No matter what is going on in your life, you can’t helped but get sucked into the enthusiasm of children on Halloween.
Hope you had a Happy Halloween!
Thomas and Boba Fett
Category: happiness
Yes and No
My gut reaction is always ‘no’. I do not like to be spontaneous. I like plans and think that sticking to them prevents meltdowns and unnecessary drama. This is my weak attempt at controlling life. Do routines and plans give me comfort? Yes. Do these routines and plans always work out how I want them to? No.
Part of evolving as a woman and a parent you have to look at yourself and try to make some changes. You have to look at all parts of the whole. Some of these parts are not so great. How do you know when you’ve found a not so great part? When you examine it you feel uncomfortable in the pit of your stomach. That uneasy feeling is your signal you’ve hit pay dirt.
My hidden issue is control. Growing up I learned to endure an often challenging environment by becoming an impossible perfectionist. Spontaneity doesn’t really jive with this.
So, why did I marry someone like Mad Dog? He is at heart a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy.
I married him because somewhere deep down I knew my cookie-cutter ways needed to be challenged.
Yesterday when we were on our way to the outlet mall to buy Full Speed some long pants Mad Dog said, “Let’s see if we can find you a dress and take the boys to a nice dinner.”
Oh, well let me tell you every part of my being screamed ‘no!’. I was in exercise gear, no make-up and hair disastrously unwashed (I was wearing a baseball cap no less!). I tried to imagine finding a flattering dress, trying it on, having it actually fit all the while keeping my boys from wreaking insane havoc on the store and its patrons. I started to sweat, my heart rate increased and my anxiety shot through the roof.
But, I didn’t say no.
I made the conscious effort to know this is my first instinct, and while it has been my coping mechanism in the past, my life is such that I don’t need ‘no’ as a crutch in the same way.
Okay, there was one point when I was agonizing over the size and color of the dress and T.Puzzle and Full Speed were running boisterous laps that I was about ready to throw my hands up in defeat. Instead I pushed through. I found a dress, we grabbed some nice shirts for Mad Dog and the boys and went and had a fancy ocean side dinner.
Change is good. In fact, it’s ocean breeze-awsome scallops-good wine-great company fantastic.
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Twice the Fun
Mad Dog is home! Hurray!
We are all glad he is here but I have a question. Why is it that even though I spent 24/7 with my boys over the past several days, they still insist on being attached to my hip even though their Dad is home?
While Mad Dog was watching the Buckeyes and the boys were building a train track, I attempted escape to the lanai to write my blog post. I soon had a visitor. Not only did he have to sit near me, he had to sit practically on top of me.
And then there were two…
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Perfect
When Mad Dog is out of town for work, I decide this is the time in which not only do I have to be supermom, but I have to do it perfectly. My belief system, as crazy as it sounds, deems it necessary that if I can keep my boys happy and smiling while Mad Dog is away, then I must be doing my ‘job’ right.
Let me say it right now. This is insane.
So what if Full Speed is angry I made him wear a jacket to school this morning (it was cold, yes, 60 degrees in Florida is considered cold)? So what if T.Puzzle pouts because I didn’t have his favorite kind of pancake readily available for breakfast (Confetti Pancakes by Aunt Jemima in case you are wondering)? Oh, and let’s not forget my minor meltdown because Full Speed’s new teacher scheduled an open house with only three days notice. It took a phone call to my sister who thankfully answered to tell me what to do. It was so simple. Skip karate, have Mad Dog’s Dad watch the boys and go to the open house alone. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Why didn’t I see this simple solution? Because my inner perfect Mommy critic told me I needed to take
my boys to karate like I promised Mad Dog. He didn’t know there was an open house when he left and neither did I. For some reason, I couldn’t deviate from my original plan. My sister gave me the permission I needed so I could.
Thank goodness my sister was a voice of calm reason. I guess that’s why if you are lucky enough to have one, you are infinitely blessed because they can come through for you in the most unexpected and very appreciated ways.
Maybe I can let my inner critic soften a little bit or at least offer her a shot of tequila (I mean loosen up, girl!), and stop looking at how I am falling short of perfection. I need to flip my belief system upside down.
How about all the times Full Speed and T.Puzzle shared a genuine giggle with me while Mad Dog is away? Or how ‘Dust Buster Tag’ is their new favorite pasttime (my floors are cleaner for it)? Or how about the basic fact that they are clothed, fed, bathed and quite simply loved (even when they are angry and/or pouting)?
Love is patient, love is kind…, it’s anything you want it to be except perfect.
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Motor Out, Baby!
Full Speed loves kindergarten. He is reading, enjoying math and attempting to write. His writing is more like hieroglyphics than the actual written English language. I’d like to say what he lacks in style he makes up in enthusiasm (not so!). Sitting at a table and practicing handwriting is pretty excruciating when all you’d rather do is get up and run.
I know he can do it. He knows he can do it. He just doesn’t WANT to do it.
I’m trying all sorts of activities to keep him interested in strengthening his fine motor skills. Lacing objects is great because it uses all the same muscles as writing and hones visual perception (or something like that).
I even have T.Puzzle in on the action. His fine motor skills will be off the chain when he hits kindergarten, or will they?
Check out how it all went down as my boys attempted to lace a wooden slice of pizza:
[wpvideo w7GeYYHe]
I found it highly entertaining. At that moment I could care less about proper letter formation. All I could do was laugh.
So I did.