motherhood – Page 28 – Writes for all Mommies

Greatest Hits (Happy Holidays 2015)

16/12/201517/12/2015 WFAM

I don’t know how you top going to the National Championship to see the Buckeyes win in 2015. It was a spontaneous January trip to Dallas that fortunately ended in a Buckeye victory. The whole of it was as special as the individual parts. For Mom, sharing it as a family was the icing on the cake. To read more, click here:

The Story of a girl and her Buckeye

Losing a loved one not only changes who you are, it sometimes changes your ability to enjoy the things you used to love. After losing my mom in 2009, I lost my passion for watching baseball. She was my partner in crime. Thankfully after years and years of healing, the time to return to baseball finally felt right. Thank you to the Cubs’ organization for making this season the best in ages. Thank you especially for beating the Cardinals in the NLDS. That pretty much sealed the fate of my boys’ allegiance forever. Seriously, thank you! To read more, click here:

The Story of a girl and her Buckeye (The Prequel)

Mad Dog and I recently celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. Our relationship has weathered life’s ups and downs and above all else, we have maintained an underlying friendship. He still makes me laugh more than anyone. He still is, in my opinion, ridiculously handsome which is also a plus. But, the reason I love him so very much is because he loves the real me. When I struggle with self-acceptance and doubt, he never judges. When I say things in frustrated despair like, “Why can’t I just be normal?” He responds with, “Full Speed isn’t ‘normal’, T.Puzzle isn’t ‘normal’ and I’m not ‘normal’. Just be you. Once you learn to be comfortable being you, things will fall into place.” A better response I could not imagine. Thank you, Mad Dog. To read more, click here:

True Love’s Cup

Parenting is hard. I’ve seen enough and learned enough that the only surety is your ability to accept whatever is in front of you. This year my boys finally no longer have to patch their eyes for amblyopia (lesser vision in one eye). This all started when Full Speed was twenty months old. He recently turned 11. That’s a long time in kid years. Again and again my boys and their vision challenges have taught me to accept what I can’t control. That is so hard to do, but eventually, it’s all that remains. To read more, click here:

Eye Am Thankful

I started this blog when my boys were little. I wrote it to cope. If you ever had a chance to be around them when they were small, you would understand that my coping skills were challenged relentlessly. Through the years we’ve all grown. They continue to evolve. I’m most grateful for the evolution of who-they-really-are. They have this core of intangible awesomeness. We all have it and sometimes the only person who can see it is your mother. I see it. They have it. And, they are awesome. Let me clarify, they are awesome but they are not perfect. They back talk and fight. They have a really hard time following directions, even super-detailed step-by-step directions. They took FOREVER to potty-train, ride their bikes and tie their shoes. Full Speed especially didn’t understand my distress over the shoe-tying. I mean, he would just pay someone to tie them for him once he made it to the NFL anyway, so what was the big deal? Life is too complicated to only focus on achievements (or lack thereof). Achievements are a dime a dozen. They come, they go and in the end, they aren’t really all that important. That core of awesomeness, it is there, even if your kid gets an ‘F’ on a test (true story, it happens). Instead, spend your time being present and consciously try to catch a glimpse of their awesomeness. When you do, it is the best feeling in the world. It is better than straight ‘As’, four hundred touchdowns or winning a spelling bee. It is Pure Love.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

children, humor, motherhood

64 lbs

15/11/201515/11/2015 WFAM

A 5’6 twelve-year-old is a sight to behold. Especially in a sea of more average to small-framed kids usually seen at any given game for a U12 flag football team. Full Speed’s rather tall teammate is a huge offensive and defensive weapon. The QB only needs to launch the ball in the general vicinity of him and his giant wingspan and leaping ability almost guarantee a completion. Needless to say, it’s been a very fun season for Full Speed and his winning team.

When the news broke that our super receiver and starting QB couldn’t attend Saturday’s game, we all began to wonder how we would fare without them. My friend’s son would step in as QB, and while he had experience in this slot with previous teams, he had never run routes with this current team. And, coupled with missing our surefire receiver, where does that leave the team? Pinning our hopes and dreams on the crazy fast quickness of Full Speed.

