gratitude, marital blissishness

True Love’s Cup

WFAM

Mad Dog and I had another date night. Our goal is to have a date night once a week. This is an extremely lofty goal but as of late, we’ve been managing it quite well. This time we were off for dinner and a movie. We saw Couples Retreat. It was lighthearted and fun. Not the best I’ve ever seen but it did make us laugh a few times.

When we arrived at the theater we got in line at the recession counter. I was jonesing for something chocolate. Mad Dog and I decided to split a Coke Zero because right now they come in ginormous Twilight collector’s cups. We already have the one with the character Bella (the main female lead) on it and I was hoping we would get one with her vampire boyfriend (Edward) on it. Yes, I’ll admit it. Apparently I am no better than a high school-aged girl when it comes to crushing on a vampire. I was let-down. Our soda came in a Jacob (the werewolf) cup. For those of you out there who have been sucked in (pardon the pun) to the Twilight saga, you can understand how disappointing this can be for someone who is clearly rooting for the vampires.

I pout a little because I don’t know when I’ll be back at the movies and I have a feeling the cups of Edward will run out soon. Mad Dog senses my distress and chivalrously offers me five dollars to go and get another soda and select the cup of my choosing. I knew I married Mad Dog for all the right reasons. He supports my fantastical whims with aplomb. I really love him for that.

I head back to the front and end up engaging in a lengthy conversation with the teenaged boy behind the counter. As soon as I walk up he says, “Let me guess, you want to get another soda. And, let me guess, you want the vampire dude on it.” Am I really that transparent? Which, in case you are curious, is a characteristic of Twilight vampires when they are in direct sunlight.

The boy shakes his head in disbelief. I try to play coy. “Maybe I should pick the one with all three main characters on it. I mean, I am on a date with my husband. Do you think he’d be offended if I picked the one with just Edward on it?” He stares blankly at me and shrugs. Why am I asking relationship advice from someone who’s most likely only learned how to drive last year?

“Well, I need to be true to myself. Edward it is,” I declare proudly for all to hear. The boy smiles a knowing smile and says, “I have to head to the back and get a new sleeve of cups. There was a group of girls in here earlier that wiped out the counter supply of Edwards”. He slips back to the storage area of the theater. He returns and I clasp my hand around the coolness of the cup and I feel victorious.

Edward

True love can show itself in many forms. For some it could come in the form of a werewolf or vampire. For me, it showed itself tonight as a patient husband that paid for an extra soda that I didn’t really need but most certainly wanted. Thanks, Mad Dog. If there would have been a cup with your picture on it, I would have chosen it hands down.

children, mommyhood, terrible twos

Mother of the Year

WFAM

hide my faceDo you ever have days where things fall into place and your children behave better then you hoped for in whatever circumstance? When your kids say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ on cue and they comply with your every command? Yeah, that wasn’t my day at all.

We are now fully back into the routine of Tae Kwon Do. I feel confident I can get T.Puzzle onto the mat without much fuss. So far so good. However, once he is on the mat, he is out of my realm of threats and cajoling. That’s never been an issue before because in a normal class session, he complies beautifully for the instructor. Yeah, that wasn’t my day at all.

T.Puzzle is in his own world right from the get-go. He barely engages in anything the rest of the class is doing. He gets called out repeatedly to join in and doesn’t. He sort of stands there with a spacey look in his eyes. The instructor begins to take notice of how he is behaving. He gets in T.Puzzle’s face and says, “Hands over your head!” T.Puzzle won’t do it. “Hands over your head I said!” Nope, not happening. The instructor grabs his arms and places them over his head. The instructor calls out the next instruction. T.Puzzle refuses again. This time when he gets in T.Puzzle’s face and says, “Do what I ask of you, T.Puzzle.” He looks at him and says, “No.” T.Puzzle says ‘no’ over and over. My stomach drops to the floor. I’ve never seen any student ever tell the instructor ‘no’ and we’ve been attending for several months.

