Tag: chaos

humor, marital blissishness, mommyhood, parenting

Breaking the Fast

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Mad Dog was scared when he walked in the door Friday night. I had reached my limit of patience with the boys. I had Full Speed upstairs screaming in his room because he had repeatedly run over T.Puzzle with a rather large, blue Lego truck. I was on my way back downstairs when I saw Mad Dog’s silhouette through our glass door. I walked forcifully to the door and opened it with much anger. Of course I wasn’t angry at him or the door. I was frustrated with Mommyhood.

Mad Dog cautiously stepped over the threshold and commented that it looked like I was ready to stab him. I resent that because at the time, I wasn’t even holding a knife. Mad Dog was puzzled why I was so on edge. He figured because I only had Full Speed for the day as T.Puzzle was in school (and Full Speed had visited Grandma for a couple hours in the morning to give me a break), that I should be calm, cool and collected.

I could see his point. I could also see mine. Mine had more to do with the fact that the days surrounding Full Speed’s surgery had put me on such a heightened Mommy Mode that I was completely burned out. I liken it to that hyper-awareness you have with a newborn. It was as if my mental self had completely immersed itself into Full Speed. If he so much as hiccupped I had water, honey and a soothing hug to help him through it. Anything he needed I had for him. Anything he wanted I made sure he got. I did it partly because that’s what Mommy’s do. I also did it to ease his suffering going through so many complicated medical procedures and testing. I was exhausted.

I was frustrated too that Mad Dog wasn’t validating this experience. So, the next morning when it was time for breakfast, I was more than happy to let Mad Dog take over with the boys. Eventually, I heard a lot of chaos, crying and fighting so I went downstairs to investigate.

The boys and I have a solid routine for breakfast and they were voicing their displeasure that Mad Dog was doing it wrong. I was upset. Not because my boys are slightly OCD concerning routines, but because it is solely up to me to know the ins and outs of these routines. I’m the one who knows what kind of waffles they can and can’t eat (T.Puzzle is allergic to eggs so he requires a special brand), how many sausages they prefer (it’s two links) and that they always have a fresh side of fruit. I also make sure they have vitamins, have brushed teeth, are properly sun-screened, eye-glasses cleaned etc. Most of the time I handle these details with aplomb. However, this morning that was not the case.

Through this pandemonium I think it clicked for Mad Dog that our guys are certainly a handful. I think he noted the dazed and crazed look in my eyes, too. He graciously offered to let me have a break in the afternoon while he watched the Buckeyes with Grandpa and the boys (thank you, thank you!). I decided to go to a movie.

It was magical. I mean, the movie wasn’t great (Love Happens, I recommend renting it or watching it on pay-per-view on a rainy afternoon) but it was completely liberating. It felt like I could breathe for the first time in well over a week. I loved that it was dark, quiet and the only needs I had to care for were my own. I loved that the movie had decidedly feminine themes and was ladened with cheese.

I’m going to need to work on having more balance moving forward for Full Speed’s second surgery. Or Mad Dog may very well need to hide all of our knives until then.

humor, mommyhood

What’s in a Name?

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I was on the phone with one of my fans yesterday. Well, she’s a good friend and she normally calls me anyway so I’m not sure if that counts. I guess she technically reads my blog with intermittent regularity so that does qualify (slightly) as a phone call from fan. She had called me while I was in the process of preparing a complicated meal (okay, it was chicken nuggets and tater tots) for the boys. She knew it wouldn’t be the most convenient time in my day as we were nearing dinner; she just happened to have a few spare moments and took a shot.

Of course my boys were starving and beating on each other relentlessly. T.Puzzle was melting down and I could barely form a coherent sentence into the phone. After about ten minutes, my friend and I gave up on the phone call and she told me to call her when my life had settled down. I told her I couldn’t do that, I like her too much. If I waited until my life had settled down, T.Puzzle and Full Speed would be college age. She laughed at that. She’s a good friend and she thinks I’m funny (even better).

