children, health

Updates

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Full Speed’s frames are irreparable. New ones have been ordered and we are back to waiting. He should have his new glasses by the time he leaves for college (hopefully).

And, I took T.Puzzle to the doc to have that bulge on the side of his neck evaluated. I tried to let it go but that thing kept staring at me.

I had to take both boys so you know it was absolute insanity. There were karate moves, climbing contests and fights over the scale to see who weighed the most (Full Speed did but only by seven pounds).

The doctor was kind and efficient, not to mention extraordinarily patient. My heart stuck in my throat as I watchfully observed him examine other regions of little T.Puzzle’s body for signs of inflammation. It took maybe thirty seconds but felt like a lifetime.

T.Puzzle got the all clear for now. I was so relieved I wanted to hug the doctor. Sure, his nodes are inflammed and swollen all up and down his neck but since that’s all the doctor could find, that’s normal for now.  T.Puzzle tested negative for strep and we were sent on our way. All I have to do is keep an eye on the node (which could stay that way indefinitely), and if I don’t see any changes like in skin color and size, he should be fine.

I do what I can to keep my boys healthy and then I have to let go of the things I cannot control. This is my challenge. This is motherhood.

humor, mommyhood, potty training

What I Know

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T.Puzzle has been doing well with his potty-training. After he got over the initial trauma of using the toilet (see previous post: Potty Distress), it seems to have clicked for him. At least the peeing aspect of training. He was dry all day at school and even told me when he had to pee recently. The pooping part, not so much. I’m not quite sure what to do about that.

I’m hoping because he has such reverence for his new Thomas the Train underpants, that maybe that will help him along. The first day we purchased his new undies, he carried them around all day and at times, tenderly held them in a loving embrace. I can’t fathom being that attached to underpants.

I have absolutely no idea what I am doing in terms of training him. I can guarantee you I will never write a book on how to potty-train children. I cringe at that the thought imagining all the angry letters from parents it would generate. My areas of expertise are more along the lines of how to turn any locale into a proper, smack-down wrestling ring or how to survive tantrums through denial, deep breathing and whiskey. It’s all about writing what you know, isn’t it?

health, mommyhood

Duped

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Has this ever happened to you? You have a sick kid over the weekend and on Monday they wake up in a horrible state. They are overly emotional, out-of-sorts and seem so unlike their norm, you determine they should stay home. You send them to bed, pull the covers up to their chin and tell them to rest. Not twenty minutes later (and this is after you have already sent your other child to school), they ask for breakfast. Then, there is a spring in their step and a twinkle in their eye. Suddenly, you’re the one who feels ill because you know you’ve been duped.

The positive to all this is that at least Full Speed is super-compliant. He is cheerfully following my every command (I’m getting a ‘yes ma’am’ to anything I ask) because he beat the system (and his Mom).

marital blissishness, parenting

Teamwork

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If you and your partner have a system in place that runs like clockwork when one or your kids vomit, is that a good thing or does it mean that your children are awfully unhealthy? I’m not sure but both boys were sick again and Mad Dog and I divided and conquered the mess and emotional suffering of their illness with elemental proficiency.

Before this all happened, I had taken the boys to their Saturday morning Tae Kwon Do class. Normally on a Saturday we all attend as a family. Instead, Mad Dog was going to stay behind to wait for a service call that would hopefully fix a damaged corner on T.Puzzle’s new bed.

To complicate matters (as we wives tend to do on days our husbands are home) that morning I had given Mad Dog an ultimatum of sorts. In a marriage there are always going to be sticking points. Ours happens to be our Christmas tree. I won’t go into details but as of January 23rd, our lovely tree (which I had stripped of decorations weeks ago) was still standing in our living room.

I simply told him I had a date in my head. I wasn’t going to share the date but if he did not have that tree down by this date, I was either going to set it (or him) on fire (or something like that).

Lo and behold, when I return home with the boys the tree is down and the bed is fixed. I asked Mad Dog if he asked the service guys to lend a hand with the tree (it is huge and believe me, it takes a village). He is a marvelous politician. He will neither confirm or deny anything.

Turns out it was a good thing the tree was down because Mad Dog and I needed to have complete solidarity as our boys headed into their new bout of vomiting illness. If you don’t have teamwork within a marriage, all you are left with are year-round Christmas trees and a mess that can’t be cleaned.

children, mommyhood

One More Thing

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Full Speed’s newly updated glasses finally arrived at the optometrist. In all fairness, it was a mixed blessing. Of course I’m grateful that he will have his new glasses (we have waited over a month and a half for them) but I dread going to the optometrist’s office. It never goes smoothly and at some point, I either want to pull my children’s hair out or my own.

When we are enclosed in the tiny room where Full Speed gets his glasses adjusted, he starts grabbing all the pliers, cleaners and mirrors that are within his reach. His little bottom is squirming all over the chair and I can barely keep him focused and still. While the patient employee is trying to get Full Speed’s fit right, his little brother decides to start climbing his way up me and almost knocks me over. I look down at T.Puzzle and notice with the angle his head is turned, that on the side of his neck he has a bulging growth. I put my hand to it and my heart drops as I feel it’s squishy consistency. Logic tells me it’s a swollen lymph node from all of his extended illnesses; crazy, Mommy-fear tells me he has cancer.

During my-child-possibly-has-cancer realization, I am informed that because Full Speed’s prescription is so highly specialized, that he will not be able to have the rec-specs that we had ordered as well (protective eyewear used for active sports). My heart drops again. I have to go to a very zen-like state of mind to keep my eyes from rolling in exasperation. I’m exasperated because the optometrist staff is trying to tell me that his regular glasses are more flexible than average and could suffice in a sporting situation. Uh,… have you met Full Speed? Rec-specs sure would have been nice.

When I get home, I get on the computer to look up swollen glands on WebMD. As I click to the homepage I see a list of common ailments in a column on the left-hand side. I’m about to put T.Puzzle’s symptom in the WebMD database, when the words anxiety disorders jumps out at me from the column. In that moment I knew what I really should be doing is diagnosing my own anxiety issues and letting T.Puzzle’s swollen glands run their course.

T.Puzzle was definitely tired and I could tell he was possibly fighting off some new virus or bacteria (he did end up puking the next day). I put him to bed and then, Mad Dog headed upstairs to put Full Speed down.

Mad Dog returns shaking his head in frustration. Full Speed’s new glasses are broken. He had them for less than three hours (can u see why rec-specs might be a necessity and not a luxury for Full Speed?).

I wonder if WebMD has a diagnosis for a Mom who honestly can’t take one more thing going badly. I’ll let you know if I find it.