The night before the game Full Speed’s coach had pulled him aside. He warned him to get a good night’s sleep and be prepared for a lot of hand-offs. Mad Dog and I were a little perplexed. Full Speed averaged about ten runs a game and was pretty successful even scoring an occasional touchdown, but how many more runs did that mean? Twenty? Thirty?

Oh my.

The morning of the game Full Speed pounded on our bedroom door earlier than expected.

“Can I get up now? I know it’s early but I’m too pumped up for the game to sleep.”

Oh my.

Before a game, Full Speed becomes silently serious. On the ride to the fields he was a ball of nerves and I could tell he was doing his best to be focused and brave. I didn’t know what to think. On one hand, I knew that Full Speed, as do all of us, have this remarkable capacity to step up our game when needed. On the other hand, I prayed that at least the team would remain competitive, would have a chance for other players to shine and that some positive lessons about heart and effort would be learned.

At the coin toss, the other team won possession. My stomach gave a nervous little lurch as the refs lined up the teams for the first snap. Right out of the gate the opposition passed the ball to midfield where a player handily snagged it and ran for a touchdown. I cringed as the player zipped into the end zone and worried that this was going to set the tone for the game.

Full Speed’s team lined up to hopefully answer. It seemed like a longshot. Mad Dog and I knew Full Speed was getting the ball as his right hand twitched with nervous anticipation. Then, it was on. He was off to the races. He zigged, he zagged, he juked and he spun. He kicked into this extraordinary high gear and broke the ankles of players twice his size. They all were left standing in his wake confused that this little dynamo couldn’t be caught. He ran and ran, then he ran some more. We could hear the QB say, ‘I don’t need to pass, it’s fun to watch Full Speed run all over the field.’ To the QB’s credit, as well as all the other members of the team, they all gave tremendous effort when it was needed. Even a player not known for speed, lumbered his way for an impressive gain. The other team backed off for fear of being run over. His parents were seated next to me and said that his recent growth spurt had him weighing in at 118 lbs. Full Speed weighs 64.

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

-Mark Twain

By game’s end, Full Speed had four touchdowns, countless runs and who knows how many Heisman worthy yards gained all leading to victory.

If 64 lbs can accomplish that, what can you do?

humor, motherhood

The Frog of Doom

11/11/201511/11/2015 WFAM

A while back there was a Dead Lizard Incident in my house. I found this unfortunate fellow in my Amazon box and consequently lost my ability to reason, but not my ability to purchase from Amazon (sorry Mad Dog). Full Speed had to rescue me and dispose of the limp, lifeless and oh-so-disgusting body. The point is, me and small, slimy-looking critters are not friends. If they stay away from me, I’m happy to let them exist, but if they come near me or worse yet, come in my HOUSE, I stop functioning as a proper adult.

Mad Dog is once again traveling for work. This means that I am the lone, sane adult person responsible for all remaining members of our household. Per my usual routine and ‘being the one in charge’ I went to our screened in lanai to let our dogs out first thing in the morning. As I did so, I absently placed my feet in my slippers. I noticed the toes on my left foot brushed up against something and proceeded to tap out the slipper to figure out what it was.

It was a frog.

Let me repeat, it was a frog.

For some strange reason, I didn’t panic. I felt nauseous and wanted to cry, but I held it together. I poked the frog with the end of the slipper and much to my horror, realized it had expired. My toes basically had touched a dead frog.

I’ll give you a minute while you let that sink in.

There aren’t words to convey how traumatic I found this to be. Again, amazingly I kept my cool, and proceeded to let the dogs out so I could start my day. I figured when the boys came downstairs Full Speed could ‘rescue me’ again and dispose of the body. I opened our back screen door and turned to tell the dogs to get a move on, and then, that’s when I saw an empty open space where I thought a dead frog should be.

The frog was not dead.

Let me repeat, the frog of doom was not dead.

To worsen matters, the doors to the interior of my house were still open. So, did it go in or did it go out? I didn’t know.