She also is curious why I don’t have a nickname for myself in my blog. I told her it’s because I am the creator and since it’s from my point of view a nickname is unnecessary. If I did have nickname it might be Double D (not only my initials but extremely ironic if you know what my figure looks like), Sweet Cheeks (catchy isn’t it?) or Hot Mama (no irony intended). Still, I think for now, I will go nickname-less. Of course, if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. Try to steer away from ‘Double A’ because that would clearly hurt my feelings (I’m very sensitive and the truth hurts).

Nickname or not, I’m still very much Mommy. Full Speed and I have been spending loads of time together on this adventure to excellent vision. Today (since he is still home from school) he requested a date night with his Mom at Applebee’s (which meant lunch without Mad Dog or T.Puzzle). Full Speed thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world to go on a date with his Mom. I think it’s pretty cool, too! I’m hopeful he won’t feel the same when it’s time for his prom. That could be awkward. Especially if he saw my interpretation of the Electric Slide.

humor, mommyhood, parenting

Don’t Shoot

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Could someone please explain to me that while it was Full Speed that went under the knife, I’m the one who is not recovering very well? I’m tired and cranky. I need a nap. Unfortunately, I’m the only one in my house that does.

Full Speed has been a chock full of energy and back to his old self. He has started in with his million and one questions per day quota and has again been asking me to spell out everything. I love that he is curious about letters and spelling but is it necessary for me to spell ‘Incredible Hulk’ ten times a day? At least I know he is feeling good. His eye looks great and he only took Tylenol twice post-op. I couldn’t ask for more.

I have both boys with me today and I decided that we should stay close to home to give Full Speed some more recovery time. I am writing this in the eleventh hour of my very long day wishing Mad Dog would hurry up and get home.

The good news is the boys are already bathed. I did separate baths because I wanted to keep the bathing environment more controlled for Full Speed’s post-surgery eyeball. While I was bathing T.Puzzle, Full Speed kept running in and out of the closet shouting, “HERE I AM!” I could tell his energy level was on the verge of exploding so I tried my best to ignore him (I want him as calm as possible so that he may heal well). It did not matter if I paid attention or not, he continued this nonsense for a solid ten minutes. The plus was that I always knew exactly where he was.

After T.Puzzle was bathed and P.J.ed and while I was dressing Full Speed post bath, he informed me that he was glad T.Puzzle was borrowing his Cars pajamas. Full Speed has sort of lost interest in the Cars characters as he gets older and he likes to share his Cars clothing with T.Puzzle.  I complimented Full Speed on what a thoughtful big brother he was. I told him he was an excellent sharer. He got quiet and thoughtful for a minute. “When I have my birthday and get a gun for a present can I share it with T.Puzzle?” This may be the one instance where sharing could backfire in a major way.

Sometimes it’s easier to agree than fight his thought process. I was thankful at least he was willing to share his firearm. He will be the most thoughtful gangster on the block.

 

health, humor, life in pictures, mommyhood, parenting, Uncategorized

Hey You Knucklehead!

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This post is going to be short and sweet. I am also posting it the night before Full Speed’s first surgery so that I can have one less thing to worry about as we prepare for this momentous day.

Overall, Full Speed was outstanding today. A kind friend of ours from Illinois had sent a care package a few weeks back (when we thought the first surgery would be) and I had saved a hotwheels car from it to get us through the pre-op day. It worked like a charm. That car went everywhere with us today from the doctor’s, to get our prescription and even to Tae Kwon Do.

Full Speed was a champ as we had to wait almost an hour and fifteen to meet with our doctor (who is completely worth the wait; impeccable skills and excellent beside manner). He was calm (mostly), followed directions with charm and made his Mommy very, very proud.

The only time we ran into an obstacle was when we were waiting for his eye drop prescription to be filled. Granted, the kid had been the model of good behavior all day, I can’t fault him that. I also did treat him to a candy bar so the sugar rush could have severely impeded his judgment. No one can be certain in hindsight.

