motherhood – Page 41 – Writes for all Mommies

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Big Dreams

15/05/2013 WFAM

Both my boys are convinced that they are amazing at everything. It doesn’t matter what it is. THEY. ARE. AWESOME.

I’ve thought long and hard about how I should temper this perceived awesomeness with reality. Then, I decided, what the heck? Does it really hurt anyone or anything if they have a solid belief in themselves? Won’t time, reality and wisdom show them what they truly are and aren’t awesome at? As long as they treat others with respect, I’m going to let it go.

As our first flag football game approached, Full Speed was convinced he would be raining down touchdowns. T.Puzzle was convinced his defensive rushing abilities were unparalleled. I, did not say a word about it. All I said is go out there and have fun.

In a matter of minutes it was clear we were the underdogs (I’m being kind here). After two, painfully long games, we were allowed the relief of leaving the field. We were on our way to meet friends and could overhear the excited chatter of the boys from the backseat of our car.

FULL SPEED: I’m pretty sure I’m going to be a professional football player when I grow up. I’m going to play for Ohio State in college and then maybe the Packers after that. T.Puzzle will like that because he was born in Wisconsin so he will like to come visit.

T.PUZZLE: Yep, I’m THE best rusher on our team.

Mad Dog and I seriously wondered if they had actually paid attention to the two games we just saw them lose. Yes, there were moments of potential. Full Speed did score a couple touchdowns and T.Puzzle sacked the QB ONCE, but that was about it.

So, I may have some reservations that they will play professional football but since no one ever knows what tomorrow holds, I’m letting them keep that dream intact.

If you can dream it, you can do it. -Walt Disney — If you can dream it, you can do it.
-Walt Disney

children, family, grief, humor, kids, kindergarten, loss of parent, motherhood, parenting

Mom’s Best Advice

08/05/2013 WFAM

Last week T.Puzzle’s teacher approached me for a conference. The thing about conferences is that they usually doesn’t consist of the teacher listing all the ways your kid is truly outstanding. As I entered the school building for the impending conference, I had a feeling she wouldn’t share anything with me that I didn’t on some level, already know. Basically, he speeds through everything, oversimplifies and isn’t interested in expounding on anything, ever. Pretty typical stuff for a kindergartener, but as his classmates are slowing down and answering questions in more detail, he is fine to zip through his schoolwork at a breakneck pace (Full Speed, Jr., anyone?). There’s not much to be done except encourage him to slow down as he does tasks at home and try to prompt more than one-word answers from him (Mad Dog, Jr., anyone?).

The hardest part of this conference day is that all I really wanted to do was call my Mom to talk about it. She was always the perfect combination of empathic listener with a good dose of pragmatism. She had a way of putting things in perspective while taking into consideration my extremely sensitive nature.

I miss that.

I miss her.

Of course she is on the forefront of my mind as Mother’s Day approaches. All I can do is remember a conversation I had with her shortly before she passed. She told me l knew her well enough that if I ever needed her advice when she was gone, I could imagine what she would tell me and I’d be exactly right.

So? What would she tell me? That T.Puzzle is brilliant, charming and handsome. She’d tell me that he’s an extremely active boy who would rather play soccer than sit still, write sentences or answer questions. She would tell me that I’m a great Mom and it’s only kindergarten. She’d tell me to focus on the good stuff the teacher said like how T.Puzzle is respectful to his classmates and his teachers. She’d tell me that when he’s CEO of a Fortune 500 company or president of the United States, that how he behaved in kindergarten won’t matter. It matters only to his future first grade teacher and first grade is months away. A lot can change over a summer and be patient. It will all work out just fine.

Thanks, Mom. I needed that.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Shower Space

02/05/2013 WFAM

Siblings often are the people you love to hate. When you are growing up they are your biggest competitors for just about everything. If you are lucky, they are your biggest supporters, too.

Recently, Full Speed has become more and more frustrated with T.Puzzle. I’ve definitely noticed the developmental gap widening between them. Somehow, second grade seems almost light years away from kindergarten. Eventually, T.Puzzle will catch-up to Full Speed and this gap will be much less noticeable. Until then, it is T.Puzzle’s absolute delight to torment his older brother.

After a particularly challenging afternoon of brotherly quarreling, Full Speed was done. We were all upstairs when Full Speed marched up to me and declared, “I’m going downstairs to take my shower. I want to do it by MYSELF! T.Puzzle can do his after.” The normal routine is to have them both head in to shower at the same time, but sensing Full Speed was ready to snap I acquiesced to his request.

He proceeded to trounce determinedly downstairs to get started. T.Puzzle and I remained upstairs while I finished putting away some laundry. I started to feel a little sad seeing Full Speed wanting his independence from his brother.

About two minutes later Full Speed comes racing back upstairs and zips into my bedroom. I looked up, startled, and asked him what he needed.

“Um, actually, it’s pretty scary downstairs all by myself. I think I want T.Puzzle to come with me.”

And just like that, the bonds of brotherhood were renewed.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Growing Pains

21/04/2013 WFAM

Somehow, my boys have the nerve to keep growing up. Not only are they more self-sufficient, they keep getting taller and taller. How do pants shrink overnight? How is it that one minute pjs fit, and the next day T.Puzzle and Full Speed could be in a Chris Farley ‘Big Kids in little PJs’ skit?

How, as Moms, do we not see this? Maybe because we are with them every day and the changes are subtle. Or, maybe, as Moms, a part of us feels our kids will never grow, therefore, they will never outgrow us.

Full Speed recently had a revelation. One of his teachers was talking about her grown kids and told him that her son was taller than her. Full Speed thought this was hilarious. “Mom, someday, I’m going to be taller than you!” His eyes gleamed at the thought while my stomach dropped to my shoes.

As Full Speed turned to leave the room I said, “Well, I guess I better be extra nice to you now so when you are bigger, you will be nice to me. By the way, did I mention how incredibly handsome you look today?”

He looked back, paused and said, “Wait a minute, are you saying that so I will be nice to you when I’m bigger?”

“Yep!”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that all I was really doing was using humor to deflect the tears that were welling up inside me.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Choked Up

15/04/2013 WFAM

We had friends over this weekend. As the adults were sitting outside on the lanai, my friend’s son comes racing out to announce that “T.Puzzle is choking!” We weren’t too concerned as he had just been reprimanded for being a poor sport over a Wii game. He was full of tears and snot so we figured he was ‘choking’ as part of his tantrum. Mad Dog went upstairs to investigate. What did he find? T.Puzzle straddling Full Speed with both of his hands wrapped tightly around his older brother’s neck. Full Speed was so stunned by this choking attack he wasn’t even trying to defend himself.

Thankfully, Full Speed was uninjured. And, thankfully, this happened around the kind of friends who understand that kids lose it and still love us anyway. I tried to imagine if we were only acquaintances how T.Puzzle’s behavior would have gone over. Something like, “Their house was lovely but man, that T.Puzzle is CRAZY! Watch your backs!”

Of course T.Puzzle was punished for his temporary loss of sanity. Mad Dog and I tried to keep it in perspective. Imagine no matter how hard you tried or how fast you ran, you never, ever get to beat your older brother at anything. That has to be a pretty frustrating way to live.

So, even though we understand his motivation, we will never condone choking your brother out.

Technically I guess that is one thing T.Puzzle is better at.