gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, life in pictures, marriage, mommy cliques, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, self care (or lack thereof), self-discovery

Happy 2011, Everyone!

Resolutions for 2011 are as follows–

T.Puzzle: To be Superman when I grow up!

That’s super, man.

Full Speed:  I promise to be the bestest boy in all the land.

Considering his initial behavior at our New Year’s lunch out by the ocean, this goal may be slightly on the lofty side.

Mad Dog:  To get fit and have more patience with my boys.

First of all, I think he looks fantastic as is and secondly, I’m thinking he wanted to add ‘and more patience with my wife’.  Since he was speaking this goal directly to me, he was wise to leave that part out.

Me:  To have more gratitude for what I already have.

Case in point...

That’s the great thing about motherhood, it gives you many reasons to be grateful.  I’m serious, mostly…, and no, I haven’t fallen and hit my head (at least not badly).

These are some of the lessons I learned throughout 2010.

1.  No matter how much you dream it or wish it, you are not in control of your life or your children.  It seems the more I try to micromanage Full Speed’s and T.Puzzle’s behavior, the more likely I am to fail and be miserable in the process.   Sometimes you have to let go and let them be who they are, even if that means they act wild sometimes, forget their manners and generally drive you and your spouse nuts.

2. On good days, motherhood is about the balance between caring for the needs of your kids and caring for your own needs.  On bad days, motherhood is about survival.  All you can do is survive until your children’s bedtime, chalk it up to a bad day and start the adventure anew the next day.

3.  When the bad stuff happens, it’s your best opportunity to learn.

4.  I am extremely lucky to have someone like Mad Dog as my children’s father.  Kids love to emulate what they see, and fortunately for me, this means they see love, respect and generosity as a way of life.

Full Speed puts his hands in his pockets just like Mad Dog on our day at the zoo.

5.  Frustration doesn’t get you very far.  Acceptance, an action plan and forgiveness go a whole lot further in this world.

6.  Having kids allows you to remember your own sense of fun.  It’s also a great excuse to wear silly hats when you ring in the new year.

Happy New Year, Everyone!
children, gratitude, happiness, health, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting

Clear Heart, Clear Lungs?

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Poor little T.Puzzle.

You know he would pick his first week of Christmas break to come down with a bronchial virus.

He is finally showing real signs of recovery.  Hopefully he will lose his old man’s smoker’s cough soon, too.

He has been a trooper.  Even the night that we ended up on the family room couch at 2am as I held him upright to stave off the cough, he kept a bright outlook.  He kept worrying that my feet weren’t covered and periodically rearranged our throw blankets that I had tossed haphazardly on top of us.

I was grateful for a reason to smile in my tired early morning haze.

So, maybe our plans for Christmas break have been slightly thwarted.

At least we are together, we have a roof over our heads and we have love in hearts.

Next up?

Clear lungs I hope!

children, gratitude, happiness, humor, kids, mommyhood, motherhood, parenting, tantrums, terrible threes

Wha?

T.Puzzle had an interesting statement.

“I not cry at drop-off today, Mommy.”

Wha?

Did my often unpredictible, at times overly emotional, fully commited to the terrible threes child tell me he wasn’t going to throw a tantrum?

I’ve heard of out of body experiences.  This was mine.

My loyal readers will understand the magnitude of what T.Puzzle was saying to me.

My motherhood journey to this moment has been anything but easy.

And now, here we are.

Tearless drop-offs for T.Puzzle.

What’s next?

Armageddon?

grief, loss of parent, mommyhood

Mom

Grandma and Grandpa with Full Speed, T.Puzzle and all the gang (minus Baby D who would join the world in three months) at Disney World December of 2008.

My ‘vacation’ is officially over and a semi-quiet has settled over my house. It is in this quietude that I can reflect back on all the fun and a little bit of the sad. It has been well over a year since my Mom’s passing and I can honestly say that the grief process has gotten better. In my everyday life I’m adjusting more and more to her absence, but when big or interesting events like this recent vacation pop up, the sting of her loss still gets me.

Mad Dog and I were married at Disney World in December of 2003. Since that time we have made several trips back there and up until her death, my Mom was always with us. This last trip without her had a lot of great moments but also had some moments we wished my Mom could be with us. Our kids only slightly picked up on our random bouts of sadness or so I thought. As my sister and her family were leaving for home yesterday, we got very emotional as we said goodbye. There was no dialogue about missing our Mom, but the emotion exchanged in the air between us was palpable.

Once my sister’s family was gone and I was left with the boys and my sad thoughts, Full Speed looks at me and says, “I miss Grandma.”

“I miss her, too and so does Aunt Skee. That’s why we seemed sad today.”

“Mom, don’t be sad. Aunt Skee has her kids to keep her happy and you have me and little T.Puzzle to keep you happy.”

My heart was warmed by his perceptive compassion but I couldn’t help but wish my Mom was right there in that moment to see it.

Miss you, Mom.

children, gratitude, happiness, mommyhood, tantrums

Summertime

The several transitions of this week are going, dare I say it…, good. I am seeing the first true glimpses of emotional growth in little T.Puzzle and this has made all the difference. The same development pattern happened with Full Speed, too. Both my boys started with the tantrums at around 18 mos. and carried them well through their third year (I’m pretty sure this isn’t common; I just hit the ‘jack-pot’ with two extra feisty kids).  Full Speed’s  tantrums had some carry over into the fourth year so I know I’m not completely out of the woods with little T.Puzzle.  However,  I’m beginning to see the light of hope peak through the trees. After surviving almost four solid years of tantrums and extreme power struggles, you don’t know how good this feels. And, believe me, I know forest fires of feistiness can pop up any moment, I’m just trying to savor what little victories I can.

Moving to a new class this week is a big deal for little T.Puzzle and he has done really well. Of course the first day started with a lot of ‘nos!’ and crying but he rallied. When I picked him up his new teacher told me that he listened well, cleaned up after himself and she couldn’t ask for more from a new student. Little T.Puzzle is so proud to be in the new ‘big boy’ class that by the second drop-off he politely hugged me and went on his way. I had to double-check to make sure that I hadn’t accidentally grabbed another kid on the way in. I couldn’t believe this was MY little T.Puzzle. See I told you, there is that light again.

The changes of summer have been many and I am thankful my family is weathering them with calm determination. This is so much more preferable than our usual crazy, sobbing-tantrum mode of operation.

I may just survive the boys’ summer after all.