Category: Uncategorized

happiness, parenting, terrible twos, Uncategorized

Full Speed is Back

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Today was our triumphant return to Tae Kwon Do. I was feeling joyful because Full Speed  has been given the greenlight to fully participate in his usual physical activities. It filled my heart up to see him back in uniform and out on that mat (he had an awesome class).

T.Puzzle, well he’s a different story. I was feeling fear, anxiety, trepidation and any other emotion or feeling that constitutes dread. I was not looking forward to him hiding under a table at the Tae Kwon Do facility wailing his distress for all of Florida to hear.

I squared my shoulders and placed a hardened veneer over my soul. I was going to be the one in charge. I put on my scariest ‘Mommy face’ and used my most frightening ‘Mommy voice’ upon our arrival. I was so intimidating that a ripple of fear went through the watching crowd of parents and fellow students. I was so on my game, I frightened myself a little.

T.Puzzle sat like an angel on the mat. He did not move a muscle. I was victorious (finally!).

Class itself played out differently. T.Puzzle lost interest about twenty minutes in and nothing the instructor could do got him to focus. Of course that Mad Dog surprised us (yippee!) and was sitting on the sidelines didn’t help matters. T.Puzzle kept looking at him and was twirling and whirling around to show off for his Dad. Twirling and whirling are not exactly fitting with a Tae Kwon Do warrior’s repertoire. He was admonished harshly by the instructor at several points. The instructor even asked me in the middle of class if T.Puzzle had been given any soda during the day. I denied it vehemently (he did not). And, I wasn’t about to tell him of the freshly emptied fruit snack wrappers on the floor of my truck.

In the end, T.Puzzle had to sit off to the side of the mat because he had reached a point of no return. He was unphased and found his reflection in the mirrors highly entertaining.pa183399

The tides of war may be shifting in my battle against the terrible twos. Even though he clearly had an army of ants in his pants during class, little brother’s level of compliance prior to the start of class was the highest its ever been.

That is the icing on my cake because big brother Full Speed is back and life is good.

Uncategorized

Bullet-Proof

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The day before yesterday I had to pick Full Speed up early from school. This time it was for his five year check up. I’ve gotten so used to him being exemplary in doctors’ settings that it threw me for a loop when he started acting like a squirrel.

Our pediatrician, who does not have the gentlest bedside manner, evaluated me with a harsh eye as I had to pull out every scare tactic I had to get Full Speed to properly comply. I was certain she was writing in her notes: Mother is losing her grip, child’s behavior is unacceptable, have both evaluated by a mental health professional and behavior specialist respectively, PRONTO!

I realize that a pediatrician can’t remember every patient’s history. However, when Full Speed tested a 20/60 in his right eye and a 20/40 in his left (best to date and I was ready to crack open some bubbly), she had the nerve to ask me what I was doing about it. She wanted to know my action plan to get him to 20/20. It was hard for me not to reach over and start to strangle her smug neck. Put that in your notes and suck it Dr. Lady!

If you can’t tell I’m a little sensitive concerning my boys and their vision. I feel I’ve done just about everything short of plucking my own eyeballs from my head and giving one to each of them to get them to 20/20 vision. Next time, I’m asking for the other doctors in the practice when we have an appointment.

As we exit the facility and Full Speed is still full of the sillies, I pause and tell him he better get his act together. We have to go to the grocery and his behavior needs to improve tremendously or he is going to start losing all sorts of privileges.

“Can I get a cookie?” he asks.

I turn and look at him. The look on my face tells him his answer without me so much as uttering a word.

He shapes up nicely. Of course he takes in his two pencils he earned for a good check-up (health-wise not behaviorally) and proceeds to have a loud, pencil sword fight with himself throughout the entire store. At several points in this outing I have to tell him to use ‘inside’ voices. He reins it in for a moment or two and then the action takes off and he loses all volume control repeatedly.

During this shopping trip I realize we are on the same trajectory as a Dad and two, small girls. I’m guessing they are about two and a half and one. I am in awe. They sit peaceably next to one another and don’t make a sound. At first I’m convinced it’s a fluke. Then, I realize that no matter where I see them in the store, they are still seated and quiet. Their Dad doesn’t raise his voice once. He even comes to a complete standstill and deliberates over what brand of cereal to buy. The girls just sit there.

I’m tempted to ask him if he administered Benadryl or some other sedative to them before he left home. I don’t of course but this ludicrous notion helps me cope with the fact that I am the Mom who always has the loudest, most rambunctious kids in the store at any given moment.

I look at Full Speed and he starts pretending to shoot me with his pencils. This is my life. I dodge imaginary bullets all day long. Luckily, I’m bullet-proof.

Frack shoots

humor, mommyhood, parenting, terrible twos, Uncategorized

I Wake Up

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It was time to put T.Puzzle down for his nap. He immediately begins to run away from me telling me over and over, “I wake up, Mommy. I wake up.” He means he is clearly awake and he is not having it.

