Category: marital blissishness

gratitude, marital blissishness

True Love’s Cup

WFAM

Mad Dog and I had another date night. Our goal is to have a date night once a week. This is an extremely lofty goal but as of late, we’ve been managing it quite well. This time we were off for dinner and a movie. We saw Couples Retreat. It was lighthearted and fun. Not the best I’ve ever seen but it did make us laugh a few times.

When we arrived at the theater we got in line at the recession counter. I was jonesing for something chocolate. Mad Dog and I decided to split a Coke Zero because right now they come in ginormous Twilight collector’s cups. We already have the one with the character Bella (the main female lead) on it and I was hoping we would get one with her vampire boyfriend (Edward) on it. Yes, I’ll admit it. Apparently I am no better than a high school-aged girl when it comes to crushing on a vampire. I was let-down. Our soda came in a Jacob (the werewolf) cup. For those of you out there who have been sucked in (pardon the pun) to the Twilight saga, you can understand how disappointing this can be for someone who is clearly rooting for the vampires.

I pout a little because I don’t know when I’ll be back at the movies and I have a feeling the cups of Edward will run out soon. Mad Dog senses my distress and chivalrously offers me five dollars to go and get another soda and select the cup of my choosing. I knew I married Mad Dog for all the right reasons. He supports my fantastical whims with aplomb. I really love him for that.

I head back to the front and end up engaging in a lengthy conversation with the teenaged boy behind the counter. As soon as I walk up he says, “Let me guess, you want to get another soda. And, let me guess, you want the vampire dude on it.” Am I really that transparent? Which, in case you are curious, is a characteristic of Twilight vampires when they are in direct sunlight.

The boy shakes his head in disbelief. I try to play coy. “Maybe I should pick the one with all three main characters on it. I mean, I am on a date with my husband. Do you think he’d be offended if I picked the one with just Edward on it?” He stares blankly at me and shrugs. Why am I asking relationship advice from someone who’s most likely only learned how to drive last year?

“Well, I need to be true to myself. Edward it is,” I declare proudly for all to hear. The boy smiles a knowing smile and says, “I have to head to the back and get a new sleeve of cups. There was a group of girls in here earlier that wiped out the counter supply of Edwards”. He slips back to the storage area of the theater. He returns and I clasp my hand around the coolness of the cup and I feel victorious.

Edward

True love can show itself in many forms. For some it could come in the form of a werewolf or vampire. For me, it showed itself tonight as a patient husband that paid for an extra soda that I didn’t really need but most certainly wanted. Thanks, Mad Dog. If there would have been a cup with your picture on it, I would have chosen it hands down.

children, marital blissishness, parenting

Three Ring Circus

WFAM

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Today is a momentous day for our family. We are going to the store to buy a trundle bed for T.Puzzle’s room. Our plan is to get T.Puzzle used to sleeping in the pull-out part of the bed (as it is low to the ground in case he should fall). Once he is comfortable and it has become routine, we would allow for his brother to sleep in the regular part of the trundle bed on occasion (I guess only if I’m in the mood to torture myself).

It has taken Mad Dog and me awhile to agree on the type and style of bed we want. We had seen something on-line we both agreed on and were glad to see the same model on the store-room floor.

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it?

It’s not.

The boys decide that the assortment of beds and furniture on display are there solely for their entertainment. Soon, T.Puzzle is climbing every, single one of the bunk beds and leaning dangerously over every edge he can access. I’m running around with my hands up in what I like to call the ‘perma-catch’ formation. You have to cup your hands sort of like a basket and the object is to always keep them directly under your child. This is not easy. Two year olds are notoriously fast and they rarely stay in one place.

While I am playing “Catch the Two Year Old”, Full Speed is frustrated that he is not getting my focus of attention. He is getting pouty and every two seconds is announcing, “Look at me, I’m in the soccer chair. Look at me, I’m in the football bed. Look at me; I’m lying in the middle of the floor.”

I try to be patient but my patience is wearing thin. I try to calmly explain to Full Speed that I in fact, cannot watch him. I have to watch his little brother. T.Puzzle’s life depends on having my full concentration.

Out of the corner of my eye it appears that Mad Dog is engaged in some chit-chat with the salesman. Ladies, you’ve seen it before. When two men talk with their arms folded across their chests. It looks comfortable, relaxed and lengthy. I want to cry. (In Mad Dog’s defense, he was attempting to negotiate.)

