Apparently since T.Puzzle and Full Speed are thoroughly enjoying their summer vacation, they would like Mad Dog to join in their fun. On a ride home from errands Full Speed asked me if I knew Mad Dog’s work number.
“Why?” I asked.
“Maybe we can call his bosses later and see if they will let your husband have a week off. Then we can make him feel very special all week long,” he replied.
I liked his idea. I also enjoyed how he referred to Mad Dog as my husband and not as Dad. I think he was trying to be more formal sounding so Mad Dog’s bosses would take his request seriously.
I didn’t want to dampen the sincerity of his spirit so I quickly devised a plan.
“Why don’t we make a video for Dad’s bosses and we can send it to Dad to share with his bosses later?”
T.Puzzle and Full Speed were quite happy with this notion. They enjoy the art of video as much as a wrestling smack-down.
If I could describe my perfect holiday weekend it would include things like quietly reading or blogging. Maybe I would go to a non-violent film about love and redemption. I would get a pedicure, go shopping or have a nice glass of wine with a fancy dinner.
Never in my wildest imagination would these plans include a knock-down, drag-out pillow war.
It is clear to me that my boys and I are very different. Not bad different but maybe slightly crazy different.
Denial is a wonderful coping mechanism. I’m learning it lasts for as long as a delicate psyche needs and then collapses when you’ve reached a head space that allows for the truth.
When T.Puzzle was born and he screamed louder than any newborn has a right to, I clearly remember thinking, “Hey, wait a minute. You’re suppose to be my easy kid.” I had made a silent agreement with T.Puzzle while he was in utero that he was going to be a milder version of Full Speed.
In some ways this was true. He actually stayed put long enough for me to on occasion hold and snuggle him. He broke into easy smiles with his incredible dimples a-blazin’ and he actually played calmly with baby toys for extended periods.
Other signs that T.Puzzle would be ‘easier’, or more likely helped feed my denial, were his slightly more sensitive nature and his skill at reading and reacting to other people’s emotions. Early on we labeled him ‘our little social worker’.
Great. This was good. I rolled along and headed into his ‘terrible twos’ feeling like I was finally going to have an upper hand.
I was completely wrong. He tantrummed with the same passionate zest as his brother before him. The only things that kept me going through this were the glimpses of his social worker nature and my dear, sweet friend denial. No matter how ugly the tantrums became he would always quickly win me back with his, “I love you, Mommys” and loving hugs.
Then came this summer and that’s when denial packed up its bags and left me for good. T.Puzzle has continued his tantrumming phase well into his fourth year exactly the same as Full Speed. Unfortunately for this latest phase of summer tantrums the gloves are off. He is proving that he can run with the big boys and has shown such a ferocity of independence that it is at once frightening and awe-inspiring.
All I can say is bring it T.Puzzle. This ain’t my first rodeo, kid.
I was reading some headlines on the computer when one caught my eye. It listed 10 signs that children are gifted. Of course being a parent I was inclined to read it. They were fairly non-specific and I didn’t leave it with any real sense of whether or not Full Speed and/or T.Puzzle fit the bill. I then imagined a ‘gifted’ list that would fit my boys to a T.
1. Throws raging tantrums at fifteen months until the age of five.
2. Believes themselves to be in charge when all evidence points otherwise.
3. Displays episodes of extreme hyperactivity.
4. Won’t back down from any challenge, imposed discipline or confrontation without a fight.
5. Fiercely independent.
6. Remembers the tiniest details and won’t ever let you forget them.
7. Strong-willed doesn’t even began to cover their temperament.
8. Believes themselves to always, always be right and will argue until they are blue in the face to convince you of their rightness.
9. Asserts their needs loudly, strongly and often.
10. Wears down their Mommy until she is certain she can’t remember her own name, where she lives or what she is doing.
Keep in mind this list was written while T.Puzzle was in his room screaming at length because he kept telling me ‘no!’ all morning long and had engaged in his new favorite past-time of ‘run-away-from-Mommy-in-the-parking-lot’.
The boys and I were discussing family trips past, present and future. Full Speed shared that he would like to go to Hawaii someday. I explained that this is a very big trip and a lot of planning and saving would have to go into to it.
“Mom, I know what we can do! You can use all the money I have in my piggy bank! It’s a lot so we should have plenty. I don’t mind letting you use it. I know how you and Dad use all your money for the games at Chicago Pizza.”
