children, parenting, self care (or lack thereof)

Shout Out to Mad Dog

Mad Dog could tell I was about to lose it. I was unsuccessfully trying to get little T.Puzzle to poop on the potty, which let’s be real, may not happen until he reaches puberty, and Full Speed was not helping the situation. Both boys were fighting and misbehaving and I couldn’t take it anymore.

That’s when Mad Dog took over. He told me he would watch the boys for the afternoon and made me some appointments at the spa. Then, when I returned, he hired a babysitter and took me to a lovely dinner.

Before he took over, Mad Dog announced, “Boys, you will be spending the afternoon with your father. It will be just the guys.”

Little T.Puzzle looked befuddled. “You’re not my father,” he said. We all stopped and looked at him trying to figure out what he was getting at. “You are my DADDY!” Oh, well that makes sense I guess.

I had a wonderful time at the spa. I even went to the shops they had nearby. It is an amazing feeling to walk into a store and not have to worry about spontaneous wrestling or the possible breakage of merchandise. I’m telling you it’s the little things like this that bring out the most joy in life.

When it was time to hand over the little men to the care of the babysitter, I was filled with apprehension. Not because of her, she was perfectly kind. It was BECAUSE she was perfectly kind. I worried the boys would be so out of control she would be tempted to toss them over the balcony. They really hadn’t behaved very well for the past several days. I could also tell by Mad Dog’s wearied expression and the shortness of his fuse that the boys had been in their full glory for their afternoon of ‘just the guys’.

While Mad Dog and I dined, I expressed my frustration with little T.Puzzle’s terrible threeness and Full Speed’s naughtiness. I was feeling like quite a failure in the motherhood department and was just about ready to quit my ‘job’ and outsource it to a nanny, neighbor or relative. I let it go after a bit. I think the two glasses of wine with dinner helped me to do so.

When we returned to our room, I cautiously crossed the threshold and waited to hear the horrible tales of what had transpired in our absence. And you know what? The babysitter had nothing but positive things to say. In fact what she said was glowing. My boys were ‘incredibly sweet’, ‘got along and played together great’, ‘were courteous’ and she even went so far as to say I was doing a good job as a Mom. I bit my tongue because my sarcasm was screaming for me to ask her if she had tripped at some point and had hit her head. I couldn’t fathom that the two boys I left behind were so amazingly well-behaved. It felt really good to have an outsider approve of the job I’m doing after a rough couple of days.

So, now we are wrapping up our family vacation adventure. We started our day off with a room-service breakfast which the boys ate out on the balcony. Yum!

Then, it was time to take my two over-the-top and thankfully, very cute and lovable boys, pack them up and hit the road for home. And, I know the adventure doesn’t end even though our vacation did.

children, parenting

Sleep Disturbance

You know when you first wake up from a deep sleep and you’re kind of groggy and not yet fully conscious? Well, Full Speed used this to his advantage. He comes waltzing in our bedroom at around two in the morning and directs me to move over. I comply. I do so because I am tired and completely out of it and he is so sure of himself and his direction, I assume he must know what he is talking about. We proceed to doze for the next forty-five minutes or so. Full Speed taps me on the shoulder and insists that he needs to be placed in between me and Mad Dog. Now, I’m fully awake and a dawn of understanding creeps over me. Why on earth is Full Speed in my bed? Why is he telling me where he can and can’t sleep in relation to me and Mad Dog?

It seems he sensed an opening and took it. He would have gotten away with it until he upped the ante and wanted to be in between Mad Dog and myself. He should have quit while he was ahead.

Mad Dog and I still don’t understand why he came in our room anyway. Was he scared? Was he lonely? Who knows why. Next time I hope I snap to my senses a mite bit sooner. Even in the dark of night, I swear my kids are out to get me.

children, parenting

Did That Just Happen?

Mad Dog was home early to kick-off our weekend. He and I picked up the boys and after a slightly heated debate, landed on going to a Japanese hibachi restaurant. I like Japanese food and am thrilled that we don’t have to worry about egg cross-contamination for little T.Puzzle anymore. However, I’m not a big fan of flames shooting near my face (or the faces of my children for that matter), I don’t like having to catch food with my mouth (if you’ve done hibachi, you know exactly what I mean) and when I’m with my boys, I don’t enjoy the communal seating arrangement. My boys are too unpredictable to be seated at a table around a huge, scorching hot grill with strangers who may not understand that their boisterous nature is not malicious, it just is.

Case in point, we are seated with a family of three who had one boy. He appeared older and more calm than my boys. Even so, the parents didn’t flinch once as Full Speed launched his hotwheels at my plate and little T.Puzzle repeatedly stabbed Mad Dog with his fork (turned out that was his signal that he would like more chicken, please). But before we even got into the heart of the hibachi experience, a young couple was seated at our table. It took them less than two minutes to assess my children and they promptly asked to be relocated.

I was slightly indignant. Granted, the boys were in all their glory, but they calmed down nicely once their food arrived. I didn’t know going into the meal that they would be so well-behaved so I don’t have solid grounds for my indignation.

Still, did that just happen?

humor, parenting

The Subtle Hint

We are all in our truck happy to be reunited as we travel along. Full Speed wants to play a game. He is thinking of a car and wants Mad Dog to guess what it is.

Mad Dog: “Corvette?”

Full Speed: “No!”

MD: “Dodge Viper?”

Full Speed: “No!”

MD: “Ferrari?”

Full Speed: “No!”

Mad Dog proceeds to list several of the usual suspects of Full Speed’s favorite kinds of cars. Full Speed is starting to get impatient but he closely guards the car’s identity.

This keeps going for quite some time with no end in sight. Little T.Puzzle joins in but honestly, he’s not very helpful. He keeps shouting “Thomas! (the Tank Engine) repeatedly at random intervals. This isn’t right of course, but it is kind of funny.

I feel bad for Mad Dog and sense Full Speed’s rising frustration so I join in and start adding to the ever-growing list of possible cars.

Still, no luck. It’s getting to the point of ridiculous.

Finally, Full Speed announces a clue.

Full Speed: “It has police lights on it.”

So much for subtlety.