raising kids – Page 2 – Writes for all Mommies

Life Lessons of 2017

19/12/201719/02/2018 WFAM

It’s hard to believe, but another year is drawing to a close. To date, this has been a year of tremendous change as Full Speed became a teenager (!) and T.Puzzle jumped more solidly into the double-digit realm. It’s not the age-number per say, 13 and 11 respectively, but the growth and maturation I’ve seen from them. It’s been a lot to process as I am seeing more clearly the young men they are becoming.

A7DF3A67-8BB0-49EE-849B-612E7ACCB4B0 — Full Speed is on the left, T.Puzzle on right

T.Puzzle continues to surprise us. He developed a love of distance running. How Mad Dog and I produced a distance runner is still a bit mystifying, but it is awesome that T.Puzzle is finding his own interests and pursuits. LEGO construction and playing video games remain firmly at the top of his list, but nice to know that he likes to get up and go sometimes, too.

Full Speed became a middle-schooler this year (it starts in seventh grade in our region) and he has adjusted beautifully. He shows leadership to his classmates willingly coaching them through Algebra assignments, and has a zest for presentations in class. A recent assignment in Civics had him debating school politics and he was in his zone. Leadership qualities and a passionate debater, hmmm…does that sound like anyone we might know? He also learned that not every dream is realized as he tried out for his school’s soccer team and didn’t make the cut. My favorite part about this life lesson was his genuine happiness for a long-time friend and classmate who did make the team this year. It’s not to say Full Speed’s given up on soccer forever, but oh my, isn’t there a wonderful world of possibilities out there waiting for him?

One of the very best parts of 2017 was the addition of our newest family member, Miss Lady. She is by no means a perfect dog, but she absolutely has been the perfect dog for our family. She keeps things lively here which I’m not so sure our senior resident (Little Guy) appreciates.

3031893F-3A67-4894-B7CE-444A5C6877F2 — Little Guy’s shocked expression captures the essence of his disbelief at the amount of his new sister’s energy.

If you ever need to feel like you are the most amazing being alive, come on over and hang out at our house for a while, Miss Lady will not disappoint with her enthusiastic snuggles and love for you.

778F5487-A0BD-46AF-AB13-8185FA177047 — Miss Lady is as sweet as she looks.

Mad Dog continues to travel all over America and then some as the scope of the call centers he oversees grows and grows. As hard as it is to be away from him sometimes, I see how fulfilling his position is and know it is keeping him challenged and inspired. That’s truly all I want for all three of my boys, to be challenged and inspired.

As for me, I’ve made a little more space in my life for the things I enjoy. I continue to walk our dogs every day, have started a daily yoga routine and write as much as possible.

Life is short so whatever brings us joy is absolutely what we should pursue. It’s as simple as that.

Hope you had beauty-filled 2017 and that the lessons that lie ahead for all of us keep us growing in the direction of love.

Happy Holidays!

children, family, humor, motherhood

Hot Stuff

22/05/2017 WFAM

There’s something about a margarita that makes an ordinary weekend feel like a vacation. As the thick air enveloped the patio of my favorite Mexican restaurant, I savored the tang of salt that lined my delicious cocktail. I was hanging with my three favorite guys and munching on chips and salsa…life was good.

Mad Dog raised his glass to meet mine. He looked to our boys and asked, “What should we toast to your Mom?”

T.Puzzle jumped right in, “Make a toast to the greatest human alive….me.”

Mad Dog said, “This is supposed to be about your Mom, not you.”

T.Puzzle replied, “Well, I guess we can pretend you are the greatest human alive if that would make you feel good, Mom.”

More tequila please.

No matter, I laughed out loud. This was even before the margarita had worked its way into my system.

The meal and conversation progressed beautifully. I ate all the things I don’t normally allow myself to and it was divine. I asked Mad Dog his thoughts on his spicy jalapeÃ±o drink and he said it was good. It had been garnished with a pepper that had remained free and clear of the drink itself. This is when Full Speed boldly declared that he would give eating the garnish a shot.

We warned him but also applauded his bravery.