He was playing with his new car and talking silly. The kind of silly talk that, taken out of context, can be considered rude. So the pharmacist says, “Next in line, please.” Full Speed  says loud enough for everyone in a ten foot radius, including the pharmacist, to hear, “Take that Knucklehead!” To the untrained observer, the pitch perfect timing lent everyone to believe he was referring to our pharmacist. I believe (and maybe it’s my own hard-core Mommy denial) that he was talking to his car. We can never be certain. The only thing I knew for certain is that I was mortified. The pharmacist was gracious and filled our prescription anyway. Looking back, it was actually kind of funny but I’m not knuckle-headed enough to ever admit that to Full Speed.

Say a prayer for good vision for my little guy. And thanks for your continued interest and support. Leave a comment if you can, I’d love to hear from you!

mommyhood, parenting

Spittin’ Mad

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JRI have to confess, this did not happen yesterday but the night before. When it happened, I already had my post completed, saved and had it ready to go for the next day. I didn’t realize I would have such a blog-worthy evening with Full Speed. Lucky, lucky me.

I mentioned that he was slightly out-of-control at the doctor’s for his physical and the subsequent activities that followed. It’s almost that he has forgotten that I am the one in charge. He is acting up and being very, very silly. I do enjoy silly as humor is the honey that gets you through life, but what he is doing is different. It feels class-clownish, disrespectful and spastic. I don’t like the overall vibe. I’m guessing he is feeling nervous about his impending surgeries and he is expressing it via goofy antics. Even though I know this intellectually, it doesn’t always sink in for me in the middle of one of his spastic attacks.

Mad Dog was with our handy-man getting to the bottom of our flooded garage (which is finished- I know, it’s a Florida thing). I took the boys upstairs to bathe them. Right off the bat Full Speed is running around naked jumping all over. He runs up to his brother, konks T.Puzzle on the head and darts away. Since I had already had more than my fill of this type of behavior, he is immediately and harshly punished. He’s not allowed to play in the bath and he is only in it for cleansing purposes. He does not get to wear his Daddy’s jersey to bed (Daddy’s jerseys are like the holy grail to Full Speed) and he has to wear baby pajamas instead.

Of course he loses it and screams and cries and says he’s sorry. He starts yelling “Mommy, I LOVE YOU!” in the most pathetic and dramatic way he can muster. I say, “That’s nice; you’re still going straight to bed.”

At this point he is out of the tub and realizes that sucking up to Mom is not going to work. So he goes the opposite direction (all the while running around completely nude) and shouts, “Mommy, I DO NOT like you. I DO NOT like you anymore.” At some point during this whole fiasco, he tries to spit at me. I can put up with a lot, spitting for some reason pushes my buttons beyond limits.

I manage to tackle him into submission and force a onesie on him. In T.Puzzle’s room I had managed to uncover this onesie that has Grumpy the dwarf on it. Both boys wore it when they were right around two years of age. It is clearly too small for Full Speed but I power it on him anyway to make my point. I can tell by now, he likes me even less than he initially thought. I pick out some too-small Cars pants and the lovely ensemble is complete. He looks like a mini-angry old man. It’s unintentionally funny. In the moment however, it is completely humorless.

He is boiling. I can almost see the steam coming from his ears. He tries again switching gears and goes the sweet route, “Mommy, I LOVE YOU! I’m SORRY!” His tone is now laced with desperation.

“I understand that Full Speed, you might have thought of that when you were making bad choices about your behavior. I appreciate it, but you are still going to bed and you are wearing what you are wearing.”

It’s on now. “Mommy, I DO NOT LIKE YOU!” he screams.

At this point, Mad Dog comes up and asks “What is going on up here?” He is curious to see the source of Full Speed’s bipolar state of mind.

He looks at Full Speed in his mighty-tighty pjs, looks at me (I’m guessing my expression said it all) and says, “You want me to put him to bed?”

Good call because I was spittin’ mad and I didn’t want to set a bad example.