bad day, children, mommyhood, tantrums

Unlikable Days

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I don’t like to be the kind of Mom who fears living her life because the behavior of her child is so unpredictable. For better or worse I have always pushed forward even if I knew tantrums and embarrassment could be imminent. I have never had a period in my life that we stopped taking the boys to restaurants or on other public outings only to sit at home for months and months trying to out-wait their tantrum-prone/defiant phase. My boys are just too active to sit it out. I have to keep going. I admit, this second time around (as in raising little T.Puzzle), it’s harder and harder to find the motivation to keep doing so.

Little T.Puzzle pretends his colored goldfish are James, Percy and Henry the trains

I decided to give myself a break of sorts and didn’t take little T.Puzzle on any outings during the day. That is rather hard with a super-active, super-inquisitive little man to keep entertained all day. Eventually by day’s end, I knew I had to take him outside to do something. I landed on going to the park after we picked up big brother Full Speed from school.

As we pulled in the parking lot I told Little T.Puzzle what my expectations were. “You have to listen to Mommy at all times. If Full Speed needs to use the potty, you come with us immediately. If you decide not to listen you will lose many privileges for the evening. You will sleep alone (he loves to have big brother Full Speed sleep in his room with him), you will go to bed right after showers and there will be no treat and no tv show.”

They played for maybe ten minutes when big brother Full Speed announces he needs to use the bathroom. Little T.Puzzle ignores me when I tell him to come with us and proceeds to laugh at me because he know I can’t reach him. At least this time Full Speed was more prepared to potty on his own so it wasn’t as disastrous as it had been in the past (see ‘I’m Stunned’).

I somehow manage to get little T.Puzzle down from his safe haven of the top of the slide and I dropped the hammer. He went to his room when we got home until dinner was served. He went straight to bed alone after showers and he didn’t even have the privilege of a bedtime story. There were tears and angst (mostly my own) and little T.Puzzle screamed like a banshee at times, too (super-fun).

Motherhood is hard on the days when you question everything. Is my child beyond behavioral repair? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t my child listen to me? Why do even attempts at fun outings lead to disaster?

I guess that’s why love is such a powerful emotion. It trumps everything thank goodness; even the question-filled unlikable days of motherhood.

children, mommyhood

I Know Full Speed!

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I had a meeting at the boys’ school. I wanted to find out about their summer camp program. The employee I met with was new to the facility. He asked me what my children’s names were.

“I know Full Speed,” he said. He went on to explain that part of his training is to spend time in various classrooms and while he didn’t know many of the students yet, he definitely remembered big .

I thought it was a good thing to have a memorable child but wasn’t entirely sure. I sat back and listened as to why Full Speed stood out so much. He said that Full Speed was always ready with the answer to whatever the teacher asked. So much in fact, that his teacher was getting frustrated that he wasn’t allowing the other kids to have a chance to answer. I guess that means he would be awesome on ‘Jeopardy’. The employee also shared that Full Speed was full of funny faces and noises (hopefully appropriate and not of the bodily function persuasion) and he was more than happy to chat away with this guy he just met. I sensed the man was fully impressed with Full Speed’s extroverted style.

At the end of the meeting, I had to smile. It was nice to have a someone validate what I already know about Full Speed. He is one remarkable little dude.

children, mommyhood, terrible threes

Game Time

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All I wanted to do was go for a simple bike ride.

First, it started with this:

Little T.Puzzle refused to put his shoes on, proceeded to run away from me repeatedly and seemed to be having a dandy of a time in doing so.

After 15 minutes of threatening, pretending to leave without him and chasing him all over creation it came down to this:

Hey, at least ol’ Mom’s still got game because I eventually had enough speed to catch the little stinker.

And, how was your day?

children, mommyhood, parenting, terrible threes

Stubborn Streak

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Mad Dog surprised the family and came home early enough that we could all go to dinner. We picked the boys up and headed to eat pizza outside. Little T.Puzzle was feeling the unfortunate need to continuously test his limits and by the time dinner was over, Mad Dog had certainly reached his own kind of limit.

T.Puzzle was being difficult and wouldn’t get in the car. He kept locking his legs and simply refused to sit nicely in his car seat. In frustration Mad Dog says to him, “Do you want to go to Box Seats or do you want to go home and go to bed?”

T.Puzzle sticks out a defiant chin and replies, “I want to go home and go to bed.”

Yeah, right! My children and their stubborn streak never cease to amaze and baffle me.

I magnanimously offer to take little T.Puzzle home as I will gladly bypass the sports bar, video car-racing experience. However, both Mad Dog and T.Puzzle relent.

Shucks.

All I know is that if Mad Dog had asked me, I would have chosen to go home and stuck with it.

I guess I’m stubborn, too.

children, grief, loss of parent, mommyhood

It Wasn’t All Sad

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I made a pact with myself. Yes, Mother’s Day would be sad, and yes, I would do my best to enjoy it despite the sadness. It sort of worked. I went for a run in the morning. I’m not a huge fan of running but I am a huge fan of occasional solitude. The best part of my run is when it is over and I’m walking towards home to cool-down.

As I open the door to the house, I hear the shower going. Mad Dog was showering the boys before our Mother’s Day outing. He was doing it without help. I know he is perfectly capable but I went upstairs to investigate.

Here’s what I found:

Apparently while Mad Dog was finishing up in the shower, the suspects decided to proceed with their normal bathing routine unassisted. They know enough that once they are clean that Mom slathers them up with lotion before they get dressed. So, Little T.Puzzle got a hold of the body lotion and as you can tell, the rest is mess-covered history.

These shenanigans helped cheer me tremendously. These amazing Mother’s Day gifts from my the boys helped, too.

This was my second Mother’s Day without my Mom and in a lot of ways it was painful and in some ways it wasn’t so bad. My life must go on because I am a mother, too. My boys are depending on me and I sure am lucky to have them.