Things quickly went south.

His face drained of all color. He was losing control ever so slightly. It started out slow and then reached max capacity.

I did the only natural thing a mother would do after imbibing on a way-too-strong drink.

I giggled.

I had the worst (best?) giggle fit of my life. The more Full Speed looked like he might expire lent to another torrent of giggles.

At that moment I knew I really was the greatest human alive, but maybe not the greatest mom alive.

Still, this picture…worth a thousand words!

Full Speed made a complete recovery. Thankfully he had the strength to play Xbox later that afternoon.ðŸ™ŒðŸ»

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Truth!

15/02/2017 WFAM

In addition to cleaning out my closets, I have been cleaning up my blog. I have a newly updated About page which you can read here:

ABOUT

I went through my first year of posts to edit the boys’ names. I originally referred to them as Frick and Frack. These were the nicknames my mom gave them when they were very little. You could see how this could become confusing to a reader so I went back through and updated their names to Full Speed and T.Puzzle. There are a lot of posts in that first year that made me laugh out loud and made my heart swell with love. There are touching posts, posts about the loss of my mother and posts about how Mad Dog is always right (not really!) and as a married couple we never fight (no comment!). There are some posts I read through where I cringed and broke out in a cold sweat. It was like I was right back in it. Reliving those vivid details of some of the epic power struggles I endured with my boys (especially T.Puzzle at the onset of his terrible threes) was not for the faint of heart. After reading these I fully understand why I never felt compelled to expand my brood. However, I am deeply grateful for the two that I have. One of the biggest takeaways in terms of my parenting abilities is NEVER ASK ME HOW TO POTTY TRAIN! I failed repeatedly and miserably not once but twice. There was a point in time that I wondered if I should buy stock in Pull-Ups as I was fairly certain my boys would be wearing them FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES! Again, I could not do that again. Two is my absolute limit. I heard the Pull-Ups people were really bummed to hear that.

T.Puzzle is stunned that he actually learned to use the potty.

There were some stand-out posts and there were some where I was clearly phoning it in. However, there was one in particular that floored me. It is the one I wrote on the year anniversary of Writes for All Mommies’ inception date. Here is my favorite passage from it:

I think the biggest change for me has been coming to terms with motherhood. I think sometimes when we are unhappy with who we are, we blame our choices and our circumstances. I will admit, especially in the newborn years, I struggled with my all-consuming role as a mother. I thought that maybe if I had made some different choices, like continuing to work or if I was somehow parenting better, I would feel happier. Turns out, it wasn’t my boys or motherhood, it was me. It doesn’t matter what I accomplish outside of motherhood that determines my value, it is ultimately up to me to determine that. Whether I become a world-famous author or if all I manage is to raise two, well-adjusted boys, my value remains constant. I get that now.

Truth is timeless. That is for sure.

You can read the post in its entirety here:

HAPPY BLOG-A-VERSARY TO ME!

From this I would like to take it one step further. What if I actually don’t have to do a thing to prove my value? What if our value is actually tied to who we are and not what we do? Is it possible my value was already locked down before I even decided to have kids or pour my heart out on my laptop keyboard?

I now know this is not only possible, it is absolute truth.

It’s true for all of us.

Sending love to you all.

motherhood

The G.O.A.T.

10/10/201607/05/2018 WFAM

Some evenings the stars do not align and my boys have practices at different times. This is never a problem if Full Speed is the one waiting for his start time. All I have to do is bring a book for him and he is content to wait it out. T.Puzzle is more complicated. Sometimes he likes books and sometimes he hates them. Sometimes he’s chatty and sometimes he is belligerently bored. And, being that I am a stubborn sort myself, I don’t allow electronics during the week. Basically, I’m stuck with him for better or for worse. Recently, I’ve been able to embrace this time with him a little bit more. Working on word puzzles with him is a good bet and I find his self-centric worldview to be incredibly entertaining.

