bad day, children, health, parenting

No Slime, Please

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Why is it that men lose all ability to function at the first sign of puke? Why is it that while I am comforting a spewing little three year old that I am also supposed to have the where-with-all to instruct Mad Dog in great detail?

T.Puzzle had a rough night. He was up fussing a couple times and was whiny and full of whimpers. We brought him in bed with us in the morning to offer him some solace from his obvious misery. He flailed about and when I got up with him, he let out a cry and vomit soon followed. He managed to get most of it in a bowl, but I did get a nice portion down the length of my arm and a healthy dose landed on the carpet.

“Some help, please!” I shout to Mad Dog who is still lying in bed.

“What do you want me to do?” he asks.

T.Puzzle is still heaving miserably, I have slime on me and I’m trying to remain calm. This is all happening so fast that it frustrates me to turn my energy and focus on to how Mad Dog can help.

“I don’t know…., get some wipes, get a towel, just get SOMETHING!”

In his defense (and it pains me to write this ladies), he thought that T.Puzzle was puking in the bowl we already had out and that I had everything under control. We were out of Mad Dog’s line of sight so he missed seeing the puke on the floor, on my arm and the gurgly mess seeping from T.Puzzle’s poor nose (yeah, for all you non-parents out there, it sometimes comes out their noses which of course is superfun).

I know that we all have our moments to shine and we each contribute different strengths and abilities to the whole of parenting. However, just once I’d love to be the parent who isn’t getting slimed.

children, happiness, mommyhood

Goodnight Smooches

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As the evening is coming to a close for the boys, if Mad Dog is home, I head to my green leather chair in our master bedroom. Mad Dog gets the boys set up with a show or movie and I get a few minutes to journal. The boys are used to this routine and when their actual bedtime arises, they know to find me in my journaling chair for a goodnight ‘hug and mooch’ (as T.Puzzle likes to say). You would think this would seem fairly typical. With my boys typical is a word that doesn’t always apply.

First, T.Puzzle comes in without wearing any pants or even a pull-up. Apparently he made a u-turn on his way to getting his nighttime pull-up. He leans in for a ‘mooch’.

“Good night, T.Puzzle. And I love your pants by the way,” I say.

He turns and exits and his little cheeks are bared for the whole world to see. “Tanks, Mommy,” is his way of thanking me for the compliment. He heads out the door to find Mad Dog and put on his pants (at least I hope that is what happened).

Then, it is Full Speed’s turn. Lately my new nickname has been Agent Juarez (a guinea pig from the children’s movie, G-Force). Full Speed is Agent Blaster.

“Hi, Agent Juarez. Will you marry me?”

“Of course Agent Blaster.”

Full Speed leans in for a kiss and declares us “married”. He is quite serious about it and a tiny smile creeps over his face. It’s obvious he is feeling nothing but love for his Mom. He grabs me with both arms and squeezes me tight.

“Goodnight, Mom. See you tomorrow.” And he’s off with a dash.

In my five years of motherhood I have seen and heard a lot. I still marvel at the fact my boys manage to bring something different to our daily rituals and routines. This is one of the many reasons that no matter what, I have one of the best jobs on the planet.

Uncategorized

Hello to You!

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***I would like to say hello to ‘Miss Jayne’ who is my most loyal and consistent reader second only to Mad Dog (she reads it every day). Thank you! We miss you and send you lots of love to keep you warm through the winter.***

kids, mommyhood, self-discovery

Life Balance

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The boys had been home all day. This is a recipe for disaster. Mad Dog had wanted to watch his Steelers in the afternoon and I went to see a movie. When I returned home, swords were flying, T.Puzzle was crying in spurts and the energy level within our home had reached a dangerous level. Since the football game was winding down I suggested we take them to dinner.

We decide to take them to the recently opened Panera. The boys are wild once we are inside and I have to drag them to a booth so Mad Dog can order in peace. They are boisterously loud with their assorted cars and train engines. I try to shush them to no avail.

“Mom, it’s the CARS that are being loud, not US,” explains Full Speed.

Whatever.

The food comes and T.Puzzle decides he hates his food and his drink. He is shimmying up and down and all around the booth. I’m trying to breathe deeply to cope. All I really want to do is staple him to his seat and force him to eat his overpriced grilled cheese. Alas, no stapler is handy so,……deep breaths instead.

“Mom, I have a surprise for you when we get home,” says Full Speed.

“Is it a nanny?” I ask.

“No, it’s my soccer game,” he replies. I know that sounds adorable but the soccer game is one that he got in his stocking and he doesn’t like it. It frustrates him because he can’t master it. Therefore he is constantly “giving” it to me and his brother.

I had that moment in the booth where I wished my life was different. I wished my boys were calm and mild-mannered. I wished that I could eat a meal from start to finish without having to pay a babysitter or wait until nine o’clock at night to do so. I wished that my boys shared their thoughts and emotions in quiet tones and only cried because they were genuinely sad and not genuinely throwing a manipulative tantrum (such as the one T.Puzzle was currently presenting to me).

Those wishes are far off and possibly may never happen. All I have to survive on is the hope that someday I will find my equilibrium in motherhood and that the personal sacrifices I have made (and they are different for every Mom and every caretaker out there) are worth it. Keep reading and let’s hope that together we find that balance in all our lives….

children, happiness, parenting

For the Love of Trains

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If you are doing what you are supposed to be doing in life your face should look like this…..

That is the joy T.Puzzle demonstrated at the Christmas-themed model train display. I mean for goodness sakes there was even a Thomas the Tank Engine train!!!

Fun was had by all as the boys scurried from one station to the next. They could press buttons and make different sections light up and move. That is until Full Speed thought it was his little brother trying to climb up on his chair (it wasn’t, it was a poor, unsuspecting boy we did not know). Full Speed shouts and brings his arm back and attempts to karate-chop off the boy’s head.

It was time to cut our losses and leave. Of course this turned little T.Puzzle’s joy into sadness.

However, all’s well that ends well with pizza.