There’s a certain balance that has to be maintained when raising children. You have to be keenly aware of keeping things ‘equal’. If you fall short a chorus of injustice will rise up from the ranks.
T.Puzzle was feeling slighted. He was well aware that Full Speed had been on multiple dates with Mom while he had only been on one.
I hopped into action and scheduled a one on one outing with him.
As you can tell from the photo, he was filled with much delight during our dining experience.
When you have more than one child it is inevitable that you are going to compare them. In fact, everyone will compare them. This can be helpful when assessing your children’s developmental markers, predicting when their tantrum stage may end (0r not) and when trying to understand what makes each one tick.
It gets tricky when we get so caught up in labels that we sometimes forget to see what is right in front of us.
T.Puzzle has always appeared to be more timid and shy when compared to the robust nature of his older brother. I’m not so sure anymore.
Watching him lead the Tiny Tiger oath during his graduation ceremony has led me to believe I may be underestimating this kid. His punches and kicks are not as intense as Full Speed’s at this age (see, there I go again with the comparing) and he tends to move at a slightly more calm pace (ever so slightly). This doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own leadership qualities hidden underneath his rascally dimples.
Parenting should be less about labels and trying to figure out who our kids are going to be. It’s more about letting who they are unfold naturally and all the glorious discoveries we will make about them as individuals along the way.
This soccer season has not reached the level of success that Mad Dog’s and Full Speed’s first season did. I’m being kind here.
I know, I know, it’s not suppose to be about the winning. It’s suppose to be about the learning and the teamwork, right?
Who are we kidding? It’s about the winning.
Sometimes it physically pains me to watch my boys go down in the flames of defeat. It pains me even more when Mad Dog is in a less than cheerful mood for several hours following another heart wrenching loss.
There are some positives. I will never tire of watching Full Speed never tire of running the field during games. His new nickname is ‘Coast to Coast’ because the kid never backs down and will be wherever the ball is at any given moment. It is a sight to behold.
Full Speed gets set to head Coast to Coast.
Watching T.Puzzle evolve from the first game has been humorous and heartwarming. The first several games he sort of ran near the ball but he didn’t like to actually come into contact with it. Now, he’s mastered some legitimate blocks as goalie and on more than one occasion got a foot on the ball while in play. These were proud moments for me.
T.Puzzle’s school hosted their annual ‘International Night’. Each classroom had a national theme and had food to represent this theme.
All week the boys were excited for this event. T.Puzzle kept asking Mad Dog if he was going to come and have ‘Chinese food with us?’ about twice a day. Full Speed was looking forward to hanging out at his old stomping grounds and playing on the slides and outdoor equipment. Of course, he was all about the food, too.
The boys decorate our entry for Mad Dog to welcome him home in anticipation of our attendance of International Night.I looked forward to the event because the boys were beside themselves with anticipation. I also had some reservations. It’s crowded, hot, chaotic and extremely noisy. This is hard for me when my preference is solitude, moderate temperatures with a cool breeze thrown in, complete organization and extreme quiet. The cards were stacked against me.
By the time it was done, my nervous system was on overdrive teetering on the brink of a total meltdown. Even Mad Dog had reached his limit.
The boys however seemed to gain energy from the more people, food and ‘countries’ we visited. They even insisted on playing outside the school for as long as we would allow.
The ride home was no different. Mad Dog and I sat in near catatonic silence while T.Puzzle and Full Speed amped up their antics in the back.
I guess that’s part of parenting. You do things that are out of your comfort zone and nine times out of ten you end up having a good time. Watching your kids have a blast makes anything feel like a success. Even if you need a nap afterwards.
Lately I’ve noticed that T.Puzzle has taken a genuine interest in learning to read. He is also attempting to write letters and numbers. He is highly motivated because he wants to do everything his big brother is doing.
As long as he seems happy to learn these skills, I’m happy to help teach them to him. In this instance having Full Speed as a role model for reading and writing success is a positive influence on T.Puzzle.
On the opposite end of siblings-as-role-models spectrum brings to mind a story my Mom told me many years ago. My older sister simply refused to learn how to tie her shoes (for the record, she has since learned and is quite successful at it). When my Mom asked her how she planned on getting them tied she replied she would wait until I was a little older and I could tie them for her.
Lucky me.
As you can see, there are pluses and minuses to having an older sibling.
There’s a certain balance that has to be maintained when raising children. You have to be keenly aware of keeping things ‘equal’. If you fall short a chorus of injustice will rise up from the ranks.