Well, there was much to be done. I came in the house, headed straight to the cabinet under the kitchen sink and grabbed the Lysol. After I sufficiently Lysoled my bare foot, as I could and still can feel the exact spot on my toes that had come into contact with the frog, I sat down to reason through my next steps. Clearly, I am burning the slippers, that is a no-brainer, and I plan to use the smoke from this fire to signal to Mad Dog that I have permanently relocated our family to a frog-free zone.

It’s what any logical, sane person would do, right?

motherhood

Two Steps forward, One Bike Ride Back

05/10/2015 WFAM

I know as a mom, there is an unwritten rule that you shouldn’t compare your kids. It’s like apples to oranges, right? Yes and no. If all you have known in your parenting history are the actions and behaviors of your firstborn, how can you not apply this knowledge to your second kid?

If you’ve ever read any of my early posts about raising my boys, you know that they both were incredibly stubborn and highly active children. The good news is that while they remain stubborn at their core, they are thankfully a lot more compliant and much more pleasant to live with. These behavior changes came over a period of several years and after lots of hard, consistent disciplinary work from my part. At around the second grade, Full Speed completely transformed. He became a delight to be around. He developed manners and empathy. While he still has spurts of insane, high-energy, they are much easier to handle. Naturally, I thought that once T.Puzzle hit second grade the same would ring true for him. I waited and waited, and then I waited some more. Manners? Nope. Being compliant? Not so much. Having a filter? Not on your life.

His behavior baffled me. I did all the same things I did with Full Speed, so why wasn’t it sinking if for T.Puzzle? After a while I began to realize that, wait a minute, they actually are quite different kids. While Full Speed remained vocal and independent at school, T.Puzzle kept to himself. Full Speed’s confidence certainly won the respect of his teachers, but T.Puzzle’s quiet nature won them over completely. Where Full Speed sometimes didn’t get ‘outstandings’ in conduct, T.Puzzle was bringing them home left and right like nobody’s business. Yet, when he return home from school again, he would be that flip little loose cannon who does not like to be told what to do. At home, this is where Full Speed shined.

Okay, I get it, these guys are opposites in some regards. They have to mix it up to keep me on my toes. I let it go and focused on being grateful that most of the time, away from me, T.Puzzle was a pretty well-behaved kid. Then, it happened. There was this shift in him. He has started to remember his manners more, he does things the first time he’s told with less commentary and he actually offers to share things with others on occasion. I noticed something subtle the other day, too. I snuggled up to him on the couch and instead of me putting my arm around him, he put his arm around me. He even began to absently pat me on the back. Exactly like Full Speed does when he is ‘taking care’ of mom.

To help encourage this new-found growth and maturity, I sent T.Puzzle to his friend’s house by bike. He did so good. He called me when he got there and called me to let me know he was on his way home. When I greeted him by the garage I was so proud of him.

“Mom, my helmet feels weird.”

“Uh, that’s because you are wearing it backwards.”

It’s not a perfect system, folks. Not by a long shot.

children, humor, motherhood

Beating the System

06/09/201506/09/2015 WFAM

Recently, I’ve taken a more laissez-faire approach to parenting. I’m trying to instill personal responsibility in my boys. For instance, they need to make their beds each day, and if they don’t, they will get an earlier bedtime. I don’t fuss about it, it just is. Either you want the later bedtime or you don’t. Your bed will show me.

Full Speed decided to bypass this system. When Mad Dog and I turn in for the night, it is part of Mad Dog’s ritual to check on the boys and make sure they are tucked in and comfortably asleep. What did he find? Full Speed lying on top of his perfectly made bed curled in a little ball for warmth. You technically never have to make your bed if you never use it. Nice try, but get yourself under those covers.

reenactment of what it looks like to sleep on top of covers

Where does this slyness come from you may wonder? Well, as I walked into my formal living room, what caught my eye but this nifty little piece of decorating…

When I agreed to letting more Buckeye memorabilia creep into the corners of our home, I’m pretty sure gym shoes were not anywhere on my radar. But technically, I never said out loud, “Please, no athletic shoes as part of the decor.”

Can’t.

Win.