children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

What’s I Don’t Know + I Don’t Know=?

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Is it normal that my boys constantly barrage me with addition and subtraction questions?  They also ask me how to spell things, the eating habits of dinosaurs and the prerequisites of the United States presidency.  Additionally, every morning while we wait for his school’s doors to open, Full Speed quizzes me on loose change addition.  He grabs a heap of coins, spreads them out on the dashboard and then divides them by categories.  From there we have to value the categories and figure out the sum.

It’s kind of exhausting.  Maybe this is normal and the truth is I’m feeling overwhelmed.  I’m fast realizing that soon I won’t be able to answer any of their questions accurately because they will fall outside my scope of knowledge.

Maybe it’s time for Mommy to go back to school.

How do you spell adorable?
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children, humor, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Two’s the Limit

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Full Speed joined me as we picked up T.Puzzle from school.  The morning receptionist was filling in for the afternoon and she commented on how much Full Speed has grown.  We both marvelled at how old both my boys were getting and how soon we would no longer be coming to this preschool.   I told her it will be a hard transition when T.Puzzle (my baby) goes to kindergarten next year.

Then she asked, “Are you one of those Moms that is going to have another baby when the youngest starts school?”

I almost choked at the question and blurted out, “Absolutely not!  Trust me, all you would have to do is spend some time with my boys and you would understand.”  

How do I know this for sure?  I have a close friend who had a chance to meet my boys for the first time.  I know she fell in love with them as they did with her.   Having seen the boys in action she finally gets what my motherhood journey has truly been like. 

I’m not entirely sure but I’m guessing she was even impressed I decided to go for two.

The boys enjoying a bedtime story with my friend. They quickly adopted her as one of their own.
children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Road Kill

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Battery display
Image by aminorjourney via Flickr

The usual group of neighborhood Moms and their assorted kids had gathered in our cul-de-sac.  There were trikes and scooters scattered here and there as well as a rather fancy battery-powered jeep to ride. 

I’m not going to lie.  I was nervous.  Not for my own children but for the children of my friends.  I jokingly asked if they wouldn’t mind signing waivers releasing me from all medical and legal claims against Full Speed and T.Puzzle. 

My initial fears seemed to be unfounded.  Turns out Full Speed was an incredibly skilled jeep driver.  He maneuvered through the obstacles of running kids and toys with complete control.  He knew exactly when to push it, when to let up and when to spin it back away from the gaggle of little ones. 

It was rather entertaining to watch.  I guess all those training hours of  ‘driving’ video race cars at speeds topping out at 200 mph had really paid off.

T.Puzzle looks on as Full Speed hones his driving skills.

Until…

Inevitably the other kids needed a turn behind the wheel.  T.Puzzle took over and what does Full Speed do?  He tries to run along next to the jeep and hold on to it.  All the Moms are screaming at him to “LET GO, FULL SPEED.  GET OUT OF THE WAY!” 

Does he listen?

No.

Does he become instant road kill?

Yes.

Does Mom nearly pass out at the image of a jeep driving over and trapping her oldest son?

Yes.

Will she ever recover?

No.

Thankfully, Full Speed did make a full recovery with only minor road rash injuries.  As for me?  The psychological damage is beyond repair.

children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

The Truth About Dimples

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Why is it that inevitibly on the day you have a conference with your child’s teacher they earn a bad behavior report?  This is only worsened by the fact that it is his second in a row in what is turning out to be a possible record breaking number of bad behavior reports.  I mean I’m going to give T.Puzzle credit.  At least he is consistent and obviously committed to racking up a high number of these reports.

His teachers aren’t completely throwing him under the bus.  They say things like, “well, he’s a good kid, he’s just not listening,” or “when he’s in a group he gets in trouble but on his own he is great.”  I don’t know if I buy it.  I kind of do but I’m telling you, his dimples and glasses let that kid get away with more than anybody has a right to.

I know I survived this kind of behavior stuff from Full Speed when he was exactly this age.  I know I have to be consistent and strong with discipline.  T.Puzzle has yet to be unfazed by the consequences he has incurred.  I’m going to have to up the ante just like I did with Full Speed.  I’m running out of options.  Pretty soon I’m going to have to start taking away food, shelter and clothing.

I’m almost postive this would make T.Puzzle a naked, starving and sunburned four year old who still refuses to listen to his teachers. 

Thank goodness for the dimples…

children, humor, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

The Write Stuff

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Underdeveloped fine motor skills and rowdy behavior are the staples of raising very active boys.  Full Speed has been known to have both of these.  Thankfully with practice and maturity he has shown tremendous improvements in both these areas especially in school.  At home, he tends to get himself in trouble with regularity.  It seems that since he is behaving at school he kind of loses control when he gets home. 

Over the weekend Full Speed misbehaved and lost some privileges for the day.  He expressed his displeasure at Mom and Dad by having a terribly stinky attitude and writing this note while we were at lunch:

Mad Dog and I marvelled at the penmanship and great punctuation.  So what if Full Speed won’t behave?  At least his fine motor skills are fantastic.