motherhood – Page 43 – Writes for all Mommies

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Chipped

12/03/2013 WFAM

As a parent I understand that I have to let my boys do things each day that make them feel like they are contributing to the family. It’s not easy for someone like myself to do this lightly. I like order. I like things put away. When I clean something, I expect it to look more clean than when I started. My boys don’t have these types of concerns.

I’ve come to accept that when it’s time for the boys to ‘help’ me unload the dishwasher it’s a disorderly matter. As I watched Full Speed begin to unload the cups and glasses, I marvelled at how it quickly devolved into a display of martial artistry. I didn’t know it was possible for two cups to fight to the death. He was quite creative. I kept admonishing him that my cups were not toys and could he please just put them where they were suppose to go? Apparently, he could not. He grabbed two coffee mugs and clinked them together in a rush of fighting glory. There was a crack in the air as a piece of my very favorite mug went flying. His eyes grew big and he hung his head low.

I went through the usual Mom-type lectures about ‘why don’t you listen the first time?’ and ‘cups are our friends’.

When it was all said and done, I actually am kind of thankful he chipped my favorite mug. It seems to fit my life better because really, who am I kidding? If I’m going to be the Mom of these two guys, do I really expect my porcelain mugs to remain intact? Of course not.

Even at age 4 and 2, these guys could light up a room with their smiles and energy — Even at ages 4 and 2, these guys could light up a room with their smiles and energy

I wouldn’t trade my boys for all the perfectly intact dinnerware in the universe.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

A Cut Above

08/03/2013 WFAM

For every child there are rites of passage. As they inch closer and closer to adulthood, they experience life in new and exciting ways. There’s the first time they walk and talk. There’s the first time they swim without water wings, ride a bike without training wheels and learn to read on their own. The list goes on and on.

Then, there’s the first time they cut their hair all by themselves.

When T.Puzzle came home sporting this fabulous new ‘do, I asked him how he managed to pull it off without being noticed.

“Don’t worry Mom. Only the little people saw me. I made sure the teacher wasn’t watching.”

He was so proud of himself on so many levels. He entertained his classmates, he manage to make his hair look weird and the teacher missed the whole deal.

Clearly he’s stylish and smart.

gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Beach Football

02/03/2013 WFAM

Mad Dog travelled this week so it was just me and the boys. As the boys are older, these stretches of time without Mad Dog are easier and easier. It has gotten so much easier that sometimes, I even manage to have fun with the boys. This concept of fun as I am lone-parenting was inconceivable a couple of years ago. I am so thankful for how far we’ve grown as a family.

That’s not to say that my authority isn’t tested, my patience isn’t tried and brothers don’t try to maul each other. Maybe I’ve grown immune to some of the craziness and have accepted that if my boys are awake, peace and calm have most likely left the building. It also helps when one or both of them say something so cute, it immediately erases any frustration from my memory stores.

As I was supervising evening showers, Full Speed shared his thoughts. “Mom, I know you really want a beach condo. I am going to try my best to find a way to help Dad get you that condo. How do you think I could do that?”

First of all, if you know me at all, I dream about living near the ocean on a daily basis. For that to register with my 8-year-old felt like reward enough. Secondly, a beach condo seems inconsequential to my happiness if my kid grows up to be as thoughtful and caring as he was in this moment.

“Full Speed, that is so nice of you to offer to help me and your Dad out, but don’t you worry, we’ve got that covered. All I want is for you to be happy and do something you really love when you grow up.”

He thought about what I said for a moment and then continued, “Well, maybe I could play football. Some players get a million dollars a game. If I play five games, that’s five million dollars and that could really help out.”

Sounds like a win-win, doesn’t it?

Even at age two, Full Speed knew he loved football

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, marriage, motherhood, parenting

Cruise (Part 6)

26/02/2013 WFAM

Mad Dog and me enjoying our time together. — Mad Dog and me

When you are a stay-at-home parent it is hard to put into words what it feels like to be away from your kids for four whole nights. Our annual cruise without kids is something I look forward to all year-long. Having to only worry about myself is liberating. Being able to walk into art-filled stores and not worry about someone breaking something is a revelation. Sitting at a leisurely meal enjoying a glass of wine (or several) and not having to cajole table manners out of my boys is amazing. It’s nice to be at a table of adults who realize knives are for butter or meat, not for stabbing your brother in the face. This time away helps me remember that I am more than somebody’s Mom. It reminds me that I was a whole and interesting person before kids and it’s comforting to know I can be that again.

Our kids are not ours to hold onto forever. The second they are given to us is the same instant we must begin to let them go. It’s up to us to keep hold of ourselves and be who we are throughout this process. Time away from them is a great way to do this. It’s also great because when you return, you realize you were missed. You realize that even boys who seem to need so little except their determination to make it in the world, do in fact still need their Mom. Even T.Puzzle, my recently turned affection-resistant kid, easily gave up a hug or two upon my return. Those hugs were some of the best hugs I’ve had in a long time.

It’s good to be home!

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Life Changing

21/02/2013 WFAM

Sometimes Mad Dog and I disagree. I know, it seems hard to believe. If you ask Mad Dog, he is at a loss as to why we disagree since he is under the impression he is always right. What’s there to disagree about?

We were having a tension-filled discussion and the boys knew we weren’t seeing eye to eye. My day had been busy and being frustrated with Mad Dog was forcing me to turn to one of my coping mechanisms…chocolate. I became more frustrated when I learned all we had in the house were a handful of peanut M&Ms. I’m not a picky girl when it comes to chocolate but I knew I would have to give them up for Full Speed. Full Speed’s recent discovery of the wonders of peanut M&Ms meant that they were off limits. I really was okay with this but I really was still not okay with Mad Dog.

I went upstairs to collect my thoughts, change into my pjs (another favorite coping mechanism) and change my attitude (not really but I tried, well, only sort of tried).

When I returned, sitting right next to my chair was the container of peanut M&Ms.

Full Speed decided he wanted something else for a treat. I could tell he was making his best effort to make me feel better by forgoing the M&Ms.

In the end, Mad Dog and I made up, like we always do and I proceeded to have the best-tasting, most love-filled M&Ms of my life.

See? Chocolate changes lives.