T.Puzzle is stripped of his belt and is forced to sit in time-out. The instructor says, “Get the diapers, someone’s acting like a baby (oh crap, who told!?! The instructor still erroneously believes T.Puzzle is potty-trained).  T.Puzzle proceeds to cry and all the surrounding parents turn their eyes to me. At that moment, I died a little inside.

I don’t know what was worse, the fact he openly disrespected authority or that several parents said, “How can you sit there? Isn’t your heart breaking for him?” Honestly, my heart wasn’t breaking. My kid acts like a nut all the time (his behavior, not him just to clarify) so this wasn’t shocking to me. The instructor handled it exactly how I handle T.Puzzle at home. It made me wonder, does no one else in the world put their kids in time-out even when the kid is crying like it’s the end of the world? Isn’t that sort of the point? Time-outs aren’t exactly Disney World, right?

Then, my humiliation grows. Prior to class I had filled out Full Speed’s behavior report. When I did it, I had no inkling that T.Puzzle’s behavior would be such a disaster. So, I filled it out honestly and gave him a couple ‘Fs’ (fair) because he keeps talking silly and in a disrespectful manner to adults that we encounter such as cashiers, nurses, and waitresses (etc.). The instructor reads his report, is angry (as he should be) and calls Full Speed out in front of everyone. He takes the report, crushes it into a ball and tosses it across the room. He says he expects better from Full Speed (and so do I).

In every other report that the instructor read, the kids had ‘Es’ (excellent) across the board. I’m supposed to believe that all the kids, and the oldest in class is only seven, acted like perfect angels every single day of the week? What. Ever.surprise

I’m clearly feeling frustrated and wishing there was a wet bar in the parents’ corner. I can imagine perfectly where it would fit. The bar could be bamboo with a nice Tiki theme. There would be a fun, Tom Cruise-like bartender straight out of the movie ‘Cocktail’ who would wow everyone into distraction with his marvelous cocktail-making theatrics.

Instead I am left with two boys who couldn’t hold it together and a world of disappointment and embarrassment. Looks like ‘Mother of the Year’ is out of my reach again this year. That is unless there is a category for most alcoholic drinks imbibed by a Mom in a single day. On second thought, I better get my acceptance speech ready just in case.

children, gratitude, mommyhood

Love; the Most Sustainable Resource

WFAM

I can’t stay crabby forever in the presence of my boys. They are entertaining even if it’s by default.

This morning I asked Full Speed to put some items in our recycle bins in the garage. The point is that he begins to contribute to the upkeep of the house and it lends me a hand. He runs over to the sink, I hand him the items and he exits through the laundry room to what I presume to be the garage. He’s awfully quick and races back to his comfy chair to finish watching ‘Dinosaur Train’ before school.

Mid-morning after Full Speed has been dropped off, I put on Sesame Street for T.Puzzle  and go into our game room (the finished portion of our garage) to workout on the elliptical machine. As I program the machine I glance down and see a piece of cardboard lying next to it. It is the wrapping part of microwave mashed potatoes (yes, I know, I should stop this blog business and write a cookbook) like the kind we had last night. I hop off the elliptical for further investigation. I lean down to peer under the futon we have and what do I find? An empty box, container of milk and diet soda can. Apparently Full Speed couldn’t take the extra four steps to make it to the unfinished portion of our garage where we actually store our recyclables. Before I know it, I’m laughing. That is such typical ‘help’ a five year old boy will give you.

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I’m still chuckling as I get back to working out. T.Puzzle lasts about twenty minutes before he comes gallivanting in to ‘workout’ too. This never goes well. He always winds up getting himself into one precarious situation after the next. I problem solve it by putting on a Michael Buble’ video on my iPhone. It was a bonus for downloading his whole album (which is very good).

T.Puzzle loves music and this does the trick. He lies on the floor next to my phone and watches the video over and over. It has got to be one of the cutest things I have ever seen. My heart is warmed and my spirits are lifted. Life cannot possibly be any better than having boys who fill my life with chaos, laughter and most importantly love. We may not always get things right, but we always, always have each other.

