Tag: kids

children, health, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Full (Speed) of Hot Air

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Children and gastrointestinal issues go hand in hand.  Mad Dog and I have witnessed this firsthand.

When Full Speed shared that his ‘tummy hurt’ and then proceeded to turn a sickly pale color, we changed our dinner plans.  Nevermind that we had only seconds before pulled into the restaurant parking lot and were ready to exit the car and head inside.

We weren’t in a gambling mood.

Instead we decided to grab some food at a drive-thru and eat at home.  That way if Full Speed had any issues, we would be out of the public’s always watching eyes and have access to cleaning products if the need should arise.

We couldn’t figure out if Full Speed was really ill.  He was pale and restrained one moment, then hyper and happy the next.

After we picked up our food and had it spread out on our kitchen table, a low rumbling noise began deep in the bowels of Full Speed.  It went on and on a rose with a vengence and a long-winded burp escaped from his lips (you could have spelled Mississippi fourteen times before it was over).  An embarrassed smile spread across his face as he smirked out the words, “Excuuuuse meeeee!”  Mad Dog and I could tell he instantly felt better as the color returned to his cheeks.

Aha!  Full Speed’s stomach ailment was solved.

If only all mysterious child illnesses and behaviors could be dissected so easily.

children, gratitude, happiness, humor, life in pictures, mommy cliques, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Trees

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Mad Dog and I had a date night planned so we could Christmas shop for the boys.  While at Super Target, Mad Dog lobbied for a miniature version of our Christmas tree for the boys’ room.

Full Speed and T.Puzzle were fast asleep when we returned home.  Mad Dog silently placed the small tree in their room. We tiptoed out and anxiously anticipated a big reaction once the tree was discovered in the morning.

They boys were dazzled.

There was much animated discussion on how the tree came to be in their room.  The idea that made the most sense were elves of course.

Later that morning T.Puzzle tried to explain to his teacher about the mysterious tree.

“Who do you think put it there?” she asked.

“I think it was robbers,” he suggested his eyes wide with certainty.

I love a good thief.  Not only did this ‘thief’ not steal a single item from our home, he or she left it beautifully decorated.

I guess crime does pay.

children, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, Taekwondo, terrible threes

Dreams with a Bite

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Oh, T.Puzzle.  There were times when I was nicknaming you for this blog, that unfortunately words like shark and razor tooth were at the top of the heap.  As I went through the catalogue of your gifts and idiosyncracies, a fascination with using your chompers for evil was a strong contender for possible names.

So happy I went the puzzle route instead.

We all dream our children will find their passion.  We hope they excell at whatever they choose to endeavor.

One of T.Puzzle’s favorite endeavors is to bite his brother.

It didn’t start out this way.  He used to bite about anyone or anything in his path.

I told you he was gifted.

Thankfully, except for the rare attempt here and there on innocent bystanders, he now seems to mostly isolate his attacks on Full Speed.

Is it bad that I’m secretly grateful he is only biting his brother?

I feel if he keeps it in our family there’s less chance of a lawsuit.

What’s a Mom to do?

I wrote an extremely unfavorable behavior report for tae kwon do about his recent double-biting-brother escapades over Thanksgiving break.

Here’s how it went down:

“First, let’s commend little Bobby for helping his sister with the dishes,” exclaimed the instructor as he rattled off the first exemplary behavior report.

“Wow, great job to little Jenny for being polite and using her manners,” he continued.

It went on and on.  One after the other did something more extraordinary than the student before him.

Until…

we got to T.Puzzle and his report of biting doom.

And this was when my other dream of having a child stand out in a crowd was fully realized.

Maybe it’s time to start shopping around for some new dreams.

bad day, children, humor, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, tantrums, terrible threes

Over It

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All Moms are familiar with the phenomenon that when one of your children is out of control, your remaining children become eerily angelic.  This is helpful because having one kid lose it is more than enough.

Then, there are the special days.  The days you are convinced that your children made some sort of evil pact to share the burden of dreadful behavior equally. Those are the days where all you can hope for is that you don’t lose your cool enough that the neighbors alert the authorities in some capacity.

First, it started with T.Puzzle.  He called his brother a ‘diaper head’ and ran screaming away and hid in a corner when I punished him for the name-calling.  I took away all of his stuffed animals and Thomas blanket and he screamed, “You’re mean!” at top volume.  This was later followed by a meltdown about sharing a toy riding car.  I had to carry him kicking and screaming to his room for punishment.

I could already feel how special the day was becoming.

He eventually pulled it together.

Great, I thought.  Now we can enjoy this awesome weather with friends and look forward to our dinner out with Mad Dog.

Post T.Puzzle meltdown. Miss Cutie enjoys the calm and a ride before Full Speed's turn to lose it.

Well,.. Full Speed decided to get in to the act.  He was glorious in his sassiness, which started because he lost a game of Red Light, Green Light.  The unfortunate power struggles and tantrums that ensued culminated in him screaming, “I never want to live in this house again!”  Oh, and he also hit me.  A knock-down, oh-no-he-didn’t veritable knick-knack patty-whack across my back.

We didn’t go to dinner (foiled again!!!), they went to bed so early I’m pretty sure I heard the faint whisperings of the five o’clock news in the background, and I dropped to my knees and prayed to my God (Supernanny) for guidance.

Some days are good, some days you wish you ‘never want to live in your house again!’, and some days are better when they are over.

children, gratitude, marriage, mommyhood, motherhood

A Clean Conscience

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It has been a gorgeous weekend.  I have been outside with the boys watching them play in our cul-de-sac for hours and hours.  Our neighbors have been out to keep us company.

I asked my one neighbor if Mad Dog calls her to come and talk to me.  That way he can go inside without guilt and watch football.  She claims he does not but her timing seems to coincide with important Buckeye games.

It starts with the boys grabbing their bikes and I’ll start chatting with my neighbor.  Mad Dog silently sidles up to us with a lawn chair and powerade for me.  He casually sets it in the shade as I am a contradictory Florida girl who prefers shade to direct sunlight.  He stands a moment or two and like a henchman for Don Corleone, waits for his boss to nod his dismissal.

I always grant his discharge.  I can’t say it’s without a grudge but it sure beats sitting inside on a gorgeous day watching a football game (in my not-so-humble opinion).

When I was outside this afternoon he not only watched football, he cleaned the house and did laundry.  He’s leaving for a business trip in a few hours and will be gone most of the week.

Clean house, clean conscience I suppose.