Tag: acceptance

children, gratitude, happiness, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Diet Coke

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A neighbor and I were recently chatting about raising our boys.  Hers are grown, as you all know, mine are not.  We both said that in our experience motherhood gets better with each passing year.  It’s a combination of learning to accept things exactly as they are and the natural maturation of children.  Basically it’s easier to let things slide if your kids are more self sufficient, follow directions better and have more fully developed personalities to entertain you.

I was keenly aware of this conversation as I took T.Puzzle to lunch at Chik-fil-a.  It was a breeze.  He sat quietly and promptly ate his food.  He went and played independently.  Instead of endangering other kids with aggressive behavior, he actually helped a little girl who was stuck halfway between platforms.  Yes, that’s right, he HELPED her.  He didn’t bite her, kick her or punch her.  He was so proud of himself he ran out to tell me all about it.  He also lobbied that this may be a great item to include in his behavior report for tae kwon do this evening.

Naturally, there will be times today when he tests my patience.  The nice thing is that now there is more balance.  He gives a little and therefore so do I.

And for the record as I sat alone drinking my soda and watching him play, it may have been the best Diet Coke I ever tasted.

children, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

3 Categories

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This has happened to me countless times.  I’m on an errand of some sort with the boys that inevitably places us in a too small, overcrowded waiting area.  This week it was for my allergy shots.  Part of the problem is I stubbornly refuse to use electronic devices to keep them entertained and quiet.  They each are allowed to pick two hotwheels cars and must use their imaginations to pass the time.

It quickly becomes an experiment on a sociological level.  I am able to divide the people in the waiting room into three categories:

1.  People who think my lively boys are adorable and highly entertaining.  Which naturally they are.

2.  People who have never raised boys, who rarely are around boys and who clearly wish that the world was child-free. These are my favorite category of people.  They are so bright and cheery.

3.  People who don’t care.  No, wait, these actually are my favorite category.

Small spaces, big spaces, crowded or deserted, none of this changes that my boys are who they are.

Thankfully I happen to fall into the first category so it works out.

gratitude, happiness, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery

Kick in the Pants

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At the gym this morning as I was waiting for a class to start, I watched a fellow gym goer chase down her very active toddler son.  He darted into a room he didn’t belong and she had no choice but to follow.

She was exasperated and embarrassed.

Two ‘E’ words I have come to know and love over the course of raising my boys.

I said to her, “He reminds me so much of my boys.  I know exactly how you feel.”

She smiled blandly at me, squared her shoulders and finally overtook her little one by sheer force.

Looked like a typical Thursday morning to me.

Another member said, “So your boys were like that at that age?”

“Yes.  In fact my older one was about 100 times more active than that.  This kid is more my younger one’s speed.”

“Isn’t it great?,” she asked.

I looked at her and paused.  She was older, closer to a grandmother’s age than my own so she clearly had some experience to back up this question.

My pause made her continue.  “Wouldn’t you rather have kids full of life and personality than a kid who is dull and boring?”

And for the first time in my life it dawned on me that the answer to this question is a resounding ‘YES!

So remember that when you are about to lose it.

Or more likely, when you are beating yourself up over some behavioral misdeed of your perfectly normal, perfectly acceptable offspring.

Spirited kids are the ones who kick life in the pants.

I’ll take two please and hold the boring!

children, eyesight, gratitude, health, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Walking the Walk

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A typical Snellen chart. Originally developed ...
Image via Wikipedia

I had my annual eye exam yesterday.  I figured if I volunteer for Vision is Priceless and I expect my boys to go through all the machinations of maintaining their vision and eye health, then I should be first in line at to get my own eyes tested.  It was painless, quick and I finally ordered a pair of prescription sunglasses.  Trust me, daily driving in the Floridian sun demands dark shades.

During the appointment I felt disproportionately anxious and emotional to what was actually happening.  Here is why:

1.  I was awake.  Folks, that’s pretty much all it takes for me to feel disproportionately anxious and emotional.

2.  Having to go through some of the necessary and slightly uncomfortable steps of my eye exam, like the pressure check with puffs of air and dilation drops, made me sad that my boys have had to do so much of this stuff at such an early age.  I don’t like having to stand by and watch them cry as they get dilation drops or the doc struggles to keep them still to get a photograph of the inside of their eyes. 

The woman that had walked me through the first steps of testing leading up to my actual exam asked me if it was all going alright.  I confessed that I was thinking of my boys and their eye history.  Since they are very well known at the optometrist, she understood my meaning.

She said that actually I’m quite lucky that my boys  have been to exposed so much to doctors.  She said she has fifteen year olds that refuse some parts of the eye testing because they are scared, defiant and/or crying. 

So, my concern will no longer be feeling bad about their familiarity with all things medical and optical.  I will be thankful they are learning to respect doctors and any tests that are required of them.  My real concern is that soon, T.Puzzle and Full Speed will attempt to usurp the testers and run the show, equipment and the eye testing all on their own.

It’s a fine line for sure.

vision has never held these boys back, not one minute, not one second. We are very fortunate.

 

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children, humor, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Happy Valentine’s Day

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I long ago let go of the dream that my boys would ever want to decorate cookies.  The first time I attempted this activity Full Speed was three and his interest was zero.  Therefore I went into my Valentine cookie making experience with very low expectations.

I was pleasantly surprised.  They both really got into it.  It was a little chaotic and I was thankful that Mad Dog was on hand to help.  Once the cookies were bedazzled with glittery sugar and hearts, we set out to deliver some to our neighbors.

The boys loved this even more than decorating.

I was so pleased with myself.

Decorating fun?

Check.

Spreading some love to friends?

Check.

Finding common ground with my two boys?

Check and check.

That is until Full Speed for no apparent reason grabbed hold of T.Puzzle’s arm, spun him in a wicked circle and threw him to the asphalt of our cul-de-sac.  There was blood and wailing to boot.

Maybe next year will be my year.  We will get through cookie decorating AND cookie delivery without any violence.

All you need is love and a good set of Cars band-aids on hand in case one of your kids inexplicably loses his mind and tries to maim the other.

Give peace a chance.

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