Supporting you in motherhood, one little blog post at a time
Me and the boys watched Miss Cutie so her Mom could go to her open house at school.
First we ran.
A lot.
Then Full Speed and T.Puzzle showed off their awesome dance moves.
Then it was time to play pretend kindergarten.
Miss Cutie kept up with the boys and we all had a blast. Even though she was only here an hour, we experienced the excitement of a 100 lifetimes in that short time.
This is the life of T.Puzzle and Full Speed.
Non-stop.
T.Puzzle came through his second surgery and all looks well with both his eyes. The doc checked the first eye while he was under and it appears his prescription improved a couple diopters (yay!). She also said that as he grows his prescription may improve even more. Imagine that! More good news about my child and/or children and their vision. We’ve come along way from ‘legally blind‘ and ‘your baby’s vision is worse than his brother’s’ type of information sharing with medical professionals. Hooray!
The overall surgery experience was much like I expected. He was absolutely miserable during the eye drop portion (as was I) and he woke up madder than a hornet’s nest from anesthesia. Nothing a solid nap (for Mommy, too!) and Cheerios couldn’t solve.
He is so brave.
Love you, T.Puzzle!
This week is still not so good. I think it has less to do with my daily circumstances and more to do with the dark cloud of eye surgery hanging over T.Puzzle’s head. I know the surgery is technically minor. I know that his physical pain will be minimal, his psychic pain to be great, that holding him down for 12 eye drops in one eye to be my own personal nightmare and that T.Puzzle coming out of anesthesia can be likened to an angry bear awoken too soon from hibernation. Aside from all that there is an expectation of hopefully improved vision for T.Puzzle, gratitude that there is someone in the world like Mad Dog to hold my hand through it all, and the life experience to know that whatever comes my way I will handle it.
Seriously, if I gave birth to two rambunctious dudes like Full Speed and T.Puzzle, I have to have at least a small percentage of tenacity in me, right? Even if I only have a fraction of theirs, I’m going to be just fine (and so will they).
You can count on it.
Maybe I’m not in the greatest mood. Maybe things haven’t gone exactly my way this week. Maybe Mad Dog is traveling and Full Speed and T.Puzzle brought their full court press tonight.
Maybe I need to write about something that makes me smile before my mood gets to the point of no return. Or I could just post this:
Maybe I need to admit that not every day or every week is a diamond. Maybe tomorrow or the next day will be better and be exactly what I need. Or maybe, just maybe, what I have right here, right now, even though it feels kind of weighted and difficult, is exactly what I need because I might just learn something.
Yes, kindergarten is great. In fact it is fantastic.
Then why do I feel so miserable?
Full Speed has said, and granted we are only on week two, that he ‘loves kindergarten’.
“Do you miss me when you are at school?” I ask him pointedly.
“Nope,” is his concise and honest reply.
There is a tiny part of my fragile mommy-ego that is actually able to rejoice that ‘school is cool’ for Full Speed. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to send him if he was unhappy about it.
What gets me the most (like a dagger through my heart) is when I roll down the window and shout, “Have a great day, Full Speed,” and then he cheerfully replies, “you, too Mom!” I can’t quite explain why I get so weepy about this. It’s something about his smooth confidence and the way he commands the sidewalk as he marches to the door. He looks so grown-up. My heart becomes filled with pride, sadness and a longing for yesteryear. From the outside all that is happening is kindergarten drop-off. From my inside view, it is the beginning of Full Speed officially breaking free of me.
Once I put the tissues away (be kind and at least allow for another week), I will embrace this new phase and support Full Speed however I can.
Whether he misses me during the day or not.
