stand a chance.”

There’s a fine line between parenting effectively and downright psychological warfare.  I say, if it gets your kids to eat their vegetables, it’s legit.

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

All Heart

As we were watching yet another college sport on TV, a commercial for wrestling flicked across the screen.  Mad Dog asked the boys if they would be interested in watching that since they seem to enjoy wrestling each other so very, very much.  Before they could respond, T.Puzzle threw out some wrestling ‘facts’.

“Whenever I wrestle Full Speed, I always win.  Every time.  I never lose.”

Full Speed, being the bigger brother and all, sat for a moment and didn’t say anything.  I think in years to come, T.Puzzle is going to realize saying things like this will only cause him extensive emotional and physical pain.

Mad Dog explored T.Puzzle’s assumptions further.  “Really?  Every time?”

“Well, maybe not every time, but almost all the time.”

With that, wrestlemania was on.  Full Speed lunged and attacked.  He did not hold back.  It was violent, ugly and a lot of sick sounding thuds happened as little T.Puzzle’s body hit the floor repeatedly.  I have to give T.Puzzle credit, he never gave up.  Even after Full Speed had pinned him for the tenth time and was declared champion, T.Puzzle insisted he was never fully pinned.  In his mind, he may not have technically won, but he was and never will be a loser at wrestling or anything for that matter.

My wish for anyone reading this is that you believe in yourself as much as T.Puzzle believes in himself.  Imagine a world where each of us believed we were the best at everything we tried.   Each fight would find us victorious and each day would be another opportunity for us to shine.

T.Puzzle may have lost the round, but with heart like that, he hasn’t lost the match.

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children, family, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, life in pictures, motherhood, parenting

A Year in Review (Happy New Year!)

I am typing this with a sports-related pinkie sprain.  While I have learned some great lessons this year, apparently I still am slow on the realization that my husband is a competitive beast.  Even playing an innocent family game of touch football in the backyard brings out his win-at-all-costs attitude.  I blame him entirely for the injury, but I blame myself for even playing in the first place.

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In 2013 I think the biggest change I have noticed, especially with Full Speed, is the strange phenomena of actually being helpful without being asked.  I am rendered speechless when one or both of my boys volunteers to hold a door, carry a bag, let a dog out, etc. and in turn, make my life a little bit easier.  I didn’t think it was possible.  That’s not to say they are perfect or that it happens all the time, it’s just a tiny, little gleaming light at the end of the tunnel for those parents up to their neck in diapers, bottles and constant demands.  May this help us all set the stage for even more positive changes and growth in the coming New Year.

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Another major positive change was being reunited with our dog.  T.Puzzle continues to respond well healthwise to both dogs we have now, and seems to have completely outgrown his allergy to them.  Honestly, we never outgrew our love for her and we never will.

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Supermodel

Mad Dog and I celebrated our ten-year wedding anniversary.  I can say without doubt, these past ten years have been the best of my life.  It’s not that life somehow got magically easier once we got married, in fact, we’ve faced some pretty major life events.  It has more to do with having someone in your corner that appreciates you for all the right reasons and sticks by you even when you are anything but your best.  My goal for my family is to create a home that is filled with love and acceptance.  With Mad Dog by my side, this goal is automatic.

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Familes, people, circumstances and life are never perfect.  The real lesson is to somehow find the love when all else seems dark.  There are always reasons to be thankful.  Sometimes it takes creativity to glean gratitude from your life.  Just make sure you surround yourself with awesome people and then finding the gratitude will be easier than you think.

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children, family, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

I Tink I Love You

When I was young, I always dreamed of having a family of my own. For some reason, for years I was convinced that my firstborn would be a daughter who would look just like me. I imagined she was be shy and quiet. She would read books, chase butterflies and have deep, empathic qualities. As you know, instead I was blessed with quite the exact opposite.

As parents, sometimes it’s easier to believe that if our children were like us, that somehow, they would make more ‘sense’ to us. We spend a lot of time analyzing our kids and how we think they should be. Certainly, we’ve lived enough life to know what has worked for us. Since our children share our genes, it seems reasonable that what worked for us will work for them. Unfortunately, this is seldom the case.

Having just returned from a Disney cruise, which was phenomenal, I have to admit, there were times I longed for that little girl who would happily pose with me for every Disney character under the sun. Instead, I had two extremely reluctant boys that had to be threatened into photo compliance. Stinky attitudes aside, these boys somehow amazingly pulled it together and rocked out each and every photo.

Yes, I made them pose with Tinkerbell
Yes, I made them pose with Tinkerbell
The cutest pirates on the planet
The cutest pirates on the planet
Being forced to pose with Mom again
Being forced to pose with Mom again

I couldn’t imagine two more extraordinary, bright, entertaining and loving kids.

What I have learned is that the children you are given are rarely what you expect them to be, but miraculously, are more amazing than you could ever hope for.