mommyhood

Kids Optional

WFAM

My friend was coming over for dinner. Mad Dog has been out of town all week, so it was a perfect time to catch up with my her. To prepare I went to the grocery for a pasta/chicken dish and grabbed a lovely bottle of wine.

As I was going through check-out the cashier carded me for the wine. This flustered me completely because it was so unexpected. I’m in a groove at the grocery and have my routine. When you ask for my I.D. I can’t function because that’s not a usual part of the process.

I swipe my credit card and it asks for my pin number. Huh? I figured I must have accidentally swiped my debit. I tell the cashier to run it through anyway. Access denied. Now I’m even more confused. I run my credit card again and this time I realize too late that I pushed the debit button instead of credit. That’s why it had asked for my pin previously and didn’t work when I entered it. I have to run my card two more times before I get it right. I could tell the cashier was exchanging a look with the bagger. I’m sure they were wondering if I had already tapped into my wine supply in the liquor isle.

I had not. I attribute this all to a serious case of Mommy Brain. Mad Dog has been out of town all week so that only increases my symptoms of Mommy Brain. I’m scattered, tired, over-anxious and kind of cranky. This week I get to blame everything on Mad Dog’s travel. Can’t find my keys? Mad Dog’s fault. My boys acting up? Mad Dog’s fault, again.

The only solution is for Mad Dog to come home. Inevitably if he has to travel then he has to take me with him (kids optional).

mommyhood

Dental Wishes

WFAM
T.Puzzle’s toothbrush from first dentist visit

As I was signing Full Speed out of school and little T.Puzzle was running amok in the lobby, I had a serious moment of pause. Why on earth did I decide to have simultaneous dentist appointments for my boys? Had I tripped and hurt myself? Was my brain deficient of oxygen? As I left having outwardly shared my doubts, the receptionist calls out after me, “I’ll pray for you!” She wasn’t joking.

way to go Full Speed!

The pediatric dentist that I chose (and our insurance covers) is a good 45 minutes away. Again, why so far? Do I not have any good judgment left?

When we arrived they quickly took both boys back. I didn’t see them for over an hour. It. Was. Awesome. So worth the long drive.

I assumed that since I didn’t hear any screaming that they must have been fine. No one had cavities, Full Speed set a good example for little T.Puzzle (who was a first-timer) and the staff actually said my boys were ‘sweet’.

The only thing that was missing from this awe-inspiring experience was a martini bar in the waiting room. If they added that (which I suggested on their patient feedback survey), I would encourage monthly teeth checks for the boys. I want to do my part for the health of their teeth and the teeth of children everywhere.

children, mommyhood, self-discovery

Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)

WFAM

I want little T.Puzzle to be completely potty-trained. I want Full Speed to ride his bike without training wheels. I would like world peace, extraordinary culinary skills and a personal butler named Gerard. None of these things are happening. The potty thing just isn’t clicking for T.Puzzle and Full Speed is as uninterested as can be about losing the training wheels.

This frustrates me beyond all measure. I take it personally if little T.Puzzle has a messy accident. It hurts me that I can’t teach Full Speed this new life skill of two-wheel bike riding.

Since I can’t change how things are, all I can do is change my perspective, right? Will it matter in five years when exactly they master these milestones?

Nope.

Not one little bit.

So, to recap, T.Puzzle’s back in pull-ups and Full Speed’s riding lessons have been postponed indefinitely.

I feel better already.

children, life in pictures, marital blissishness

Mohawks!

WFAM

Mad Dog and I rarely see eye to eye when it comes to the boys haircuts. I am forever scarred from when he took Full Speed for a haircut and Full Speed returned hairless and sickly looking. Full Speed’s hair used to be more blond than it is now, so if you buzzed his head, he didn’t look so good. Then, Mad Dog did the same thing to little T.Puzzle on a separate occasion. I have never fully healed from these experiences.

Sometimes, I don’t have the energy to fight. So, when we took the boys for a trim and Mad Dog said, ‘mohawks!’, I was too tired to argue.

I’m actually kind of glad I didn’t fight it. They look awesome.

kids, mommyhood

Attack Bubble

WFAM

When I was a small girl, I played lots of quiet lady-like games. I often played alone and would make up games like I was a teacher or that I was a bookkeeper just like my Mom (all this required was access to a calculator). My imagination was as boundless as the variations of games I used to concoct to entertain myself. In most of these self-created games, they tended to run on the calm side. For instance, if I was an imaginary teacher I wouldn’t break into spontaneous karate moves or try to high-kick a student’s head.

Playing outside is a fundamental aspect of raising two active boys. I try to come up with new ways to engage their attention and attempt to expend some of their endless reserves of energy. Most activities I did as a child just don’t cut it.

Since the Easter Bunny was so kind and generous and left the boys with several types of bubble-blowing options, I thought I’d give them a try. I used to adore bubbles. I would play with them for hours as I would lazily chase one bubble to the next. I figured my guys would be bored out of their minds.

Within seconds it became the most ferocious game of attack bubble I had ever witnessed. Maybe this is their gift. T.Puzzle and Full Speed can take any quiet, calming activity and turn it into something physically aggressive in seconds. It’s important to play to our strengths.