Don’t get me wrong, on the rare occasion I visit a library by myself, it is a little slice of heaven in my day. Silence and books are two of my favorite commodites.
The fear part comes in when I have to take Full Speed and T.Puzzle with me.
They love the books.
They don’t love the silence.
They do anything in their power to combat silence.
They are quite skilled.
I’m close to conquering my fears. After nearly two and half years of Florida living I took the plunge and got a library card.
Yes, it took me that long. Yes, if you met Full Speed and T.Puzzle you totally understand.
Now all I have to do is find a book on ‘How to Teach Two Strong-Willed, Independent Thinking Boys To Comply To Your Every Command’.
All week long the boys tried to convince me that Mad Dog needed to see the Dino Alive! exhibit at the zoo. They were convinced he was most certainly experiencing sleepless nights until he witnessed the wonders of animatronic dinosaurs with his own eyes.
We started out our Sunday with a cloudless sky, hope in our hearts and our zoo membership card in the car console.
I told Mad Dog to be prepared. He was going to need to carry T.Puzzle throughout the wandering path of hidden dinosaurs. I told him by the end of our last visit, T.Puzzle had his arms and legs locked on me in a death grip, Full Speed was cowering behind me and all that stood between me and the gigantic T-Rex was my steely resolve.
This outing was a little different. Both boys insisted on walking on their own through the maze of trees and roaring reptiles. Full Speed compensated his fear by staying true to his name. He would dart as fast as he could away from any sense of danger.
T.Puzzle, well, he coped in another way. He chose prayer. He clasped his hands tightly together as he willed his feet to keep moving. A step here, a step there and a prayer right here.
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He kept his hands clasped like that through our entire dinosaur adventure.
Having spent spring break doing local things with my boys, we visited our share of parks. There was the park at the library, the park in our subdivision and the play area at the zoo.
My approach to the park experience, especially since the boys have mastered them in a physical sense, is to step back and let the social politics of parkdom unfold without intervening.
This is so much easier said than done.
Since the boys are older, they handle themselves well for the most part. There is less threat of spontaneous smack-downs so I can relax a little.
The part that I have to watch myself is if any of the other kids attempt to be mean to my boys. I find that sometimes even the quiet girls holed up in the cubby at the top of the slide use words that cut like daggers.
Here’s what one such little girl said to T.Puzzle when he tried to use the slide. “You can’t come up here. You can never be here while we are here. You have to go away forever!”
I heard some defensive words start to creep up my throat and as they almost toppled from my mouth, I bit my tongue and took a step back. As much as I was longing to intervene, I wanted T.Puzzle to handle it. j
He did. He sort stepped over the girl and her unfortunate minions, and slid away. T.Puzzle and Full Speed continued to ignore the girls and their ridiculous demands.
I learned a lot watching them.
The best way to handle mean people is to ignore them and live your life.
Spend time with the people who support you and slide away as fast as you can from the ones who don’t.
A while back I mentioned how Mad Dog and I were amazed at the substantial overall improvement of the boys’ behavior. This improvement is most notable when on public outings or surrounded by a large group.
We attended a neighborhood cookout and our friend and host commented that she noticed a dramatic difference in them as well.
For example, neither had to sit in time-out for anything.
Not one time.
I couldn’t believe it.
Neither tried to tackle, maim, bite or wreak generalized havoc on each other or the rest of the kids in attendance.
Mad Dog and I actually got to sit back, relax and engage in adult conversation.
All over cheeseburgers, good company and a lovely March evening.
I do believe in miracles.
A spring break outing to the zoo where the boys continued their miraculous good behavior. They had cheeseburgers for lunch, too. Maybe the magic is hidden in the ground beef?
I have written many times about how I can’t relate to Full Speed’s ultra-competitive nature. With time and experience I’ve learned that even if I don’t understand it, I have to accept it.
Where I have yet to journey the path of acceptance in this realm, is when I’m attempting to have a leisurely family bike ride.
I'd like to say bike rides were simple when the boys were little and fit compactly into one handy bike trailer. But alas, within five minutes of launch Full Speed would be pounding on T.Puzzle who would resort to biting as his go-to defense. Good times.
We recently purchased a tandem trail-a-bike for T.Puzzle. T.Puzzle is content to ride in tandem with ol’ slow poke Mom. He’s just thankful to be out of the tiny baby bike seat. So is my backside. No more being kneed on a repetitive basis by T.Puzzle’s overgrown four year old limbs.
The ride to pizza was fine. The ride to the park even better. As long as Full Speed is riding tandem and in FRONT with Mad Dog, things in life are great.
Why not mix it up? Let’s give lil’ T.Puzzle his chance to shine and hop on with Dad on the ride home from the park.
This is when near disaster struck. Full Speed was so determined to beat T.Puzzle, he pedaled at a furious rate. Even if I stopped pedaling completely, Full Speed’s relentless legs propelled us to the lead. I didn’t mind at first. In fact I could already see the humor of the situation glaring back at me.
I lost my humor quickly when at a busy intersection Full Speed kept pedaling no matter how many times I yelled ‘STOP!’
Things turned even more unfunny as we maneuvered down our main subdivision street trying to avoid oncoming traffic and remain in a single file formation. As Mad Dog and T.Puzzle eased in front of us as a truck whooshed by, Full Speed let out a tantrumific cry. He was outraged and boy, did he let me know it.
That’s it. I was done. I pulled us over to the sidewalk, hopped off the bike and refused to ride in the insanity any longer.
Full Speed’s response?
He leapt off the bike and attempted to beat his Dad and his brother by foot.
And wouldn’t you know it? That little man almost beat them.
Now all I have to do is find a book on ‘How to Teach Two Strong-Willed, Independent Thinking Boys To Comply To Your Every Command’.