How can Mad Dog not see that I am inches away from losing my mind? He never noticed. He didn’t even bat an eyelash that T.Puzzle almost hurled himself to serious, permanent injury 14 times.

As we exit the store (finally!), T.Puzzle trips dramatically THREE times because he is so wound up. Each time he sprawls across the floor as if he was hit by a bomb. I can’t take it.

We get to our car and T.Puzzle trips AGAIN. I pick him up and he turns his head so fast, I don’t have time to get my face out of the way. The corner of his glasses catch my nose and it hurts. I am beyond frustrated.

I yell at Mad Dog. He yells back. So much for a momentous family outing. Well, I suppose it was momentous, just for all the wrong reasons.

Now that I have some distance from the situation, I’m realizing my frustration didn’t have anything to do with Mad Dog (I am sorry). It couldn’t have happened any other way. Mad Dog had to focus on negotiation and payment and my part of the deal was to keep my children safe (easier said than done). I think why I was so upset is the knowledge that I can’t ever walk into a store setting with my boys and not have it turn into a three ring circus. The good news is circuses are highly entertaining.

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humor, marital blissishness, mommyhood, self-discovery

Loose Change

WFAM

We are on our way out the door and Full Speed says, “I’ll hold the door for you, Mommy.” As I pass through he follows and I close the door behind us.

“Don’t forget to lock the door, Mom. We don’t want anyone to sneak in except for the Easter Bunny.” Then he proceeds to recount his glorious memories of Easter and how that magical bunny made his way into our home and left him lots of cool stuff.

I love the random things that come out of his mouth. twenty eight

When I picked up the boys from school they were wild with enthusiasm and not behaving in a calm manner (no surprise there!). We get to that door (oh, that darn, alarmed door) and Full Speed cocks back his leg and lets a swift kick go. Fortunately, his kick wasn’t strong enough to budge it open and everyone’s ears were saved from the piercing alarm sound.

I look down at him and say in my most exasperated Mommy-voice, “How many times do I need to tell you NOT to touch the door until I push the green button?”

He pauses and looks at me. “Twenty-eight.”

He says it like I’m suppose to know this number. Apparently, I was only at twenty-seven even though it feels like I have to remind him every single time NOT to touch the door. I hope we hit twenty-eight soon.

I decide to take them to Wendy’s for drive-thru cuisine (somehow it makes me feel like less of a slacker if I refer to it as cuisine) because Mad Dog is away on business and I am tired. When Mad Dog told me a few weeks back he would be gone for the four days leading up to Full Speed’s second surgery I was mostly calm. I told him that even though I was taking this bit of information calmly, that I would most likely be passively aggressive as his departure date approached. Then I said, who am I kidding? I’m going to be overtly aggressive. And true to form, I was (your welcome, my dear).

We get to the speaker-thing you order your stuff at and I tell the boys to stop fighting or Wendy’s won’t be able to hear me. This shuts T.Puzzle right up because the only thing he loves more than his Mommy are chicken nuggets.

I end up sounding like I have a screw loose. I awkwardly stumble through our order like it’s a complex math equation as opposed to a simple, fast food order. The man taking my order seems slightly perturbed as he has to ask several, qualifying questions because I’m not making a whole lot of sense. I’m frazzled. I have Full Speed asking me a million meaningless questions, I have about forty-seven more things to accomplish before bedtime and I wish my husband was home to lighten the load. The man tells me the total and I pull around to the second window to pay my $12.08. I thought to save the patient, Wendy’s employee some time that I will make exact change for him. So I hand him two tens and exactly eight cents. I’m proud of myself for doing it, too.

He returns shortly with my food and then hands me some cash and a heaping pile of change. I have no idea what the true total was but I know I had it totally wrong. This guy must think I’m an idiot to only give him eight cents towards whatever the amount was (which clearly was a whole lot more). So I’m making trouble instead of saving trouble. Now I see where my boys get it from.

marital blissishness, parenting, self-discovery

Truthfully Speaking

WFAM

Are you technically having an argument with your husband if you are simply stating your case and it happens to be true? I was upset with Mad Dog this morning (I was going to say mad but since the word mad is part of his nickname; I felt it canceled out the meaning). He has been working a lot (no surprise) and I am wishing it could be different (no surprise). I was so steamin’ angry that I called him while he was on his way to work. My point was to give him a laundry list of reasons of why I was so upset. I’m sure he was super excited to take my phone call. To his credit, he did not respond with a counter-attack. Either he is an incredibly intelligent man (if you know him, you know this to be true) or he thought my rant was so off-base, he couldn’t dignify it with a response. I’m hoping for the former. He better hope it’s the former, too. That’s not a threat. Again, how could it be? It’s simply a statement that happens to be true.

