children, mommyhood, terrible twos

Fifteen Years

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p9073210T.Puzzle and I have a play date today. We know these friends well enough that even if he gets out of control it’s no big deal. We will remain friends regardless. That’s a relief for me. Having play dates in general can be quite anxiety producing. It matters not how much you hit it off with the other Mom, if your kids don’t click the play date’s over usually before it begins. Luckily, T.Puzzle loves my friend’s three year old daughter. She’s pretty rough and tumble, too. That helps.

We are moving into the time of year in Florida where you can count on consistently beautiful weather (I know, you northerners can hate me right now, try to remember that my summer was searing, miserably hot). Therefore, my friend and I have been attempting to meet for a weekly walk.

During this week’s walk we headed to the amenity center in our neighborhood so she could drop off some stuffed animals. The amenity center is gearing up for their holiday food and toy drive so the stuffed animals were a welcome sight. As we entered the foyer, there was a women seated at the desk already being helped by the amenity center staffer. We had to wait a couple minutes and any Mom with an active almost three year old boy knows a couple minutes can quickly spiral out of control.

My friend is soon helped and the staffer begins to engage her in a lengthy chit-chat about the cuteness of her two daughters (deservedly so) and on and on and on. By now T.Puzzle is out of his stroller running about. He had managed to finagle a ball from my friend’s house and soon this is being tossed this way and that. I try to contain him and encourage him to simply ‘roll the ball on the floor’. Well, he’s having none of that. He’s starts chucking the ball, and let me tell you, this kid’s got quite an arm. I have to get tough and he loses possession of the ball and this causes him to nearly lose all control of his emotions (at least it wasn’t his bowels). He is on the verge of a full-blown level seven tantrum. I manage to coax him down by threatening that he will lose the privilege of going to the park right outside. He caves for he loves the park and he climbs back in his stroller defiantly apologetic. This means he’s sorry but he’s downright angry about having to be sorry at all.

When will I be able to walk in somewhere and not have it be a monumental power struggle topped with hyper-kinetic energy and a good dose of insanity thrown in? Soon? Ever? Help me!

As we are set to exit the staffer looks at us and says rather pointedly, “You are brave to bring your kids out, especially on an errand.” Or something like that. Huh? I think I was just insulted but am too frazzled to realize it. Is she telling us that we should have stayed home? Am I supposed to hide myself indoors until my child is calm and well-mannered? I have struggled with this in the past. I’ve reached my decision.

So long, dear world! See you in fifteen years.

children, humor, mommyhood

Like Father, Like Son

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like father like sonFull Speed is essentially a mini-Mad Dog. For those of my dear readers that know Mad Dog personally, this means I have my work cut out for me. Like his Dad he is incredibly assertive and a no-nonsense negotiator. They also look eerily similar.

Full Speed is five years old going on fifty. He speaks and sometimes acts like a little, old man. Mostly it is sweetly fun. Sometimes, well…, it crosses a line.

Not only is Full Speed an adult trapped in a child’s body, he is slightly OCD (obsessive-compulsive). He likes order in everything. He prefers all drawers and doors shut at all times. He likes everything in its place.

This morning, as the boys had their morning ritual of watching ‘Dinosaur Train’ before school, Full Speed asked to be covered up. T.Puzzle wanted to be included (you know Pete and Re-Pete and all that) so I grab a blanket and threw it over him as well. A pile of mess began to expand from the center of our family room to its outer perimeter. There were pillows, another blanket and an assortment of cars and Transformers strewn about.

Full Speed came over to me and said, “Mom, while I’m at school, you need to clean up this mess before I get home.” Really? You want to go THERE, little man? He said it with complete deadpan as if I’m to jump at the chance to follow his command. I suppose it doesn’t help that when Mad Dog leaves the house he says to Full Speed, “When I’m not here, you’re the boss.” I now know Full Speed believes this. Every Mom in the world, including myself, knows that Moms are the boss no matter who is or isn’t on the premises.

I took a deep breath and sighed (a trait inherited from my Mother). “I appreciate your feedback, sir. However, why don’t YOU clean up the family room before YOU leave for school?” I said this as more of a statement than a question. Actually more like a you-better-do-it-now-or-I’ll-really-show-you-who’s-boss sort of statement.

He got right on board, hopped to it and started in on the mess. Apparently, he’s a little bit scared of me. He really is just like his Dad.

children, gratitude, happiness, marital blissishness

Welcome Back!

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p9243341Grandma and Grandpa joined us for some Buckeye football. Well, it was more like Grandpa came for the football and Grandma came to spend time with the boys (I don’t blame her one bit!).

They brought chili in a crock-pot that Grandpa had made (spicy and good) and I willingly attempted to watch the game (I think I lasted a solid five minutes of actual game time) with Grandpa and Mad Dog.

The boys were invited to play with their cousin at a nearby park. Grandma jumped at the chance to escape football and enjoy the gorgeous day. This quickly evolved into an invite for them to spend the night at Grandma and Grandpa’s.

