Tag: kids

children, family, gratitude, humor, motherhood, parenting

Leapin’ Lizards

WFAM
English: Lizard English: Eidechse
Image via WikipediaI

I was unwrapping a box on our dining room table.  After I had cut through some plastic and rubber bands to get to its contents, I started to clear the area.  I absent-mindedly grabbed a rubber band and then the world stopped.  On closer inspection I realized this unfortunate rubber band was actually a tiny, dead, three-inch lizard.  I had it pinched firmly between my thumb and forefinger.  I dropped it as if it were on fire and screamed my pretty little head off.

The boys raced into the dining room to see what was seemingly threatening the safety of their mother.  I was logical enough to quickly convey that physically I was fine.  Emotionally, well, the jury’s still out on that one.

I asked Full Speed to get a paper towel, pick up the deceased lizard and toss it outside.  I wasn’t sure how he was going to react.  I didn’t know if he would mirror my hysteria or step up to the challenge.  Thankfully, he was a as cool as a cucumber.

I told him he was my hero.  “I bet it was weird hearing me scream like a little girl, wasn’t it?”

“That’s okay, Mom.  You are a girl so you can scream like one,” he replied without judgement.

Wow.  A hero who simultaneously rescues and bolsters your self-esteem.  Leapin’ lizards he’s a good kid!

Take that, lizard!
Related articles
children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Faux Pas Hawks

WFAM

My beloved did his best to prove to me that he is perfectly capable of combing/styling the boys’ hair.  Mad Dog had already cleaned up the kitchen and fed the boys breakfast so I dared not dream he would calm their unruly hair into submission. 

But he did.

And, it was highly entertaining.

At one point he ended up rather forcefully saying to T.Puzzle, “Man up and quit being so dramatic!”  Of course this was done has T.Puzzle’s head was yanked back and forth while a comb raked over his apparently highly sensitive scalp.

Best Faux-Hawks Ever!
children, humor, kids, marriage, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

No and Yes

WFAM

One of the goals of parenthood is to teach your children to be independent.  In theory, the more they are able to do on their own, the more freedom it will give you.  However, sometimes in the process of teaching your two boys who don’t pay attention to details the art of loading the dishwasher, it can turn slightly calamitous.  Somehow water ends up everywhere but the sink and they will attempt to start a load for only two plates when I’m not looking.  This load is done without detergent of course.  In their defense, those two, lonely plates really did shine.

I try to be patient, I try to let some things slide…especially my feet in the watery abyss surrounding my dishwasher, and yet there are still daily tasks for the boys I haven’t allowed them to do.  

Over the weekend I went for a morning run leaving Mad Dog in charge.  When I came home, I asked if he had followed up on the parentally supervised tasks of the boys’ morning.

Did they get their vitamins?

No.

Did they get their glasses cleaned?

No.

Is their hair combed?

No.

Did T.Puzzle get his nasal spray?

No.

Finally in exasperation Full Speed declared, “Everything you are going to ask Daddy the answer is going to be no!”

Mad Dog didn’t miss a beat.  “That’s not true.  You have to ask the right questions.”  Then he went on to list all the questions he would easily be able to reply yes to.

Are the boys protected?

Do they have a roof over their head?

and, this one’s my favorite…

Do they have love?

Yes, yes and yes.

So, let’s ponder this for a moment.  To quote Full Speed (he gleaned this little gem from a movie), “Happy wife, happy life.  Unhappy wife, stone-cold misery.”

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Et Tu, T.Puzzle?

WFAM

I’ve dedicated previous posts to the personality dilemma of little T.Puzzle.  When he was in utero I prayed, pleaded and begged him to be less strong-willed than Full Speed before him.  Unfortunately, the kid has held his own in the stubborn arena and it seems to be getting worse.

As a whole, T.Puzzle has been more of an enigma to me.  Full Speed and his personality traits were easier to identify because he is almost a complete carbon copy of Mad Dog.  So, all I had to do was look to Mad Dog to help me understand what was making Full Speed tick.  Over time this has helped me tremendously.

T.Puzzle on the other hand has shown more signs of my personality.  He is more expressive, affectionate and can be extremely empathic.  He can even be downright adorable with his expressions of loving devotion. I thought maybe this would mean that some of my previous pleas to the cosmos had been answered.  While he certainly has his share of assertive independence, I hoped his sensitive side would balance it out or at least soften the edges a bit.

I am so, so very wrong.  T.Puzzle lately has been giving me and especially his teachers at school, a run for our money.   He is so much like Full Speed and Mad Dog it makes me want to cry just a little bit.  Granted, being assertive, confident and strong-willed will get you far in your adult life.  The downside is that your Mom may completely lose her mind in the process of getting you there.

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Dark Side of Valentine’s Day

WFAM

I am off my game.  You would think I would know better.  All I need to do to stay on top of things is periodically read old posts from this blog.

I couldn’t resist.  I gave the boys small-scale lightsabers with M&Ms inside the handle.  They are completely adorable, they light up and they came with candy.  They are a perfect little Valentine.

Do I even need to write what happened once the boys bounded downstairs and grasped the lightsabers in their hands?

I don’t.  You’re a smart bunch.  You saw this morning’s lightsaber death match between the boys coming a mile a way.  You could have warned me to get them anything else.   My enduring love for Han Solo and all things Star Wars clouded my judgment.

I have paid the price and like the dark side I do not.

Related articles