I manage to carry his nearly forty pound frame upstairs. Once upstairs, I have to put a fresh pull-up on for his nap. I ask him to retrieve one from the stash in his room. He goes over to the columns of pull-ups neatly aligned in a cloth holder that is blue and plaid with a baseball motif. He proceeds to start chucking them one by one all over the floor until he finds one with a picture on it to his liking. I don’t fight that right now. At least he brings me the pull-up and is mostly willing to change into it.

I ask him if he wants a story. He shakes his head vigorously ‘no’. “I wake up, Mommy. I wake up.”

I heave him into his crib (I know he is ready for a big boy bed, I can’t fathom that change until Full Speed’s second surgery is complete). I almost break my back in the process and he thumps to the mattress. I didn’t realize that you could lie down defiantly. Somehow he achieves just that.

I head downstairs to fold up some laundry and catch some peace and quiet. It had already felt like a long day dealing with T.Puzzle’s ever-changing moods and demands. I click on the monitor and then it begins.

“I WAKE UP, MOMMY! I WAKE UP! I GET UP! I GET UP!” I can barely understand him through the screams.

All Moms face this challenge. The time when your child transitions out of napping is perilous and fraught with emotional danger. I went through this before with Full Speed. He gave up naps so early that it could make a grown woman cry (and I did). How I handled it was a couple rough months of putting him down regardless of if he slept and eventually he adapted. It became known as “quiet time”. It actually turned into something of beauty once we survived the initial shock of it. Now, it is a time where he is in his room playing quietly (as quietly as Full Speed can) with cars, Power Rangers or Transformers. I think it is good because it helps foster his ability to play independently (which for Full Speed is a very rare thing) and gives Mommy a much, much needed (and deserved) break.

I’m feeling more confident that the transition to “quiet time” will be easier with T.Puzzle because he already has such a rich, inner-world of imagination. He plays independently stupendously and he loves stuffed animals. Since stuffed animals are not really his big brother’s forte, he gets all of Full Speed’s leftovers which makes his crib a veritable zoo of play. He has every stuffed animal under the sun.

So after a good half-hour of hysterics (his, not mine I promise), he sort of gives up and I can hear him start to play. Awesome. This is great. I feel movement towards the end goal of “quiet time”.

Then, we get a delivery. Oh, you Moms out there know the horror of a poorly timed doorbell chime. T.Puzzle hears the bell ring and assumes someone has come to visit. He is beside himself that he can’t come down and see who is here. He is so distraught it sounds like a pack of hyenas is trying to drag him away. I brace myself for the next round of screaming knowing full well if I go up and try to explain the concept of ‘just a delivery’ to him, it will only increase his despair.

Fortunately, he recovers quickly and after a good five minutes, he is back to playing with his animals. Great.

I decide I’m thirsty. That was a big mistake. Not that I was thirsty, but that I wanted to have ice with it. I put my cup up to the refrigerator door and push the ice dispenser. As the ice crashes loudly into my cup, guess what T.Puzzle says?

“I WAKE UP, MOMMY! I WAKE UP!”

I gave up, I couldn’t take it anymore.

T.Puzzle, 1 – Mommy, 0

health, humor, life in pictures, mommyhood, parenting, Uncategorized

Hey You Knucklehead!

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This post is going to be short and sweet. I am also posting it the night before Full Speed’s first surgery so that I can have one less thing to worry about as we prepare for this momentous day.

Overall, Full Speed was outstanding today. A kind friend of ours from Illinois had sent a care package a few weeks back (when we thought the first surgery would be) and I had saved a hotwheels car from it to get us through the pre-op day. It worked like a charm. That car went everywhere with us today from the doctor’s, to get our prescription and even to Tae Kwon Do.

Full Speed was a champ as we had to wait almost an hour and fifteen to meet with our doctor (who is completely worth the wait; impeccable skills and excellent beside manner). He was calm (mostly), followed directions with charm and made his Mommy very, very proud.

The only time we ran into an obstacle was when we were waiting for his eye drop prescription to be filled. Granted, the kid had been the model of good behavior all day, I can’t fault him that. I also did treat him to a candy bar so the sugar rush could have severely impeded his judgment. No one can be certain in hindsight.

He was playing with his new car and talking silly. The kind of silly talk that, taken out of context, can be considered rude. So the pharmacist says, “Next in line, please.” Full Speed  says loud enough for everyone in a ten foot radius, including the pharmacist, to hear, “Take that Knucklehead!” To the untrained observer, the pitch perfect timing lent everyone to believe he was referring to our pharmacist. I believe (and maybe it’s my own hard-core Mommy denial) that he was talking to his car. We can never be certain. The only thing I knew for certain is that I was mortified. The pharmacist was gracious and filled our prescription anyway. Looking back, it was actually kind of funny but I’m not knuckle-headed enough to ever admit that to Full Speed.

Say a prayer for good vision for my little guy. And thanks for your continued interest and support. Leave a comment if you can, I’d love to hear from you!