Tag: raising boys

children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Changing of the Guard

WFAM

The shift has been subtle.  Slowly, over the past couple of years, T.Puzzle and Full Speed have started to watch more and more football with Mad Dog.   It works out well for me because now Mad Dog has his built-in crew ready to watch his Buckeyes on game day.

This past weekend, I actually voluntarily decided to watch the Buckeyes play Northwestern.  I am partial to the ‘Land of Lincoln’ since it is where I grew up and was curious to see how the brainiacs of Mad Dog’s alma mater stacked up against his beloved Buckeyes.  While I was watching, I noticed something remarkable.   Of course the game was exciting, but what I found more entertaining were the spontaneous conversations I had with my boys.  The highlights were when T.Puzzle sat next to me and actually gently petted one of our dogs and chatted with me quietly.  I also enjoyed showing Full Speed the original and extremely more awesome version of the McDonald’s commercial which pits elite athletes in a showdown for food.   The 1993 Michael Jordan/Larry Bird commercial far outshines the current commercial with quarterbacks Joe Flacco and Colin Kaepernick.  Full Speed and I were in stitches as Jordan and Bird one-upped each other in a ridiculous ‘nothing but net’ sort of way.

It seems that I am faced with a serious football choice.  I have decided for the remainder of the season to watch the Buckeyes with my guys.  It’s inevitable that the changing of the guard has happened.  It’s obvious my boys are starting to prefer their ‘guy time’ over sitting-quietly-and-reading-with-Mom-time.  What’s a girl to do?  Get her Buckeye jersey on and cheer like her life depends on it.  Well, at least her quality time with her boys does.

ry=400-8
The three of us in much younger days dressed in our Buckeye gear
Related articles
children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Art of Raising Boys

WFAM

ry=400-1As I navigate the sometimes choppy waters of raising boys, I’m often left wondering if I’m a balanced disciplinarian.  There’s a fine line between boys just being boys and blatantly disrespectful behavior.  I don’t want to live my life as Captain of the ‘No-Fun-Ever’ Police, but I also don’t want my boys to run wild.  I never know if I’m getting it right.

Here’s a list of common behaviors that fall into a gray area and how I view them.

1.  Wrestling constantly with your brother usually in a light-hearted manner.  ACCEPTABLE

2.  Yanking your brother’s glasses off his face while wrestling and tossing them across the room.  UNACCEPTABLE

3. Passing gas on command and cracking up endlessly.  Depends on the context and thankfully, it’s rare, so I usually let this one slide.  Do I understand the hilarity of it?  Never.

4.  Thinking you are AWESOME at everything.  ACCEPTABLE

5.  Smacking your booty every time you complete a math problem on the computer.  To clarify, only T.Puzzle does this.  I think it’s crazy and I do my best to ignore it.  At least he’s doing something academic, right?

6.  Arguing when told to do something.  Unequivocally UNACCEPTABLE.  This issue alone is the main reason my boys have come to know time-out and consequences intimately.

7.  Crying or having a terrible attitude when you lose.  UNACCEPTABLE

8.  The weird inability to pay attention to what I tell them to do.  As soon as a direction has left my mouth, I usually am asked 27 detailed, repetitive questions about what I just said.  As long as they comply with a good attitude, I chalk it up to that male quality that renders them deaf to the sound of female voices.

9.  Being averse to hugs and kisses from their Mom.  UNACCEPTABLE  They have to suck it up.  Just like I know they won’t change some aspects of who they are, neither will I.  Full Speed is politely resigned to my affections.  T.Puzzle is a little more squirmily defiant.  Either way, it’s happening.

10. Giving corrective feedback.  Well, if I married Mad Dog, the king of subtle, corrective feedback (an influencing genius if you will), then, can I really be shocked his boys share this trait?  I usually let it slide but if they catch me on a bad day, all bets are off.  For some reason, I’m much less open to Mad Dog’s feedback than the boys’.  Go figure.

I hope one day that my boys will be parents.  Ideally, they will have only girls and will be as confused as I am.

family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Setting the Bar Low

WFAM

Sometimes I exasperate myself wishing my boys would pay attention to me.  It’s frustrating when you instruct your kid to put their dirty laundry in the utility sink (located conveniently in the laundry room), and instead, it winds up in an unsanitary heap in your kitchen sink.  Yuck.  The only way I can remotely relate to this lack of attention to detail, is when Mad Dog spouts off some football score that I am specifically supposed to tell the boys about in the morning.  Of course, the first thing they ask me when bounding downstairs is, “Mom, did they win?”  I respond with a quick, “Sure!” and then a moment later, realize that no, such and such team did not win.  “Sorry, guys, but I meant to say they lost.”

“Well, what was the score, then?” they chime together.

Whoa!  I’m supposed to remember who won AND the score?

I think it might be helpful if everyone took a deep breath and lowered their expectations.  Then again, dirty laundry in my kitchen sink?  Really?

children, humor, motherhood, parenting

Rules Were Made to be Broken

WFAM

Yesterday a new love seat arrived for our family room.  It is very comfortable and has motorized foot rests.  Of course before Mad Dog and I could allow ourselves to enjoy it, our first priority was to set ground rules with the boys on how to treat this new piece of furniture.

1.  No jumping, fighting or standing on the love seat

2.  Do not play with the button for the footrests, this is not a new spaceship toy

3.  Sitting next to Mom is allowed but only if you can do so calmly and quietly (this usually lasts for about five minutes until I end up with a foot, yes, I said foot, in my eyeball)

Of course following these rules can be quiet a challenge.  I watched as T.Puzzle sat on the arm of our couch ready to launch himself at full force on the love seat.

“Whoa, hold on there, T.Puzzle.  Remember, no jumping allowed!” I said rather forcefully.

“I wasn’t going to jump, Mom.  I was going to swing.”

And with that, he grabbed the couch arm like a pommel horse and before I could stop him, swung his legs in a perfect arc landing squarely seated on the love seat.  It actually was quite athletic.  If I would have been watching these shenanigans in a different venue I may have been inclined to award him a bronze medal.

Looks like we’re back to the drawing board on our list of rules…

T.Puzzle as a baby swinging in the proper context
children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Agree to Disagree

WFAM

Even though I am a mother of two boys, I don’t understand them.  Not even in the slightest.

For example, I don’t understand random, inappropriate bodily functions at the dinner table.  I don’t understand them nor do I find them rip-roaring hilarious like my boys do.

I also don’t understand how Full Speed allowed the following to happen.  He had sustained a fairly painful knee injury at school.  Of course I gave him a generous amount of motherly sympathy and asked him how it happened.

“Well, I asked two of my friends if they could beat me up,” he replied as if this was the most normal thing in the world. 

Apparently his friends were quite successful thus the ‘terrible’ knee injury.

I asked him why he did that.

“I don’t know,” he said.

In all my years on this planet I have never once asked anyone, let alone multiple people, to beat me up.  I told Full Speed exactly that.

He smiled and shrugged at me.  I sensed he thought I might be missing out on a valuable life experience.

 Agree to disagree.