children, gratitude, kindergarten, mommyhood, parenting, self-discovery

The Kindergarten Blues

Yes, kindergarten is great.  In fact it is fantastic.

Full Speed is awarded a certificate for good behavior. Apparently when you adore kindergarten, you behave.

Then why do I feel so miserable?

Full Speed has said, and granted we are only on week two, that he ‘loves kindergarten’.

“Do you miss me when you are at school?” I ask him pointedly.

Nope,” is his concise and honest reply.

There is a tiny part of my fragile mommy-ego that is actually able to rejoice that ‘school is cool’ for Full Speed.  I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to send him if he was unhappy about it.

What gets me the most (like a dagger through my heart) is when I roll down the window and shout, “Have a great day, Full Speed,” and then he cheerfully replies, “you, too Mom!”  I can’t quite explain why I get so weepy about this.  It’s something about his smooth confidence and the way he commands the sidewalk as he marches to the door.  He looks so grown-up.  My heart becomes filled with pride, sadness and a longing for yesteryear.  From the outside all that is happening is kindergarten drop-off.  From my inside view, it is the beginning of Full Speed officially breaking free of me.

Once I put the tissues away (be kind and at least allow for another week), I will embrace this new phase and support Full Speed however I can.

Whether he misses me during the day or not.

Where did the time go, Full Speed???