bad day, children

Duck and Cover

WFAM

As mother to T.Puzzle and Full Speed, I know what it takes to get through a day. I have to be strong, set lots of stern boundaries and not give them an inch. If I can’t do these things then I have to be prepared to duck and cover.

We were down to our last pull-up and I had to take little T.Puzzle with me to Target. If I am in the right frame of mind and he is too, it is a reasonable task. If I am tired, crabby and not feeling up to being a drill-sergeant mommy, then we are in big, big trouble.

I just was not in the mood to fight him at every turn. He kept tossing everything I had in the cart onto the floor. Normally, I would stop no matter if we are in the food isle or near ladies’ lingerie, and reprimand him. He would be placed in time-out and would wail to the high heavens but most likely would get his act together. I just couldn’t do it today. I wordlessly kept placing everything he tossed on the floor back in the cart. I chose to ignore his behavoir and that was the first of my mistakes.

By the time we had reached the cashier little T.Puzzle was ‘helping’ me push the cart. It was my weak attempt at distracting him from his naughty behavior. It didn’t work (another mistake). He decides now is the time to run away from Mommy and giggle. I grab him and place him in the cart’s seat and he starts screaming ‘no!’ at the top of his lungs. To complicate matters he keeps getting up in the seat dangerously teetering over the side. He looks ready to jump. I try my best to unload the cart and to make light of his insanity to the cashier. She looks wholly empathetic and mortified at the same time. As I lean down to grab something off the base of the cart, little T.Puzzle makes his move. He grabs a heavy box from the counter in front of him and proceeds to chuck it at my head. The cashier lunges forward to save me and in the process her knee hits the counter with a sickening thud. It’s her bad knee she tells me. Well, of course it is. Why would it be her good knee? That would make this story less upsetting and as you can tell, I wasn’t catching any breaks today.

I effusively apologize for the misdeeds of my child and the unfortunate injury he caused. Of course, he hasn’t let up screaming ‘no!’ yet either. I take my cart, my wobbly self-esteem and my overtly aggressive child and exit. I manage to strap him in his car seat, get my things unloaded and put the cart back. As soon as I reach the car I dial Mad Dog. I cry and he listens and when my crying gets really desperate sounding, little T.Puzzle switches his ‘nos!’ to ‘sorrys’.

It didn’t help because I was very sorry, too.

children, parenting

Contrary Genes and Selective Memories

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New dragon pjs

The boys have clearly inherited the contrary gene. No matter what I say or what I ask of them, there is always some reason why they can’t quietly comply. Sometimes it gets complicated to always disagree with your Mom but they are very dedicated. This morning as I was picking out Full Speed’s clothes, I had landed on a Star Wars theme. I told him this way he could wear his new Darth Vader socks (I think they are super-cool).

How to Train Your Dragon very cute movie.

“Mom, I can’t wear those socks. I was suppose to wear my new Power Ranger socks. I told you Hot Wheels first, Darth Vader second and then Power Rangers last.”

“No you didn’t Full Speed. You already wore Power Rangers and they are in the hamper.”

“Oh.” And he puts on Darth Vader. Why he simply couldn’t put them on in the first place is a mystery to me.

Not to be outdone, as we had been on a family bike ride the day before, little T.Puzzle threw a stubborn, level-5 tantrum about riding on Mom’s bike. Granted, Dad’s bike has much more status attached to it, but it was time to switch back to Mom’s. He tantrumed and fussed and yelled, ‘no!’ and ‘I not!’ and ‘I never!’.

Mad Dog marvelled at his stubborness.

“Full Speed was never this stubborn,” he said.

I was gobsmacked (fun word, right?).

In my reality (wink to you, Mad Dog), Full Speed was ten times if not a hundred times more stubborn than little T.Puzzle at this same age.

This is my theory as to why Mad Dog’s memory is different than mine. If you are a carrier of the contrary gene (such as Mad Dog) then you also must have selective memory when it comes to recalling stubborn behavior of any kind by anyone. That is the only realistic explanation for Mad Dog’s apparent memory loss surrounding Full Speed’s early years.

You know what? I bet he will disagree with me.

Hmmm…, how interesting and not contrary at all.

children, mommyhood

Safe!

WFAM

We hosted a low-key cook-out. My in-laws joined us as well as my friend from down the street. As the evening was winding down, I set T.Puzzle, Full Speed and their friend, Miss Cutie, up with a Hotwheels DVD in our upstairs loft so the remaining adults could enjoy dessert uninterrupted. Now Miss Cutie is a very laid-back gal but on occasion she can get herself into unintentional trouble (where as with my guys, the trouble is always intentional). So, I left Full Speed ‘in charge’ and he was to yell downstairs if Miss Cutie left the couch.

We were in the process of finishing up our desserts when we hear a loud, desperate yell from Full Speed. It sounded like something awful had happened. Her mom and I leap to our feet and race upstairs. Would we find Miss Cutie poised to jump off a bookshelf? Would she be dangling from the ceiling fan? What would we find?

Turns out all that happened was a snag in the DVD and it had froze. I look at Full Speed and said, “What did you do?”

“Nuffing! Nuffing! I swear. We were all seated SAFELY on the couch and it stopped.”

Somehow the word safely and the boys just don’t mix. I then safely turned off the movie and we all headed downstairs together.

children, gratitude, parenting

All Mine

WFAM

I love baseball. My Mom loved baseball. So, to play baseball with my boys is pretty awesome. Mad Dog had purchased some whiffle balls, a bat and some cones for bases and we all took turns batting out in our cul-de-sac.

Of course the dream in my head of idylically playing America’s past-time did not quite match up to my reality. It was hard for the boys to take turns (make that impossible!),  T.Puzzle had to be in time-out three times, and then Full Speed was angry because T.Puzzle threw a ball at him.

It still was awesome.

It ain’t perfect but it’s all mine and I love it.

children, mommyhood, rock and a hard place

Sticky Situation

WFAM

Tae Kwon Do for two over-active boys is absolutely the perfect sport. It’s all about structure, discipline and respect (my personal fave). As much as I struggle getting them to regular classes, the pay-off has been bigger than my frustration. To hear my kids say, ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘yes sir’ is a crowning achievement of my motherhood experience. Some days, it’s all I got.

However, I am not a big proponent of introducing Kung Fu weapons to three and five year old boys (especially my three and five year old boys). I have resisted pressure from their school to purchase the latest weapon for their upcoming graduation. It is called a bow staff and honestly, to me, it looks like a glorified stick. I don’t mind them being exposed to the ‘coolness’ of martial arts weaponry while at school (but still, you should see a herd of little students with glorified sticks, just plain frightening); I just don’t want the weapons in my home in any way, shape or form.

I expressed my concerns to the instructor. My boys are loose cannons, they are too young and they wear high-powered very specialized glasses just to name a few. He said he understood but in their particular curriculum they constantly introduce new weapons to keep kids interested. I understand the desire to keep things exciting because once you hit school-age, you have access to whole new range of sports and may choose those over Tae Kwon Do. Still, it is not enough to convince me to purchase the bow staffs. At least not anytime soon.

The instructor suggested that the boys only use the weapons at school. Then, maybe I could put them in a closet on a high shelf or keep them safely locked in my truck otherwise.

As he said to me an image that flashed in my head. I could see Full Speed stealing my keys and driving away bow staff and all.

I am still unconvinced.