Tag: siblings

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Art of Raising Boys

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ry=400-1As I navigate the sometimes choppy waters of raising boys, I’m often left wondering if I’m a balanced disciplinarian.  There’s a fine line between boys just being boys and blatantly disrespectful behavior.  I don’t want to live my life as Captain of the ‘No-Fun-Ever’ Police, but I also don’t want my boys to run wild.  I never know if I’m getting it right.

Here’s a list of common behaviors that fall into a gray area and how I view them.

1.  Wrestling constantly with your brother usually in a light-hearted manner.  ACCEPTABLE

2.  Yanking your brother’s glasses off his face while wrestling and tossing them across the room.  UNACCEPTABLE

3. Passing gas on command and cracking up endlessly.  Depends on the context and thankfully, it’s rare, so I usually let this one slide.  Do I understand the hilarity of it?  Never.

4.  Thinking you are AWESOME at everything.  ACCEPTABLE

5.  Smacking your booty every time you complete a math problem on the computer.  To clarify, only T.Puzzle does this.  I think it’s crazy and I do my best to ignore it.  At least he’s doing something academic, right?

6.  Arguing when told to do something.  Unequivocally UNACCEPTABLE.  This issue alone is the main reason my boys have come to know time-out and consequences intimately.

7.  Crying or having a terrible attitude when you lose.  UNACCEPTABLE

8.  The weird inability to pay attention to what I tell them to do.  As soon as a direction has left my mouth, I usually am asked 27 detailed, repetitive questions about what I just said.  As long as they comply with a good attitude, I chalk it up to that male quality that renders them deaf to the sound of female voices.

9.  Being averse to hugs and kisses from their Mom.  UNACCEPTABLE  They have to suck it up.  Just like I know they won’t change some aspects of who they are, neither will I.  Full Speed is politely resigned to my affections.  T.Puzzle is a little more squirmily defiant.  Either way, it’s happening.

10. Giving corrective feedback.  Well, if I married Mad Dog, the king of subtle, corrective feedback (an influencing genius if you will), then, can I really be shocked his boys share this trait?  I usually let it slide but if they catch me on a bad day, all bets are off.  For some reason, I’m much less open to Mad Dog’s feedback than the boys’.  Go figure.

I hope one day that my boys will be parents.  Ideally, they will have only girls and will be as confused as I am.

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood

Night and Day

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708499693506-4While most people think my boys are extremely similar in looks and personality, they are like night and day to me.  Full Speed was built for sprinting.  T.Puzzle is a long distance runner.  Full Speed is a phenomenal eater and is willing to try anything once with a great attitude.  T.Puzzle is more picky but I don’t really care, he still has to eat what I give him.  Full Speed bores quickly in a pool.  T.Puzzle is like a little Nemo who could swim joyfully for hours and hours, and often does.

I love that they are different.  I love learning what makes each one tick and how they view the world.  One way they differ significantly is the amount of words they each use on a daily basis.  Full Speed is extremely vocal.  It is pretty darn easy to figure out how he feels and what he is thinking.  This is because he will give you a running commentary of every thought, feeling and emotion that comes over him the exact moment it comes over him.  T.Puzzle, while loving and keenly observant, holds his cards close to the vest.  I can relate because I’d much rather listen to someone tell their story than share my own.  Still, a part of me wishes I knew a little bit more about what went on in that marvelous brain of his.

This morning Full Speed was in his usual action mode sharing his thoughts about the upcoming day.  How he felt, what he was looking forward to and all the ways his day was going to be great.  Then, T.Puzzle shocked me.  He looked at me and said, “I think I am feeling….”  I held my breath waiting to hear what his little heart needed to share.  T.Puzzle continued “….like I really could eat a second waffle.”

Profound, wasn’t it?

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

How to Send Your Brother to His Room without Really Trying

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While I was reading a chapter book out loud yesterday, I had both boys planted firmly on either side of me (the separation of brothers is crucial).  T.Puzzle, in an apparent act of affection, draped his arm casually around my neck.  Before I knew what was happening, he began to fiddle with his brother’s face and then it was war.  I stopped mid-sentence and calmly explained that this outburst of violence was unacceptable.  The next person who touched their brother was going to their room.

T.Puzzle seemed resigned to this and kept his arm resting lightly on my neck.  I could feel by the posture of his body, he wasn’t planning on another attack.  As for Full Speed, he dramatically leaned back against the couch and hooked his arms behind his head.  The arm that was closest to T.Puzzle, arched out in a ridiculous angle (he looked like a cross between a monkey and an Olympic gymnast).  He furrowed his brow in concentration and waited for an inevitable flicker of movement from his brother’s hand.  My theory is then he could play victim and cry out indignantly hoping to send T.Puzzle to his room (don’t you just love brotherly love?).

That was it.  I lost it.  Fortunately for everyone involved, I dissolved into a fit of laughter.  If nothing else, Full Speed gets high marks for creativity.

We never did finish the chapter.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Inspired

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Coach warms up his team.

If you are able to step back from the everyday details of motherhood, greater lessons are there for the taking.  I never knew being a soccer Mom could be inspirational.  I’m so glad there were those moments in the season that made me proud of my boys (all three, go Mad Dog!).

Brothers march down the field

This summer Mad Dog coached the boys in a winning season of 3v3 soccer.  When he initially moved T.Puzzle up a division, I balked.  The first set of games that I watched my 5 year-old go up against seasoned 6 and 7 year-olds, I almost fainted from anxiety.  Thankfully, the little man held his own.  I guess having a big brother beat you up on a daily basis toughens you up.  It took me to about mid-season to relax a little (I’m talking a tiny, little bit) and enjoy the games unfolding before me.  I still never enjoyed when T.Puzzle would be launched across the field because of his lack of body weight.  I did love that no matter how many times he got knocked to the ground, he always got back up and back in the game.

T.Puzzle is crushed to the field as the seemingly giant players from the opposition bring the heat.
T.Puzzle goes head to head with a player who is thankfully, more his size.

As for Full Speed, this is the season he learned that your mental game is crucial to achieve your peak, physical performance.  For the last set of season ending games, only him and my nephew (who is only 5 like T.Puzzle), were available to play.  That meant they had to play two against three for three, 24 minute games with zero substitutions.  In the final game, Full Speed pulled a miraculous 5 goals out of his back pocket leading them to a 6-1 victory.  After the game Full Speed told Mad Dog, “My body wanted to quit on me but my mind wouldn’t let it.”

How’s that for inspiration?

A determined Full Speed keeps on going!
children, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Dark Side of Valentine’s Day

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I am off my game.  You would think I would know better.  All I need to do to stay on top of things is periodically read old posts from this blog.

I couldn’t resist.  I gave the boys small-scale lightsabers with M&Ms inside the handle.  They are completely adorable, they light up and they came with candy.  They are a perfect little Valentine.

Do I even need to write what happened once the boys bounded downstairs and grasped the lightsabers in their hands?

I don’t.  You’re a smart bunch.  You saw this morning’s lightsaber death match between the boys coming a mile a way.  You could have warned me to get them anything else.   My enduring love for Han Solo and all things Star Wars clouded my judgment.

I have paid the price and like the dark side I do not.

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