self-discovery – Page 3 – Writes for all Mommies

children, gratitude, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery, Taekwondo

The Sparring Truth

20/01/2011 WFAM

Now that T.Puzzle is a camoflauge belt, he technically is allowed to spar. This means I am technically allowed to be completely neurotic about it.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA — the good ol' days when T.Puzzle was still a non-sparring yellow belt.

Oh, my denial runs deep. I keep wishing and hoping that his sparring days are far, far in the future.

In class as I grabbed a seat another Mom asked me, “Has T.Puzzle sparred, yet?”

I went into this long explanation about how he has not, how I’m not ready for it, he’s too young, too timid and maybe Mad Dog can take him to a sparring class because I don’t want to see it.

I think a simple ‘no, he has not’ would have sufficed.

Needless to say, as soon as I’m done with my crazy little speech, the instructor approaches me and asks if T.Puzzle has his sparring gear.

Today is the day.

Yikes!!

The more I thought about it the more I realized my concerns about T.Puzzle sparring had nothing to do with him.

I am associating this with him being grown-up.

Newsflash— he is growing up.

Sometimes knowledge like this is worse than a flying high kick to the head.

After it was over, it was all relatively harmless, and T.Puzzle shouted, ‘that was the most awesomest!’, I paused and tried to be grateful for how well he handled it.

Me?

I still have a ways to go yet.

gratitude, happiness, kids, marriage, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery

2, 4, 6, 8 Who Do I Appreciate?

15/01/2011 WFAM

Do you ever wonder if your partner understands how hard you work to make everything seem easy?

How when he may (or may not) reach for clothes for the kids, they are clean, neatly organized and always at hand? This goes for karate uniforms, too.

Or, when he walks in the door, the kids are playing with each other in a respectful manner (someone had to teach them this and they need almost daily reminders of how to continue to do so), the house is clean (relatively speaking) and dinner is cared for (most nights).

And, what about all the learning these kids need to do that you have to help them with? Eye appointments and doctors visits, too?

Believe me, I’m just getting started here.

Now, before you stop reading in protest Mad Dog, let me flip it around.

Do you ever feel like your partner understands how hard you work to provide for her and the kids?

How about all the long hours spent alone in an office (with no windows, mind you!) on endless phone calls trying to accomplish seemingly impossible business feats and doing so while making it all look easy?

What about trying to manage a team that is scattered across the nation that looks to you for leadership and expects nothing but excellence from you?

Or the myriad of calamities and unexpected projects that pile up on your already overtaxed work schedule?

And what about the time spent away from your boys? You know they are incredible and they grow by leaps and bounds every day, and you have to miss some of the really important and downright cool stuff.

You are handling all these things and doing it well even at great personal cost. Does your partner get this?

Really?

I don’t know that I do.

Sometimes I’m so focused on feeling underappreciated in my own corner of the world that it begins to feel like a part-time job.

Are life and relationships ever going to be exactly how you want them to be?

Nope.

What can I do today to take care of myself, give myself the recognition I desire and honor and appreciate my partner in the process?

I love you, Mad Dog and appreciate you!

I guess that’s a start.

gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, life in pictures, marriage, mommy cliques, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self care (or lack thereof), self-discovery

Happy 2011, Everyone!

01/01/201101/01/2011 WFAM

Resolutions for 2011 are as follows–

T.Puzzle: To be Superman when I grow up!

That’s super, man.

Full Speed: I promise to be the bestest boy in all the land.

Considering his initial behavior at our New Year’s lunch out by the ocean, this goal may be slightly on the lofty side.

Mad Dog: To get fit and have more patience with my boys.

First of all, I think he looks fantastic as is and secondly, I’m thinking he wanted to add ‘and more patience with my wife’. Since he was speaking this goal directly to me, he was wise to leave that part out.

Me: To have more gratitude for what I already have.

That’s the great thing about motherhood, it gives you many reasons to be grateful. I’m serious, mostly…, and no, I haven’t fallen and hit my head (at least not badly).

These are some of the lessons I learned throughout 2010.

1. No matter how much you dream it or wish it, you are not in control of your life or your children. It seems the more I try to micromanage Full Speed’s and T.Puzzle’s behavior, the more likely I am to fail and be miserable in the process. Sometimes you have to let go and let them be who they are, even if that means they act wild sometimes, forget their manners and generally drive you and your spouse nuts.

2. On good days, motherhood is about the balance between caring for the needs of your kids and caring for your own needs. On bad days, motherhood is about survival. All you can do is survive until your children’s bedtime, chalk it up to a bad day and start the adventure anew the next day.

3. When the bad stuff happens, it’s your best opportunity to learn.

4. I am extremely lucky to have someone like Mad Dog as my children’s father. Kids love to emulate what they see, and fortunately for me, this means they see love, respect and generosity as a way of life.

5. Frustration doesn’t get you very far. Acceptance, an action plan and forgiveness go a whole lot further in this world.

6. Having kids allows you to remember your own sense of fun. It’s also a great excuse to wear silly hats when you ring in the new year.

675741019506 — Happy New Year, Everyone!

children, gratitude, happiness, kids, life in pictures, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery, Taekwondo

Wise for His Size

18/12/2010 WFAM

It was Full Speed’s turn to graduate.

He was fired up from the start.

Once he donned his sparring gear he felt unstoppable.

He attacked with everything he had. His opponent didn’t stand a chance.

One of the best parts about being six years old is that life and its lessons haven’t completely caught up to you yet. You still believe in the impossible.

Santa will visit your house.

Life will always good.

And, in Full Speed’s case, you can imagine that you are a six foot, 190 lb. man who can beat anyone or any obstacle with a spin kick and a heart like a lion.

Maybe Full Speed has something to teach us all.

children, gratitude, happiness, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self-discovery

The Right Kind of ‘Yes’

10/12/2010 WFAM

If you actually complete all your ‘to-do’ lists on a daily basis during the holiday season, it is easy to lose yourself. Sure, you may have all your presents bought and started addressing your holiday cards, but where is the love?

It is so easy to get swept up in the momentum of holiday madness. You say ‘yes’ to your child’s classroom teacher, you say ‘yes’ to buying more presents, you say ‘yes’ to giving all that you are and then some.

Maybe ‘no’ is something worth considering.

What if we all said ‘no’ a little bit more this season and focused our ‘yesses’ on the people we cherish most in this world?

I certainly am thinking of three guys that I would love to hang out with more as Christmas and the New Year approaches.

Who would your ‘nos’ make room for?