My Mom used to say that if you always agree with your spouse then one of you isn’t necessary. Well apparently Mad Dog and I are both highly essential to this union.

Relationships are complicated. Look at my boys. One minute they are wrestling each other within an inch of their lives, the next they are side by side calmly watching a show. There is no pattern or way to figure which way they are going to be each day. Frick and Frack

Maybe I would be bored to tears if they were quiet, calm and predictable (that made me laugh out loud as I tried to imagine them as that – never, gonna happen!). Maybe I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if a simple outing to Wal-Mart with them was just that. Simple.

Simple is nice when making a recipe I suppose. Simple can bring a sense of comfort and practiced rhythm to the world. My world is a little different. It is full of unknowns, outlandish behavior and disagreements. It has spice and surprise. I’m curious to see what happens next especially for T.Puzzle and Full Speed. Aren’t you?

humor, marital blissishness, mommyhood, parenting

Breaking the Fast

WFAM

Mad Dog was scared when he walked in the door Friday night. I had reached my limit of patience with the boys. I had Full Speed upstairs screaming in his room because he had repeatedly run over T.Puzzle with a rather large, blue Lego truck. I was on my way back downstairs when I saw Mad Dog’s silhouette through our glass door. I walked forcifully to the door and opened it with much anger. Of course I wasn’t angry at him or the door. I was frustrated with Mommyhood.

Mad Dog cautiously stepped over the threshold and commented that it looked like I was ready to stab him. I resent that because at the time, I wasn’t even holding a knife. Mad Dog was puzzled why I was so on edge. He figured because I only had Full Speed for the day as T.Puzzle was in school (and Full Speed had visited Grandma for a couple hours in the morning to give me a break), that I should be calm, cool and collected.

I could see his point. I could also see mine. Mine had more to do with the fact that the days surrounding Full Speed’s surgery had put me on such a heightened Mommy Mode that I was completely burned out. I liken it to that hyper-awareness you have with a newborn. It was as if my mental self had completely immersed itself into Full Speed. If he so much as hiccupped I had water, honey and a soothing hug to help him through it. Anything he needed I had for him. Anything he wanted I made sure he got. I did it partly because that’s what Mommy’s do. I also did it to ease his suffering going through so many complicated medical procedures and testing. I was exhausted.

I was frustrated too that Mad Dog wasn’t validating this experience. So, the next morning when it was time for breakfast, I was more than happy to let Mad Dog take over with the boys. Eventually, I heard a lot of chaos, crying and fighting so I went downstairs to investigate.

The boys and I have a solid routine for breakfast and they were voicing their displeasure that Mad Dog was doing it wrong. I was upset. Not because my boys are slightly OCD concerning routines, but because it is solely up to me to know the ins and outs of these routines. I’m the one who knows what kind of waffles they can and can’t eat (T.Puzzle is allergic to eggs so he requires a special brand), how many sausages they prefer (it’s two links) and that they always have a fresh side of fruit. I also make sure they have vitamins, have brushed teeth, are properly sun-screened, eye-glasses cleaned etc. Most of the time I handle these details with aplomb. However, this morning that was not the case.

Through this pandemonium I think it clicked for Mad Dog that our guys are certainly a handful. I think he noted the dazed and crazed look in my eyes, too. He graciously offered to let me have a break in the afternoon while he watched the Buckeyes with Grandpa and the boys (thank you, thank you!). I decided to go to a movie.

It was magical. I mean, the movie wasn’t great (Love Happens, I recommend renting it or watching it on pay-per-view on a rainy afternoon) but it was completely liberating. It felt like I could breathe for the first time in well over a week. I loved that it was dark, quiet and the only needs I had to care for were my own. I loved that the movie had decidedly feminine themes and was ladened with cheese.

I’m going to need to work on having more balance moving forward for Full Speed’s second surgery. Or Mad Dog may very well need to hide all of our knives until then.