Writes for all Mommies

Mad Dog’s Nan has been staying with my in-laws and will be doing so for the foreseeable future. We are so lucky to have her nearby. We are so lucky to have her in our lives in general. Per her doctor’s and nurses’ advice, it is important that she has planned activities everyday. One such activity is meeting me and the boys out for lunch.

I had decided to venture to Wal-Mart with T.Puzzle and Full Speed. This is always a decision fraught with danger and uncertainty. Nine times out of ten it is extremely stress-filled and anxiety producing. Today, they were surprisingly well behaved. This means that Full Speed was not picking up whatever I had in the cart and pretending it was a fire-arm of sorts and make-believing he is shooting the other patrons of Wal-Mart and T.Puzzle was throwing only a level 2 tantrum (he was upset that we weren’t purchasing a gift bag that had Lightning McQueen on it- he insisted it was his and cried “mine! mine!” but only for a minute or two). During this shopping excursion I received a text from Mad Dog’s Mom that Nan had finished up with the visiting nurse and if we could meet them for lunch. I agreed and chose Applebee’s which is right across the road from Wal-Mart.

Since the outing to Wal-Mart had been pretty good and I wanted them to be newly entertained while we waited for our lunch orders, I went against my better judgment and let them each pick out a toy. Full Speed chose a dinosaur and T.Puzzle chose a giraffe that he kept calling a zebra.

We left the store with our treasures in tow and headed to the restaurant. Applebee’s is literally 1 minute away from the store parking lot. So much can happen in a minute. The boys were getting agitated with each other and I said “the next person who hits their brother with their new toy will get it taken away!” Of course as soon as I pull into my Applebee’s parking spot, T.Puzzle immediately hits Full Speed over the head with his giraffe/zebra. I had to follow through with my threat of toy removal no matter how exhausting or how intense the end result is. T.Puzzle immediately launched into a level 7 tantrum. Tears are streaming down his face, Full Speed is taunting him because he still has his toy and I secretly start to wonder what the drink specials of the day are. Well, since taunting takes a lot of energy and concentration, Full Speed didn’t look where he was going and trips violently on the curb to the sidewalk. He skins both knees and proceeds to lose it. I manage to get both my crying children through the front door. We had managed to arrive before Grandma and Nan so when the hostess asked how many I said “three and two on the way.” I had to say it rather loudly to be heard over the yelling and screaming. The hostess was young and I assumed childless. She was looking my boys with a slightly horrified expression. I tried to make light of the situation that hopefully one of the people meeting us would turn out to be Supernanny. She wasn’t amused. When all was said and done, we made it to our table and the rest of lunch was a little crazy. It seemed to do Nan a world of good to be around the high energy of my guys, but I must admit, those martini specials were awfully tempting.

My family has a secret. Okay, it’s not entirely a secret to you since I have posted about it before. It’s a secret to some because the boys’ Tae Kwon Do instructor is unaware that T.Puzzle is not potty-trained. I suppose we have approached it as a Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell situation. The instructor assumed he was potty-trained and we never have said nor done anything to have him believe otherwise.

It’s really not a huge deal. I just make sure T.Puzzle has a clean pull-up on before he starts class and we are usually able to make it through without incident. I have to admit that I feel kind of uncomfortable when the instructor comments on why it’s no fun to be a baby. He’ll ask “Why don’t we like babies?” to the class and they answer “Because they cry, sir! Because they are stinky, sir!” These statements describe T.Puzzle to a tee. He does in fact cry and more often than not is stinky. Oh well.

During a recent class, T.Puzzle was having some adjustment issues with his pull-up. As you know by now, the Tae Kwon Do uniform is complicated. I can easily understand that a pull-up may ride up your little behind when wearing one. So, throughout the class, T.Puzzle kept grabbing and yanking on his pull-up. The instructor assumed it’s because T.Puzzle needed to use the potty. The instructor looked to me to do something. I grabbed T.Puzzle and headed to the nearest restroom which, now that I think about it, was actually labeled as the men’s room. Oh well, again.

Since his diaper was dry and he was grinning at me from ear to ear, there wasn’t much to be done. We stayed in there what I thought seemed like an appropriate amount of time. I asked if he needed to go potty. He said, “All done!” as usual without doing anything toilet-related. He leaned over, gave me a big hug and smooch and kept on grinning. He was enjoying this little private break from class with his Mommy. He may not be potty-trained but he is damned cute!

I’m curious, if you go to the Chick-fil-a drive thru for some chicken strips, does that cancel out your morning Zumba class? I sure hope not.

I want to make something clear before I continue my blog. I know it seems like there is much tension between T.Puzzle and Full Speed and myself, which there is, however, there is also an underlying current of love. We may not always show it in our thoughts and actions, but it is always, always there.

I must confess, when I decided to have T.Puzzle a huge motivator for this was so I could have a built-in playmate for my very hyperactive always-in-need of entertainment Full Speed. At the 20 week mark of my pregnancy when Mad Dog and I discovered that T.Puzzle was a boy I was elated. Two boys would get along marvelously, right?

Wrong.

The first two years of introducing T.Puzzle into our home were disaster-filled to say the least. Full Speed beat on T.Puzzle relentlessly and I could never, ever leave them alone unsupervised. Full Speed could have cared less if T.Puzzle was around or not. Instead, he focused on voicing his displeasure at my decision for adding to the family by increasing the frequency and intensity of his already legendary tantrums. I was in awe that he could do so. I thought we had reached the ceiling of limits in terms of his tantrum power. Full Speed was proving otherwise.

In recent weeks I have noticed a softening of Full Speed towards T.Puzzle. It has been subtle. I think Full Speed is finally enjoying being the “big” brother and likes to show T.Puzzle how to do stuff. T.Puzzle is also becoming more compliant in terms of his ability to follow Full Speed’s commands. Full Speed loves anyone who follows his commands.

Last night, after T.Puzzle’s story time (Full Speed helps pick out the story and listens along and last night was about dinosaurs), I told T.Puzzle to kiss his brother good night. Full Speed stood up and announced, “T.Puzzle, come here for a hug!” They hugged so tightly I thought someone was going to pop a blood vessel. Full Speed said, “I love you, T.Puzzle!” And T.Puzzle mirrored back the sentiment.

My heart was full last night. Maybe they will be friends after all.