This is the Holy Grail of parenthood; willing Grandparents who offer to take your children OVERNIGHT and who seem to genuinely enjoy the company of your children. I suppose in small doses, Full Speed and T.Puzzle are quite charming and endearing. Of course with this charm and endearment comes equal parts impulsivity and hyperactivity (like T.Puzzle biting a little girl at Grandma and Grandpa’s church day care; in a church of all things, where were the boy’s scruples??!!!).

Mad Dog and I were in heaven. I drank wine; Mad Dog ran to Publix and got me some cake (it’s vanilla and is essentially a glorified Twinkie) and some Haagen Dazs ice cream. We had an ‘Entourage’ marathon upstairs in the loft and slept in really, really late the next morning. This was all followed by Mad Dog making breakfast (he does a pretty mean scrambled egg) complemented with mimosas. After the breakfast dishes were cleared and cleaned (by Mad Dog, he deserves the recognition), we took the remainder of our mimosas, sat out on the lanai and read in peaceful silence.

I had forgotten that such a thing as peaceful silence exists. I suppose you have to lose something to truly recognize its absence and appreciate its return. Welcome back peace and quiet, oh, how we’ve missed you!

gratitude, happiness, parenting, self-discovery

Full Hands, Full Heart

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It’s that time of the year again. It’s picture day for my guys. It is becoming tradition that around the first of November, I book a sitting to document another year passed. I figure early November is a good point as it’s a couple weeks after Full Speed’s birthday and a few weeks before T.Puzzle’s. This also gives us ample time to order extra photos for holiday gifts. Mad Dog surprised me and was game to make it a family photo op as well. He made a good point that both our boys had new glasses and it would be nice to commemorate that. Full Speed’s changed because of surgery and T.Puzzle’s changed because he could finally read letters and be tested accurately (turns out he was farsighted even though under anesthesia he measured nearsighted; that’s another blog for another day).

I made an appointment at the hair salon to get my hair washed and blown out for early in the morning. Why does it look so much better to have a professional do something as simple as blow dry your hair? That means I had to have everything laid out for Mad Dog to get the boys ready for pictures. He was even going to shower them. They needed it (especially T.Puzzle!).

For any Moms out there who have ever coordinated a family portrait, enormous planning goes into it. To have everyone matching but not too matchy, and clean, pressed and smiling is nothing short of miraculous.

Overall, the boys had their smiling moments and their not-so-smiling moments. They hugged, they fought, they fell over in a big, wrestly heap. Inevitably the woman who was assisting the photographer turns to me and says, “You certainly have your hands full, don’t you?” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this exact sentence from the public at large I would be a gazillionaire. For years this has aggravated me to the depths of my soul. Why? That’s because it’s like stating the obvious. It’s like saying the sky is up and no matter how hard you try, my dear, you will never be Sarah Jessica Parker (I know, I know, I don’t even own a pair of Manolos or Jimmy Choos).

I’m changing my tune. My new response? A deep breath, a pause and this thought: full hands means a full heart.

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children, gratitude, happiness, mommyhood

Pete and Re-Pete

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It’s after school, the weather is gorgeous and we are outside playing in the cul-de-sac. The new neighbor boy, who is seven, has anxiously waited for my boys to come home. He seems to enjoy having two, small pseudo-brothers to play with.

They all are on pedal-powered vehicles of all shapes and sizes. They are crashing into each other and having a blast. It’s fun to watch T.Puzzle try to keep up with the big boys. He imitates his brother to perfection. So much in fact that when Full Speed goes kersplat, T.Puzzle slows his trike, leans over and fully commits to falling, too. Pete and Re-Pete that’s what my Mom used to call them. As that thought automatically pops into my head, I pause and think of her. I’m really missing her lately.

pete falls down

I don’t have time to ponder my sadness for long. I am hopelessly attempting to teach T.Puzzle how to pedal, which for some odd reason angers him tremendously. While I am doing this, the aromatic air swishing back towards me indicates he needs a diaper change. We head inside and take care of business. No sooner than we return, Full Speed announces, “I need to poop!” The urgency with which he states this indicates he better move fast. He hesitates because he is scared to go in the house alone. I tell him to get over himself as I have to gather up T.Puzzle who is clear across the way before I can go in. He does, but it’s not without complications.

bike Frack,bikeBy the time I grab T.Puzzle and head inside, Full Speed is running frantically out of the house with his underwear around his ankles near hysterics. “Where were you, Mommy!?! I don’t want to be alone!” I’m feeling exasperated yet slightly amused at watching a half-naked Full Speed attempt to maneuver with the constraints of his underwear around his ankles. Eventually, things calm down and both boys have sparkly-clean tushies.

We go outside. The neighbor boy announces he is thirsty.bike Frick, bike Guess what? Pete and re-pete realize at that instant they are parched as well. We all head back inside again, drinks are distributed and I begin to contemplate putting them all in the garage in lockdown.

Once everyone’s thirst has been quenched, we return outdoors. Even though life in general can be cumbersome with small kids, I’m glad we stayed the course and remained outside. To watch them in their glory made my heart smile. I’d repeat that any day of the week.