mommyhood

Two Minutes

WFAM

I was in the process of picking up Full Speed from school when I realized St. Patty’s Day and their subsequent ‘green’ parties would soon be upon us. Today was the first day the sign-up sheets for the party were posted. Since little T.Puzzle doesn’t go to school every day, I had this sneaking suspicion that all the ‘easy’ items for the party (i.e.- napkins, utensils, or paper plates) would already be unavailable. So, I grab the boys and we book it down to T.Puzzle’s class to sign-up at least for something that would be kind of easy (i.e.-store bought cookies or cupcakes).

It was rainy outside and a class of younger kids were in the hall lined up singing songs. To prevent the boys from causing too much of a distraction, I tell them to sit on the floor about halfway down the hallway. That way I can see them while I talk to T.Puzzle’s teacher about what she needs for the party.

No sooner is my attention on the teacher for all of two minutes, I hear the tell-tale ruckus of a smackdown happening mid-hall. I look up and see T.Puzzle is on all fours while Full Speed is administering a half-nelson hold on him.

I quickly wrap up my conversation with the teacher (I landed on sandwiches, but am unsure how to make them green in color unless I let the ham get moldy), and walk with purpose towards my out-of-control children. I have to get all mean and stern (story of my life) and place them in opposite corners for time-outs (story of their lives).

I know where I went wrong. I got mean and stern after the fact. I mistakenly thought they could sit nicely for two minutes without being threatened with punishment.

Maybe someday I will be able to have a two minute, uninterrupted conversation. I would ask someone who might know the answer to this, but I keep getting interrupted.

mommyhood, terrible threes

Oh, Snap!

WFAM

It’s time for a Mommy Confession: I totally lost it today with little T.Puzzle. Quite simply, I snapped.

All Moms snap at some point and only a handful of us willingly own up to it. Most of the time moms talk in hushed tones about their ‘snappage’ and will only share a tiny sliver of what really went down. They let a little something slip here or there and then hold their breath waiting for the reaction of the surrounding mothers. If I’m in the group and hear you have snapped, I got your back. Trust me, I know that your kid wasn’t sitting there quietly doing what they were told. There are always precursors to the snappage and some of it is the mom’s responsibility and some of it is your child’s.

I had taken little T.Puzzle on some errands. Overall, his level of compliance and general mood for errands has consistently been on the up and up. He did great at Target and then it all hit the fan when we went to Publix (even the free cookie did not help). By the time we were leaving, everything I asked him to do he ignored. He kept touching the conveyor belt, fiddled with the credit card scanner and wouldn’t sit on his bottom.

When we arrived home it was pouring down rain. I shuffled him inside and left the door ajar. I told him to leave it open so I could cart the soggy groceries in as quickly as possible. As I race to the door loaded down with bags, little T.Puzzle waits to the last possible moment as my feet are centimeters from the threshold, gives me an evil smile and slams the door in my face.

I open the door and that’s when it happens. I snap. His sassy demeanor instantly crumbles and I grab my bags and go off into the kitchen in a huff. He follows me in and keeps crying. I stop in my tracks, take a deep, deep breath and scoop him up in my arms.

All was forgiven but not forgotten. Wouldn’t the world be a fantastic place if everyone would just listen to their Moms in the first place?

children, mommyhood

Close, Yet Still So Far Away

WFAM

Why is it that every time I start to feel like I’ve mastered motherhood, even if it’s only a little, teeny, tiny bit, I get smacked in the face with a much different reality?

I had the boys at Tae Kwon Do and it was going sort of smoothly. I felt like I wanted to strangle little T.Puzzle only once while dressing him in his uniform (a record I think) and Full Speed was on top of his game. Overall, class was incident-free except for a portion where T.Puzzle didn’t feel like listening to the instructor and fake cried to emphasize this feeling. I’m so glad the instructor doesn’t fall for the fake cry.

After class we make our way out. I feel good. I find myself smiling a self-satisfied smile. I’m thinking, ‘See? I can do this. I can control my children and they can appear normal to the outside world’. Of course exiting the studio they almost tackle a sign standing by the front door and then they try to tackle each other. Even after these little snafus we are able to regroup. We walk in a semi-organized fashion to the truck and they hop up to their seats. I get everyone strapped in and I am just about to put the key in the ignition and write this experience off as almost easy (almost!) when Full Speed announces he has to ‘PEE!” and by the panic in his eyes, it looks like he is seconds away from doing so.

I sigh and wipe the smile from my now-feeling-very-tired face, and I gather up the monkeys and we traipse back in like a trio of drunken sailors. We knock over things, the boys trip over themselves and we pretty much call the attention of everyone in the studio and anyone in a two block radius.

Will I ever learn?

children, gratitude, happiness

Another Day, Another Purple

WFAM

Ouch. Yesterday was a toughie. Glad it’s over and I have officially made it through that dreaded first year without my Mom. I need to shift my mood so I am going to share something positive. Remember how Full Speed had a choking-of-his-classmates phase? Unfortunately if you don’t, I do. No matter how much denial I throw at the memories, I still cringe at the thought of red-marks on little Jimmy’s neck (name changed to protect his identity). It got to a point if Full Speed received a yellow mark (just okay) for talking out of turn or not waiting in line properly, I wasn’t upset at this behavior but infinitely relieved that no bodily harm had come to any of his peers.

Anyway, over the past two weeks, Full Speed has consistently gotten green marks for behavior (green is good). And, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I walked in his class, checked the behavior chart and saw he had a purple mark (above and beyond good, and, dare I say it, exceptional?) resting under his name. To celebrate I told him he could pick where we would have dinner the next day. Like any red-blooded American boy he chose…., McDonald’s.

So, the next day I have little T.Puzzle in tow and we head to pick up Full Speed for our fine-dining McDonald’s experience. We walk in the room and guess what? Full Speed had ANOTHER purple mark. I had to run it past his teacher to make sure it was legit and not an error in record-keeping . Turns out, it was a completely approved purple mark.

Two purples in a row. Here’s hoping for another choke-free day (fingers crossed!).

loss of parent, self-discovery

Along the Way

WFAM

Today is a sad day. It is the one year anniversary of when my Mom died.

She was a kind and generous soul and had a smile that could light up the world.

Here is a picture of her when she was a senior in college. She was so unassumingly beautiful and quiet. I think this picture captures that perfectly.

I miss her a lot.

When I ‘talk’ to her now, I do know what she would say. I guess being lucky enough to have a wonderful Mom for 34 years, you learn a thing or two along the way.