Supporting you in motherhood, one little blog post at a time
Dear Reader,
You are the frosting on my cupcake.
You are the popcorn container around my popcorn.
You put the sprinkles on my doughnut.
Ok, so maybe I had some serious writer’s block today. And, maybe, just maybe, I stole these exact words from T.Puzzle’s Mother’s Day creation:
Now, go forth and contain the popcorn of the world!
As I watched T.Puzzle pummel his clothes into submission, there was little I could do to improve his laundry folding techniques. Neatness was not the objective here.
I let it go.
This is the key to happiness in life and in motherhood.
In this house, especially in regards to T.Puzzle, it also helps to have thick skin. You see T.Puzzle was born without a filter. While he is softening the crusty edges of his soul a bit as he grows older, he still needs direction when it comes to matters of the heart. I decided to take it upon myself to share a little guidance when it comes to signing my upcoming Mother’s Day card.
“Keep in mind, try not to only highlight the things I do for you, but rather what about me as a person that you love.”
Immediately, a lightbulb went off and he shared his plans to sign his card to me this way:
“Thank you for giving birth to the greatest human alive.”
Wow. I really am special.
Here’s to hoping all your ‘greatest humans alive’ honor you in the way you so deserve.
Happy Mother’s Day!
T.Puzzle needed me to sign a paper in his folder. I use the word ‘folder’ loosely here. While my occupations as a stay-at-home-mom and writer/dreamer/blogger have their busy work, I often have very little need for folders. Therefore, when I saw T.Puzzle’s ‘folder’, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was seeing:
Apparently he ‘stores’ it at the bottom of his backpack.
This may be where all paper-based products go to die.
Speaking of dying, this segues nicely into our little family weekend adventure. I have to preface this by saying that of my three boys, Mad Dog normally requires the least amount of supervision. I may have to change this policy to preserve his safety.
On Friday, Mad Dog had a routine root canal. He seemed to have the pain mostly managed and overall, had everything ‘under control’.
Shortly after when he took the allotted four ibupofren to manage pain, he realized he accidentally ingested four of his antibiotic pills instead.
He should have taken 300mgs, but decided to go all out with 1200mgs.
To save you time, here is what Google said:
1200mgs is the very top of what a doctor would prescribe and only in a dire, life-threatening bacterial infection kind of way. It said nothing about ingesting the 1200mgs as a way to threaten your own life in a general, absent-minded way.
Thankfully, Mad Dog made it safely through the night. Unfortunately, he nows move to the top of the list as being the most supervised of my three boys.
I am taking this opportunity to announce my plans to officially change my name to:
What’s For Dinner
Why you may ask?
This is because I have been asked this question so many times a new neural pathway has formed in my brain convincing me that this, in fact, must be my name.
News flash:
It isn’t.
The point I’m making is that a sure-fire way to get on my bad side is to ask me:
‘What’s for dinner?’
It isn’t that I’m opposed to the question in a general sense, but if that is the question you lead with 999 times out of a thousand, I’m not keen to respond in a pleasant manner. At least lead in with a ‘How was your day?’ or ‘Your yoga pants are particularly stylish today’.
Therefore, after a long night up with a dog with seemingly endless diarrhea (it all came out fine in the end), I explained to T.Puzzle over his after school snack I may have a short fuse as the evening progressed.
“So, I shouldn’t ask you what’s for dinner?”
And so he lived to see another day.
At breakfast we discussed T.Puzzle’s prospects of winning top honors for his class speech. I know it seems like a stretch if you recall the topics he considered as a theme (see No Lie). Much to my relief, he went with a speech about our two dogs. He did a great job overall and I promised if he made the top 5 of his class (which he did!), I’d post the speech here in its entirety. I kept our dogs names unchanged because it seemed more awesome that way.
Do you have dogs that wrestle each other? Well I do. Their names are Max and Nora. I’ll talk about how my family got them, about Max, and about Nora. Let me explain a little further.
First, my family got Max when I outgrew my allergies to our old dog Kisses. My family wanted to get Kisses back. So, we had to go to my Grandma’s house. We got Max too because he was also there. My family got Nora a year after Kisses passed. My mom was looking for a new dog on a website. It took a while but my mom finally found Nora. She came to our house and we decided to adopt her there because she was perfect.
Next, I’ll talk about Max. Max has black and a little white fur. He weighs about ten pounds and is 14 years old. Max is also a Shih Tzu that has a mustache. Max sleeps a lot and loves to follow my mom around everywhere. The only time Max plays is when my dad gets home from work, but when he does Nora gets mad and usually runs him over. Max is super happy to go on a walk. His little tail wags up in the air. If Nora gets too close he will bark or sometimes bite Nora. One thing Max always does is sit on the top of our couch that looks out the front window. He will bark crazily at squirrels or lizards. Max also recognizes my mom’s car when it pulls in the driveway. He will whimper very loud when he sees it. One time I made a scary movie trailer about Max so he is a movie star. Despite him being famous, he still loves my mom. Max always makes my family laugh when his face looks crazy after a nap.
Lastly, I’ll talk about Nora. Nora is a King Charles Cavalier/Bichon mix. She has white fur and some brown spots. Nora weighs eighteen pounds. She doesn’t like thunderstorms and she doesn’t do well in cars. Nora can be a spaz sometimes. She will wag her tail furiously at random dogs or people. She will also run like crazy and make weird noises. Nora also barks at the TV in my house. Nora can eat very fast and she will steal Max’s food. Whenever someone comes to my house, Nora will run and jump on them. One time Nora ripped an ear off a Yoda chew toy. My dad had to bring Nora to the vet, but Nora threw up the ear in his truck and was fine. My dad was mad but not for long because Nora always throws up in his truck. Nora is awesome because she always greets me when I get home from school. On a scale of one to ten, she is over nine thousand.
In conclusion, I have two amazing dogs. I talked about how my family got them, about Max, and about Nora. So, do you have dogs that sometimes act like they’re in the WWE?
I told you it was awesome!
And, yes, I’m completely objective.