Tag: parenthood

children, health, mommyhood, parenting

Ad Nauseum

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Full Speed seems rife with imaginary stomach ailments as of late.  I believe his symptoms are being caused by an acute case of brotherly jealousitis.  Apparently watching your little brother get doted on post-surgery as well as getting to stay home with Mom during his recovery is enough to make any older brother’s stomach ‘hurt’.

Full Speed feebly tried to play the sick card this morning only to be revitalized by the promise of a PB&J sandwich in his packed lunch.  Upon his return home from the school day he gave a convincing performance that he was going to ‘PUKE!’ (which he never did but boy did he make me scramble) and needed several moments of quiet rest upstairs (which required being ‘checked-on’ ad nauseum by me).

He ‘rested’ 10 minutes tops and then he was miraculously ‘better’.  You should have seen the way he inhaled his dinner.  He was like a mini-human vacuum.  That put all concerns about the health of his stomach to rest.

My hope is side effects of brotherly jealousitis may include drowsiness, reduced opinion making and total compliance with maternal demands.

That is so beyond the realm of possibility I just made my own stomach hurt.

children, gratitude, humor, mommyhood, parenting

Designated Spaces

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The Atlantic Ocean.
Image via Wikipedia

For sake of the imagination and in the interest of a unique outing, Mad Dog and I took the boys to view some model condominiums near the ocean.  This is not to say we are purchasing one, it’s just fun to look.

Full Speed and T.Puzzle immediately charmed our saleslady and happily traipsed around the grounds of the complex.  They met each model condo with overwhelming enthusiasm.  T.Puzzle showed a special affinity for the appliances.

“Ta da!” he exclaimed as he opened a small closet housing a stacked washer/dryer.   Or, he would say, “Oooooh, look at the refrigerator.  Isn’t it cool??”  Full Speed was more interested in the bedrooms and somehow always managed to pinpoint the master suite and claim it as his own.

We saw three with furniture and our last stop had the best view and was completely unfurnished.  This was the boys’ favorite.  It had the most open space and therefore they set to work claiming which rooms were designated karate rooms (this apparently turned out to be all of them but the kitchen) and the area near the fireplace in living room was the best place for a wrestling ring.

We commented to the saleslady that it was time to wrap things up as the boys were close to their breaking point.

“When they start acting like this, it means that either they need food or a sedative,” I quipped.  I’m glad she laughed and realized I was kidding.  Sometimes people take my humor literally and that can be very awkward especially if you are trying to show that you can responsibly pay a mortgage.

In the end as we were seated at lunch, Mad Dog and I agreed the third furnished condo was our fave.  Full Speed looked at us and said, “My favorite was the one with the karate rooms.”

Of course.

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children, parenting, terrible threes

The Truth

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We were at brunch and as awful as this sounds, I was happy that little T.Puzzle was annoying the heck out of Mad Dog. Not because Mad Dog was annoyed but it validated the short fuse I’ve had with T.Puzzle for the past several days. Lately I’ve been feeling ready to lose it over any minor infraction of his. So maybe it isn’t all me. Maybe lots of it has to do with him and his recent behavior set.

Mad Dog’s patience was clearly being tested. It started with little T.Puzzle launching a purposeful flick of white milk across our table. Then he deliberately thumbed a hole in the side of his cup. This allowed a pool of milk to collect in the center of our table. To top off this double display of insolence, as Mad Dog was trying to discipline him, little T.Puzzle  kicked him. Mad Dog kept his cool and threatened consequences in hushed tones just as the waitress came to check in on our table. She notes the damaged cup and says she will replace it. Mad Dog says that yes it was broken and a replacement would be great.

This is the moment that little T.Puzzle decides to repent. “I’m sorry, Daddy! I’m sorry!” He says it in such a pitiful way that in the eyes of the waitress he is a sweet, gentle soul asking for forgiveness over his ‘accidental’ broken cup. It also appears that we are mad at him for ‘accidentally’ breaking his cup and that is why Mad Dog is talking to him so harshly. The waitress and her sympathy are almost palpable.

Mad Dog and I both roll our eyes.

I say, “Trust us, he’s all game. You didn’t see the five minutes (or the attempted kick) leading up to this moment. He appears a lot more sweet than he actually is.”

Believe me, the truth hurts.

children, mommyhood, parenting

The Loooong Weekend

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At the start of the long weekend Mad Dog said, “Are you ready to have three vacation days in a row?”

Not exactly.

For me the long holiday weekend means that I have to keep my boys occupied and active for three straight days. In the mornings we hit the ground running and it doesn’t stop until their bedtime (which thankfully, they are great about). I’m not complaining but let’s call a spade a spade. If I really were to have three vacation days in a row, you would find me at a spa under an assumed name where no one could reach me.

So, Mad Dog and I diligently planned numerous outings and activities for them (it certainly helped when Grandma and Grandpa took them to see Shrek). We took them to the gym (they love the play area there), we had friends over, we played tickle monster and hide and seek, and they played computer games, trains and car chase. To top that off, we interspersed our outings and games with the occasional movie viewing at home. On the third day we attended a very active outdoor festival and by four o’clock, we all had hit a wall. Even though Mad Dog and I were bumping up against exhaustion, we still needed to occupy the boys until bedtime which we seriously considered moving to 5:30 (I even threw out 5:15).

While Mad Dog prepared dinner (thank you, Mad Dog), I showered the boys and then we all sat down to eat. By the time it was over, we still had hours until bedtime. Meltdowns were popping up, patience was being tested and frankly, I was ready to leave for my real vacation.