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children, eyesight, loss of parent, mommyhood

Bad Aim

WFAM

I have to take Full Speed for another follow-up at my home away from home (the Children’s Clinic). I must admit my stress level has been through the roof. It is wearing on me to take him to all these appointments. He can sense I’m stressed so he acts out

Regardless, it went well. I should be jumping for joy. Yet, he hasn’t achieved 20/20 vision. I should be counting my blessings that his vision is equal in both eyes (holding steady at 20/60) but part of me wants to scream out in frustration. Enough already! Where’s the 20/20 vision? As a Mom I think I am allowed at least a day or two of disappointment. It’s my child’s vision for goodness sake. I want nothing but the best.

Of course my frame of mind is all off. I talked to my sister, Skee, beforehand and we are futilely attempting to see each other before the year’s end. We have too many constraints with jobs, schools and other extenuating circumstances. We both desperately want to see each other because we are dreading this holiday season like none other. Without our Mom here I think we would both prefer to skip right through to 2010.

Now, I’m at home with both boys as we are at day’s end. I have repeatedly sent them to their rooms because they can’t seem to get along. I think they know Mom is upset so that makes them act all the crazier. It’s a vicious, vicious cycle. Would it be bad if I just left them upstairs until Mad Dog or morning arrives?

I will forge ahead and continue to prepare my gourmet (is Shake ‘n’ Bake gourmet?) dinner and sit down with my two little men to partake. I need to tell them Mommy is having a bad day. I figure if I put my feelings out on the table I can’t possibly make it any worse, right?

green beansSo, we sit down to eat and I say, “Mommy’s having a rough day, she misses Grandma and feels sad.” The response? Full Speed announces he has something in his teeth and T.Puzzle smears mashed potatoes on his head. Not exactly what I was aiming for…..potato head

children, parenting, terrible twos

The Sorry Moat

WFAM

We went to a park we’ve never gone to before today. It turns out to be very cool. It is constructed mostly of wood and is shaped like a castle and a fort. It is huge. I tell Mad Dog I won’t be able to take the boys to this park by myself. I would lose track of them easily and heaven forbid, one of them might fall into the moat (okay, there isn’t a moat but how fun would it be if there was one?).

After chasing them at length through the sprawling castle compound, we casually redirect them to a smaller, more confined area. That way Mad Dog and I can sit on the sidelines and have a complete view of their shenanigans. The weather today has been pitch perfect so it feels awesome to sit back and catch a cool breeze (apparently there are some cool breezes to be found in Florida, who knew?).

Full Speed plays for a bit then heads over to us to negotiate his release back to the castle playground. He’s very logical about it. “Why doesn’t one of you stay here to watch T.Puzzle and the other comes to watch me at the castle?” We rail against this as we are tired and want to stay put. He shrugs his shoulders and darts back off to play.pa293440

In the meantime, little brother T.Puzzle has befriended a mild-mannered toddler girl. They are playing nicely at first. Then, he starts to make animal sounds at her. He’s growling and barking. She’s game and returns the favor. For some reason this angers him. He cocks his arm back and lets loose on her. I jump immediately to my feet and chide him to not hit. He instantly drops in to the ‘I-am-sorry formation’. This means his arms are limp at his sides and he says ‘sorry’ over and over. Sometimes I wonder if he even knows what the heck he’s supposed to be sorry about. I make him apologize to the girl and give her a hug. She cringes in fear until she realizes his intentions are actually good. Then he is brusquely escorted to time-out. He refuses to stay put. He is shimmying his little butt all over the place except the designated point of punishment. When I scold him for that, he picks up some playground mulch and chucks it at my head. Guess what? Playtime’s over.

We head to the car and I’m carrying him like a sack of potatoes (albeit it a highly emotional, screaming sack of potatoes). I drop him next to the car (not on his head, no need to call any authorities) and let Mad Dog take over. Eventually, T.Puzzle really is sorry and gets his act together.

I’m upset and feel the steam of anger rising in me. I have a hard time letting bad behavior like this go. I need to take a lesson from Mad Dog. He claims he has selective memory and only recalls the good in life. He also claims this is the secret to a good marriage. I have to agree but sometimes I’d rather just toss somebody in a moat and call it a day.