As we were sitting in my car waiting for his practice time I was overcome by a wave of love for him. You remember the kind maybe? It’s like that moment when you crept into your child’s room to gaze upon them when they were small and peacefully asleep. Watching the sweet rise and fall of their chest made you feel like your heart would burst right out of yours. That is the best feeling and one I felt I wanted to share.

“You are so cute!” I gushed.

T.Puzzle’s instant response with dimples blazing, “I know.”

This kid. He thinks he is the G.O.A.T. (the greatest of all time).

A few weeks back I got a call from his school informing me he had hit his head. All was well but recently he asked me about it. How did I know he didn’t have a concussion? I said that the school nurse had asked him a bunch of questions that he answered correctly which indicated he was fine. What were the questions he wanted to know?

“Well, she asked you who your favorite person in the whole world was and you said ‘my mom’ and that’s how we knew you were okay.”

“I know you are lying, Mom. That couldn’t be true. If the nurse did ask me that the answer wouldn’t be you, it would be me. I am my favorite person in the whole world.”

A G.O.A.T. is born.

Mr. GOAT’s sunscreen application he insisted he DO IT HIMSELF!

children, humor, motherhood

64 lbs

15/11/201515/11/2015 WFAM

A 5’6 twelve-year-old is a sight to behold. Especially in a sea of more average to small-framed kids usually seen at any given game for a U12 flag football team. Full Speed’s rather tall teammate is a huge offensive and defensive weapon. The QB only needs to launch the ball in the general vicinity of him and his giant wingspan and leaping ability almost guarantee a completion. Needless to say, it’s been a very fun season for Full Speed and his winning team.

When the news broke that our super receiver and starting QB couldn’t attend Saturday’s game, we all began to wonder how we would fare without them. My friend’s son would step in as QB, and while he had experience in this slot with previous teams, he had never run routes with this current team. And, coupled with missing our surefire receiver, where does that leave the team? Pinning our hopes and dreams on the crazy fast quickness of Full Speed.

The night before the game Full Speed’s coach had pulled him aside. He warned him to get a good night’s sleep and be prepared for a lot of hand-offs. Mad Dog and I were a little perplexed. Full Speed averaged about ten runs a game and was pretty successful even scoring an occasional touchdown, but how many more runs did that mean? Twenty? Thirty?

Oh my.

The morning of the game Full Speed pounded on our bedroom door earlier than expected.

“Can I get up now? I know it’s early but I’m too pumped up for the game to sleep.”

Oh my.

Before a game, Full Speed becomes silently serious. On the ride to the fields he was a ball of nerves and I could tell he was doing his best to be focused and brave. I didn’t know what to think. On one hand, I knew that Full Speed, as do all of us, have this remarkable capacity to step up our game when needed. On the other hand, I prayed that at least the team would remain competitive, would have a chance for other players to shine and that some positive lessons about heart and effort would be learned.

At the coin toss, the other team won possession. My stomach gave a nervous little lurch as the refs lined up the teams for the first snap. Right out of the gate the opposition passed the ball to midfield where a player handily snagged it and ran for a touchdown. I cringed as the player zipped into the end zone and worried that this was going to set the tone for the game.

Full Speed’s team lined up to hopefully answer. It seemed like a longshot. Mad Dog and I knew Full Speed was getting the ball as his right hand twitched with nervous anticipation. Then, it was on. He was off to the races. He zigged, he zagged, he juked and he spun. He kicked into this extraordinary high gear and broke the ankles of players twice his size. They all were left standing in his wake confused that this little dynamo couldn’t be caught. He ran and ran, then he ran some more. We could hear the QB say, ‘I don’t need to pass, it’s fun to watch Full Speed run all over the field.’ To the QB’s credit, as well as all the other members of the team, they all gave tremendous effort when it was needed. Even a player not known for speed, lumbered his way for an impressive gain. The other team backed off for fear of being run over. His parents were seated next to me and said that his recent growth spurt had him weighing in at 118 lbs. Full Speed weighs 64.

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

-Mark Twain

By game’s end, Full Speed had four touchdowns, countless runs and who knows how many Heisman worthy yards gained all leading to victory.

If 64 lbs can accomplish that, what can you do?