children, mommyhood

Stop and Smell the Roses

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Raising two boys is a challenge. Throw in my extreme sensitivity and my inability to appreciate wrestling and cars, and it’s hard sometimes to relate to them. Then, on the days I am feeling like I live in an alternate universe from them, they surprise me.

I was getting little T.Puzzle ready for bed. He was driving me bananas. He was dancing and hopping and then he was leaping and shouting. Very difficult to brush his teeth or get him on the potty. I kept warning him and threatening him. I was two seconds away from dropping the discipline hammer when, he stops. He sensed Mommy was about to lose it and stands completely still, grabs the sides of my face with his hands and plants a big, ol’ smooch on me. Ah, so maybe he isn’t totally oblivious to the mood states of others. Very promising (also could be construed as manipulation but for the sake of this story and my sanity, let’s pretend it’s because he inherited some of my extreme empathy). Maybe there is some common ground after all.

Then, as we were out to a family brunch at a fancy restaurant with the most amazing view of the ocean, Full Speed completely surprised me.

“Mom,” he said, “look at the color of the walls. They are blue like the ocean or the sky. They have fish and birds on them so it seems like we are outside at the beach.”

For a boy who is single-minded in his thought process, I thought this was pretty remarkable that he noticed the decor and put it together that is was supposed to represent the ocean.

Maybe all those times I make my boys stop and smell the roses might be making more of a mark than I realize. I’m not being metaphorical (as we all know, I enjoy a good metaphor), I actually make them stop and smell flowers. Here’s a pic of Full Speed doing just that (he’s two at the time of this pic).

good grief, loss of parent

17 Days

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I have to acknowledge this date of February 21st. Exactly a year ago was when my sister called me to tell me my Mom had stage IV pancreatic cancer. Mad Dog and I had returned from getting the boys haircuts and we were out on our lanai when I took the call. I dropped everything and was with my Mom and family by ten o’clock that night. When there was no one else around, my Mom and I stayed up late into the night and talked about life, love and death. She thanked me for being there and I said that I was honored to share this experience with her. It is something I will hold close to me for the rest of my life.

She was gone in 17 days.

I keep thinking of the memories that took place over those days. I comforted her, cared for her and loved her with everything I am. I helped her to be fearless and open to the possibility that what was happening could be beautiful. In very inexplicable ways, it was.

I still miss her every single day.

I love you, Mom.

children, mommyhood

Eye Am Defiant

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Full Speed has this silly way of talking (it seems most of his classmates, especially the boys, talk this way, too) that borders on being disrespectful. It’s hard to describe but if you personally know a five year old boy, you know exactly what I mean. I keep working with him to have a balance of off-kilter, sing-songy phrasing and keeping the content acceptable (no name-calling, using toilet-related vocabulary and the like). He gets one warning if the content veers into inapproriate territory and then he goes to time-out.

As we were getting the boys ready for Saturday Tae Kwon Do, Full Speed slips up and I give him his warning. In the truck on the way there, he does it again. When we are parked, I send Mad Dog and little T.Puzzle on their way and Full Speed has to stay behind for his time-out.

He was absolutely fuming at me. I stood outside the truck and made a big production of looking at my watch to time him. His eyes are shooting daggers. With his steely glance locked on mine, he gives the seat in front of him a good, swift kick. I lean in and tell him if he kicks again, I start time-out all over. This angers him more.

To get back at me he looks me straight in the eyes and… starts hitting his own seat.

I had to turn around and not look at him at all. I didn’t want him to see me laughing (that’s so I don’t cry).

Oh, that Full Speed. Next time I’ll clarify not to kick or hit in a similar circumstance. You know it’s almost guaranteed he’ll start head-butting something.

kids, mommyhood

Running Shoes

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Has this ever happened to you? You choose a nice restaurant with a pleasant ambiance and good food (although incredibly slow service). You realize going in that it could take a long while to get your entrees but you push forward because it’s nice to do something different than pizza and burgers. Everything goes pretty smoothly all things considered and you think you are home free. Then, all of a sudden, your dinner companions (the young and demanding kind) decide that they are done. It matters not to them if the bill is yet to be paid. They are ready to vamoose.

So, you do the only logical thing. You grab them while your partner stays behind to field the check (thank you, Mad Dog) and you head outside with your little bundles of energy. And,… you run group sprints on the sidewalk.

Sometimes I still can’t believe my reality is an evening dinner that ends with wind sprints. But then again, if that’s the price of being these guys’ Mom, there’s no hesitation. Let me grab my running shoes.

mommyhood

Hi, Lisa!

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It was great to see you last night and thanks for being part of the elite (and incredibly amazing, intelligent, extraordinary, etc.) group of my loyal blog fans who read every day. The boys appreciate you and so do I.

Thanks!