motherhood – Page 33 – Writes for all Mommies

children, family, gratitude, kids, motherhood, parenting

Change Your Mind, Not Yourself (Happy Mother’s Day)

11/05/2014 WFAM

I recently was scrolling through a woman’s magazine on my iPad. I quickly became discouraged as page after page advertised or extolled all the ways I needed to improve my external appearance. It seems I have too many spots, wrinkles and imperfections to be considered truly beautiful by this magazine’s stringent and impossible standards. I started to get really mad. Mad at myself for all my flaws and mad at this magazine for pressuring me to be perfect. Eventually I realized that I couldn’t really be mad at the magazine. It is only perpetuating the insane ideals we as a whole have bought into. What really, can any of us do about it? We are helpless to the passage of time and the changes our faces and bodies will inevitably go through. No amount of cream, lotion or potion will stop this.

Since I can’t change society or the external pressures we face, all I can do is change my mind about my own standard of beauty. I started to think about the people in my life that were and are beautiful to me. First and foremost, there was my Mom. While she was living, she was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever had the honor of knowing. She had the lightest blue eyes that always hinted at the wry humor hidden within them and she had this megawatt smile that could light up a room. Hmmm,â€¦ she wasn’t a supermodel and she still did age through the years yet she was gorgeous to me.

On this Mother’s Day, I would like us all to entertain the possibility that maybe how we look on the outside has nothing to do with real beauty. Let’s try to honor ourselves by how we love instead of how we look.

My wish for today is that when my boys look back at this time in our lives, they will recall a Mom who loved as much as she was loved and above all else, was perfectly beautiful just as she was.

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

It’s Write in the Genes

03/05/2014 WFAM

When Full Speed started kindergarten within the first two weeks his teacher pulled me aside. She was sincerely concerned about his fine motor skills and wondered if his vision was impacting his abilities to print (it wasn’t, his handwriting was just that bad). Naturally I responded in the only way I knew how. I teared up, went home and called everyone I knew to whine and complain about this horrible injustice. Yeah, my denial phase about Full Speed’s printing was pretty short-lived. Once I got over myself, I set my overachiever self on a mission to make him the best 5-year-old printer in America. Let’s just say, I had mixed results and it tested my relationship with him in not the best of ways. Ultimately, what I realized is would I rather have a super awesome kid like Full Speed, or a regular kid that is a super awesome printer? Hands down, I would choose Full Speed every single time.

Full Speed is now an energetic third grader. His handwriting is still questionable at best, but he lives with such joy and enthusiasm, I don’t really mind. For instance, he had his first brush with standardized state testing and handled it like a rock star. He was calm, cool and confident. Thank goodness he didn’t inherit my anxiety genes (but I can print like nobody’s business!). To help prepare the class for the Big Test, his teacher requested parents send in encouraging handwritten notes. I assigned day two of the test to Mad Dog. He wrote a great little note about how Full Speed was growing into a fine young man and that he was an excellent big brother. While Full Speed’s teacher appreciated Mad Dog’s note, she had an interesting take on it. She told Full Speed she now understood where he inherited his handwriting skills. According to what she read from the note, Full Speed was not an excellent big brother, but rather a big bother.

Interestingly enough, if you ask T.Puzzle he confirms this.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Stairs Hurt

16/04/2014 WFAM

As T.Puzzle has attempted to gain mastery over his two-wheel bicycle, it is sometimes a losing battle. Coupled with getting regularly pounded by players twice his size in his U10 soccer league, this boy has taken quite a beating over the past few weeks. I’ve become accustomed to hearing his wails of pain. So, when I heard him cry out after a tussle with the stairs, I sprang into my usual action. I scooped him up, held him and let the tirade of tears unleash.

“What happened?” I asked.

T.Puzzle’s response was choked with pain. “Well, I was going down the stairs on my stomach and each step that hit my stomach hurt it worse and worse.”

How does one respond to that?

I didn’t have a logical response so I calmly walked away, went up the stairs using my FEET and hid my exasperated chuckle from him.

Turns out, feet really are the way to go when using the stairs.

children, family, gratitude, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

Good Deal

09/04/201413/04/2014 WFAM

I was attempting to access an app on Full Speed’s electronic device. In theory, I understood what needed to be done. All I had to do was go to the App Store and find it under the already purchased category. As I tried to execute the theory, I came to a standstill. As I gazed at the glowing face of the iPad, I was frozen with indecision. Where was the app I wanted? Why couldn’t I find the purchased section? Where had my dignity gone? Full Speed, who could see that dear old Mom was struggling, hopped up, came to my aid and in about two seconds flat, found exactly what I needed. He did it in a way that you would patiently help a toddler. This was rather humbling at 8am in the morning.

“Full Speed, are you going to take care of me when I’m old?”

T.Puzzle who didn’t miss a beat chimed in, “Yeah, probably not, Mom.”

Full Speed had a different approach. “Sure, Mom. I’ll take care of you as long as you take care of my dogs.”

Deal. Obviously this technologically challenged Mom can’t afford to be choosy.

children, family, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting

The Meaning of Joy

31/03/2014 WFAM

As a parent, I have a two basic ground rules that I hold near and dear to me. The first is that when I ask my boys to do something, they are required to do it the first time I ask them. The second is that good manners and respect are the foundation for everything. So, as our Spring Break wore on, so did my patience. The boys weren’t really understanding that they were getting a lot of fun privileges and they were getting rather snarky with me. Of course, I don’t expect them to be perfect, but when the latest round of rudeness crept onto the scene, I decided to intervene. For their rainy day Saturday, all electronic privileges were suspended. I told the boys they had to entertain themselves and they weren’t allowed to ask me how to do so. Also, they had an early bedtime and had to read actual books, no e-readers allowed until lights out.

I got right up on my soapbox and explained all the ways they had shown ingratitude for the week. I went play-by-play over the ways they talked back and disrespected me. As I was finishing up my impassioned argument as to why they were being grounded, T.Puzzle started to crack a little. Tears rimmed his eyes but never spilled over. Full Speed, well, he had a different approach. He decided an electronics-free day sounded AMAZING. He went on to have the most joy-filled day of his life. I could tell he was really trying to stick it to me when he patiently played a board game with his brother and didn’t try to choke him out when he lost. Not on this day, the most joyful day ever.

It got to be almost comical as Full Speed theatrically and vocally expounded on his joy throughout the day.

I have to admit, I admire his creativity.

Full Speed=1

Mom=0