If you are new to this blog, meet Full Speed and T.Puzzle. The most calm and quiet brothers you will ever know who always, always behave. For everyone else, please disregard my previous posts. It's time to wipe the slate clean.
We made it. To IHOP that is. The boys were well behaved, the food good and we met some friends there as well.
Full Speed and T.Puzzle were excellent.
Let me repeat that.
Full Speed and T.Puzzle were excellent.
We went to Full Speed’s book fair after IHOP and you will never guess. They were excellent there, too. I mean really, really good. It was swarming with people and chaos. They never wandered far from my side and patiently ( yes, that’s right, I said patiently) waited in the very long line to purchase our books.
You could have knocked me over with a feather.
We came home, got in our pjs and curled up to read our new books.
I couldn’t have written a better ending to our night so I won’t.
I’m feeling nervous. I have been cracking down on the boys and their behavior and frankly, the only thing that is close to cracking is me. But that’s not why I’m nervous.
I told Full Speed and T.Puzzle that they need excellent reports from school so we can go to IHOP for dinner. No exceptions. I need a ‘blue’ day from Full Speed, blue being the absolute best mark you can get in kindergarten, and I need an excellent report from T.Puzzle’s teacher. If not, no pancakes no how.
So you see I’m nervous because I don’t want to have to follow through with my threat. It’s not that I’m jonesing for pancakes for dinner. It’s that I’m jonesing for my kitchen to remain mess-free.
However, I guess the real punishment if I get negative school reports won’t be so much that the boys won’t go to IHOP and my kitchen will be messy, but that I would have to cook for them.
Like nails on a chalkboard. That’s the only way I can describe T.Puzzle’s onslaught of questions concerning his assorted punishments. I picked him up from school and when it was time to go, he decided that he wasn’t in the mood. He dragged his sorry self down the hallway and folded into a heap of sorrow about half-way down. I informed him that he would lose his crocs for tomorrow and would be sent to his room when we returned home. He screamed at top volume all the way home. This only lengthened the amount of time he would be spending in his room, expedited his bedtime hour and contributed to a loss of his other privileges.
After I managed to get Full Speed off to tae kwon do with Mad Dog, I allowed a seemingly defeated T.Puzzle to come to the table for dinner.
“Why can’t I have my Thomas (the Train) color book?”
“Why can’t I have my animals?”
“Why can’t I have my crocs?”
“Why can’t I have a treat?”
“Why can’t I watch TV?”
“Why can’t I stay up late?”
“Why? Why? Why?”
I tried to ignore him, but my ears couldn’t take it. Not after all the high-volume screaming they had already endured. I tried to tell him to be quiet. I tried to calmly explain the reasons for the loss of his privileges.
Among close friends and family I am considered a bit of a drill sergeant when it comes to discipline. My decisions on structure and punishment are based on the temperaments of my boys. They are extremely assertive, directive, confident and obstinately stubborn. If I don’t establish my role as an authority figure now, where will I be in five years? How about ten?
Disciplining is not fun. A lot of the rules I make are very unpopular.
For the most part my diligence to rules and consequences has paid off. It’s been exhausting and even harrowing at times, but it seems to have set a good foundation for my boys.
I need to take it to the next level. Full Speed and T.Puzzle follow rules fairly well. It’s their respect of authority that needs some tweaking. They apparently did not get them memo that they are children. Therefore other adults, including myself, are not their peers.
To achieve a stronger sense of authority with my boys I put some new rules in place.
They are pretty simple really. If Full Speed gives me what we refer to as a ‘stinky face’ he goes to bed before little T.Puzzle.
Stinky Face in the house!
If little T.Puzzle tells me ‘no!’ to any of my requests throughout the day, he loses the privilege of wearing his beloved crocs for a day.
The real kickers are my rules about sibling expectations. Anyone who comes to me to complain or report of a fight gets sent to their room, as well as their brother, for five minutes. It doesn’t matter who starts it, who does what or who tells on whom. Both boys are sent off with no trial and no questions. If this happens three times in one day they lose their privilege of a show and and a treat.
Let me tell you, Full Speed is not happy. He has already informed me that my new rules are ‘too hard!’ and ‘that he doesn’t want to be in this family anymore’.
One of the most challenging tenets of motherhood is to learn that it’s not my job to make my kids happy. It’s to make them be responsible for themselves and their actions.
Wish me luck! Now that I’ve publicly posted this for all two of you to read, I guess I have to stick to my guns. Anyone happen to have that Betty Ford number on hand by the way?
Rules are hard. First time-out of the day for a sibling infraction. It was only 7 a.m.
